Kindergartener and sibling birthdays

[Anonymous]

How you do handle a kindergarteners emotions when he is upset/jealous at his older brothers birthday gifts. How do I teach him to be happy for his brother?

I already explained that it’s ok to feel jealous and that we each have our own special day. Is this a personality trait or is there a way to raise him to be happy for others fortune. I do think I model good behavior at home and I’m happy for others successes.

Please don’t shame I’m asking for any advice. Thanks. I’m hoping it’s just unemotional immaturity but any think I can say to ease those big feelings.

[Anonymous]

Happy for brother is a stretch.
Not acting out jealousy and accepting each kid gets own birthday is possible maybe.

[Anonymous]

You’ve already explained this to him, but you can’t change his emotions and how he feels. He has a right to feel however he wants about- but he doesn’t have the right to act out, be rude to sibling, or have bad behavior. He is welcome to stay home or stay in room is birthday festivities are upsetting to him. But if he wants to be part of it, he has to behave and be polite or there will be consequences.

[Anonymous]

Mike is just a bit younger than that but I get it OP. We just dealt with this and have with my older one when he was younger too.

Part of it is emphasizing the positives for th non-bday sibling: you get to enjoy a fun party, cake, perhaps any of your own friends or special relatives who'll be there, you get to play with some of the presents after. And that you have your own birthday where the focus will be on you.

I also do try to make the day a little special for the sibling. So for example we had a performer and they included the sibling in a short bit and the bday kid in a longer volunteer part.

Luckily mine have been fine during actual parties and their big emotions have been when it's just us family so easier to handle.

[Anonymous]

He should know his birthday is also coming up.

My boys’ birthdays are very close together. I’m not sure younger was ever jealous because every toy was basically shared.

I can’t think of a time when my daughter whose birthday is not close to her brothers birthday was jealous.

I guess I make everyone share so a sibling’s gift is kind of like their new toy too.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. I very clearly remember at one party, I let the younger sister play with one of her brother’s new birthday gifts and brother was objecting (and very quickly got over it).

My friend made a comment on how I made my son share, even on his birthday. I thought that he should of course share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How you do handle a kindergarteners emotions when he is upset/jealous at his older brothers birthday gifts. How do I teach him to be happy for his brother?

I already explained that it’s ok to feel jealous and that we each have our own special day. Is this a personality trait or is there a way to raise him to be happy for others fortune. I do think I model good behavior at home and I’m happy for others successes.

Please don’t shame I’m asking for any advice. Thanks. I’m hoping it’s just unemotional immaturity but any think I can say to ease those big feelings.

This is enough. He's in kindergarten. He'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. I very clearly remember at one party, I let the younger sister play with one of her brother’s new birthday gifts and brother was objecting (and very quickly got over it).

My friend made a comment on how I made my son share, even on his birthday. I thought that he should of course share.

This will be a memory for your child in later life. "I never got anything of my own, even on my birthday."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. I very clearly remember at one party, I let the younger sister play with one of her brother’s new birthday gifts and brother was objecting (and very quickly got over it).

My friend made a comment on how I made my son share, even on his birthday. I thought that he should of course share.

This will be a memory for your child in later life. "I never got anything of my own, even on my birthday."

I don’t think that is true. Our kids want for nothing. He got 10+ different versions of the same thing. Think Pokemon cards, nerf guns, transformers type toy. Sharing with sibling did not traumatize him. This may just be a personality trait. Both my boys don’t seem overly attached to items. They often would play together.

My youngest is the girl and she didn’t have to share as much since older siblings were never interested in her items. I see some of the girls and they absolutely seem to have jealousy between siblings. Perhaps it is because girl gifts aren’t as easily shared.

[Anonymous]

This is hard for a lot of kids. Your explanation is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should know his birthday is also coming up.

My boys’ birthdays are very close together. I’m not sure younger was ever jealous because every toy was basically shared.

I can’t think of a time when my daughter whose birthday is not close to her brothers birthday was jealous.

I guess I make everyone share so a sibling’s gift is kind of like their new toy too.

We are generally like this but my kids are 3 yrs apart and there's stuff the younger just can't do - not safe, would break it, pieces too small and will get lost etc. So it's not perfect solution for us