Team work

[Anonymous]

My son has problem with teamwork. He just wants to get it done with, and he does not understand that he has to let other kids in the group to contribute even though he can do it a lot faster than others. He is the only boy in this small group, and other girls like to take it slow and talk out aloud. He solves the puzzle codes and he tells them the answer. The girls are mad that it is teamwork, and they should do it all together. He should not tell them the answer. My son does not understand why they are so slow and what wrong he can complete it faster to get the answer for the group. The girls enjoy the teamwork process and he just wants to get the final answer.

[Anonymous]

How to explain to him that is not how it works for teamwork?

[Anonymous]

He won't always be the fastest. Good way to learn patience and empathy. Goal of teamwork is to learn to work as a team not just to solve the problem.

[Anonymous]

Maybe suggest that he asks his team to have a few problems that are just his? Some kids aren’t ready for actual team work- but there are other solutions.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he can start by quietly working on his own, and sharing his answer when the group has come to a consensus.

[Anonymous]

You need to sit him down and have a serious talk about equity (including gender-equity).

[Anonymous]

You can draw this for him as a comic strip. Use stick people of you are no artist. Have speech or thought bubbles for each person in the group. He is looking at it as a problem to be solved and to do it as efficiently as possible. The others are likely enjoying the social aspect and the fun of figuring things out themselves. So put those in the bubbles so he can see other points of view. Point out that everyone considers things differently, and his method may make him a top engineer some day, but other people have skills that benefit humanity, too. Then have the other people in the group have thought bubbles that say your kid is bossy and they don’t want to be his friend, so he gets the social implications of what he is doing. If his style is such a mismatch he should just do his own, then turn the paper over to signal he is done. He likely wants the recognition that he’s done, but he doesn’t need to say so out loud, because that seems like bragging, even though he probably just thinks he’s being factual. Put that in a thought bubble, too. He will understand the whole dynamic better with a comic strip.