4 year old with very low frustration tolerance

[Anonymous]

Almost-5 yo DC has been having an increasingly difficult time with anything that does not go exactly as they want it to. This manifests as screaming/crying/throwing things when playing (ie if a magnatile tower isn’t just right or they colored something “wrong”); yelling or crying about transitions, even when they’re part of routine and heads-up have been given (leaving for school, sitting at the table for lunch); and generally throwing a fit about anything that isn’t just right (sibling is walking in front of them and they wanted to be in the front, preferred shirts not being in their drawer).

At first it was just post-school restraint collapse, but it’s gotten worse over time. When I keep track, we’re averaging some kind of outburst every 5-10 minutes. Nothing I do seems to help either in the moment or with improving coping skills. I’m worried about how this will affect K next year, as well as just our general quality of life as a family. It’s getting to the point where it’s limiting DC - I can’t have them do any activities after school or on weekends because they just can’t even handle it. And I am frankly exhausted from absorbing this constantly for months on end.

DC does have low tone (had gross motor delays, is now on target for milestones) and has been in speech therapy on and off for expressive language delays. Seems on track pre-academically - starting to figure out phonics, can count to 100 and do basic addition, fine motor skills are pretty good.

I’m taking him to the ped to see if we should be exploring OT or trying to rule out anything physical (sleep apnea? Adenoids were removed a few years ago and seems to sleep ok), but does anyone have suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Any social concerns? Has he been assessed for ASD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any social concerns? Has he been assessed for ASD?

Has not been assessed for ASD, socially seems ok at school but is on the shyer side.

[Anonymous]

Does his teacher see this side of him or does he save it all for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does his teacher see this side of him or does he save it all for you?

His teachers say that he’s sometimes frustrated at school but keeps a lid on it - no big outbursts or meltdowns, just not wanting to continue doing something if it’s hard. He’s also much, much more reactive/intense with me than with DH or any other caregivers (eg grandparents).

[Anonymous]

Read about PDA and see if it feels like a match.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes being delayed in speech is really frustrating for kids.