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Infertility Support and Discussion
Friend's 3rd IVF attempt failed-what to say?
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Anonymous
| My heart breaks for this girl. She just got the devestating news today abd doesn't want to talk about it now (understandable). What can I say tomorrow, or the next day? Do I avoid the topic until she brings it up? I can't even think about it without crying myself. Thanks for the advice. |
Anonymous
| Tell her you realize that she might not want to talk about it but that you are sorry and that you are here for her for anything at all. Check in with her via email every couple days to let her know you are thinking of her. Tell her to keep her hopes, sometimes it takes several IVFs to have success (depeding on her diagnosis). It took me over 3 and I have a beautiful baby now. |
Anonymous
| You need to wait until she is ready to talk. I remember when my second IVF failed I felt so much anger that I just completely shut down. Sometimes it's better to suffer through the pain alone. Now I am back to normal and just shared the whole failure story with my friend, who was very kind to provide support and words of encouragement. |
Anonymous
| Each person is different but tell her that you are here for her whenever she feels like talking. Tell her that she is in your thoughts and has your support. She will probably open up when she feels comfortable. You are a good friend and she will need that. The best thing to have during the whole TTC time is support and love from your family and friends. I could not have gotten through my time without them. |
Anonymous
| I agree -- give her space. I mean let her know you are on standby for when she is ready and maybe send her an email if you haven't heard from her in a week or so. Then when she is ready to hang out I find that offering distraction can be helpful. You know -- manicure/pedicure, watching a funny movie, shopping, wine tasting. The truth is nothing you can say will make her feel better. But if you can give her a couple of hours where she doesn't think about it, then that might be worth something. When she is ready, of course. |
Anonymous
| Agree with the above, but also at some point when she's ready you may want to suggest that she find a support group if she doesn't go to one (and offer to help!). |
Anonymous
| OP here, thank you all for taking the time to offer your very good advice. It's much appreciated. |