burn out ? advice?

[Anonymous]

what do you do for it? maybe its because Im home sick for the second time in 2 weeks, maybe because I have been working flat out since starting this new job 4 years ago, maybe because I'm also parenting teens (one is pretty challenging), and was recently carig for and subsequently lost a parent, but I have just been dreading work. the thing is, my work is actually intellectually fulfilling once I can focus on the good parts, it can be interesting when I'm not caught up in the endless admin grind or the politics of the workplace, and I have a clear vision for growth (was brought up to build a program, both literally in terms of new space and staff wise/direction wise). But man, I am just exhausted and I have been totally avoidant--late on deadlines, late on answering emails, not excited about travel, meh on new initiatives, and I just wonder if this is temporary or if I should be thinking of an offramp. I doubt I would be happy retired, but I dont really want to keep working like this either. I'm also just low energy all around right now--drag myself to the gym where I phone it in, stuff I used to enjoy--cooking ,romance with spouse, seeing friends seem like a huge effort. I feel lonely and isolated but dont make efforts.... I try to keep the 'noise' of the world down, but that's also crushing.

what do you do to keep things going when you feel like giving up, walking away? I would be disappointing so many people if I did.

I'm also 55. yes, in the midst of menopause, but on hrt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what do you do for it? maybe its because Im home sick for the second time in 2 weeks, maybe because I have been working flat out since starting this new job 4 years ago, maybe because I'm also parenting teens (one is pretty challenging), and was recently carig for and subsequently lost a parent, but I have just been dreading work. the thing is, my work is actually intellectually fulfilling once I can focus on the good parts, it can be interesting when I'm not caught up in the endless admin grind or the politics of the workplace, and I have a clear vision for growth (was brought up to build a program, both literally in terms of new space and staff wise/direction wise). But man, I am just exhausted and I have been totally avoidant--late on deadlines, late on answering emails, not excited about travel, meh on new initiatives, and I just wonder if this is temporary or if I should be thinking of an offramp. I doubt I would be happy retired, but I dont really want to keep working like this either. I'm also just low energy all around right now--drag myself to the gym where I phone it in, stuff I used to enjoy--cooking ,romance with spouse, seeing friends seem like a huge effort. I feel lonely and isolated but dont make efforts.... I try to keep the 'noise' of the world down, but that's also crushing.

what do you do to keep things going when you feel like giving up, walking away? I would be disappointing so many people if I did.

I'm also 55. yes, in the midst of menopause, but on hrt.

In a similar situation, early 50s. For me, it’s the lack of a break. I’d like to take a month of leave without pay over the summer, which I’ve heard of other colleagues doing but management may or may not support that or throw back that I could take it but not guarantee my job will still be there.

In the meantime, I pull back where I can and try not to kill myself. Fridays are usually dead at my org so I adjust my hours, start a little later so I can sleep in, don’t take on anything new, take training I’m behind on, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what do you do for it? maybe its because Im home sick for the second time in 2 weeks, maybe because I have been working flat out since starting this new job 4 years ago, maybe because I'm also parenting teens (one is pretty challenging), and was recently carig for and subsequently lost a parent, but I have just been dreading work. the thing is, my work is actually intellectually fulfilling once I can focus on the good parts, it can be interesting when I'm not caught up in the endless admin grind or the politics of the workplace, and I have a clear vision for growth (was brought up to build a program, both literally in terms of new space and staff wise/direction wise). But man, I am just exhausted and I have been totally avoidant--late on deadlines, late on answering emails, not excited about travel, meh on new initiatives, and I just wonder if this is temporary or if I should be thinking of an offramp. I doubt I would be happy retired, but I dont really want to keep working like this either. I'm also just low energy all around right now--drag myself to the gym where I phone it in, stuff I used to enjoy--cooking ,romance with spouse, seeing friends seem like a huge effort. I feel lonely and isolated but dont make efforts.... I try to keep the 'noise' of the world down, but that's also crushing.

what do you do to keep things going when you feel like giving up, walking away? I would be disappointing so many people if I did.

I'm also 55. yes, in the midst of menopause, but on hrt.

In a similar situation, early 50s. For me, it’s the lack of a break. I’d like to take a month of leave without pay over the summer, which I’ve heard of other colleagues doing but management may or may not support that or throw back that I could take it but not guarantee my job will still be there.

In the meantime, I pull back where I can and try not to kill myself. Fridays are usually dead at my org so I adjust my hours, start a little later so I can sleep in, don’t take on anything new, take training I’m behind on, etc.

+1 also 55.

I got an ssri to help me sleep. I think there's some mild depression there possibly from menopause but also just being freakin tired.

My youngest is about to leave for college, so I'm going to just retire. I can't stand my job anymore, unlike OP, and I just don't want to start over in a new job.

OP still has kids at home, so it's harder but I'm going to take a loooong break and travel, and probably never go back to FTE work. I may take some short term temps jobs here and there, yes, for a lot less pay.

[Anonymous]

Can you take some medical time? I recently had some burnout which led to anxiety / insomnia and then also had another medical issue that is made worse by insomnia and actually ended up needing to go to the hospital. I took some medical leave (a week), reprioritized some things, and started a different project that requires a different skill set. I’m 47 with a teen and a middle schooler; my husband is struggling with depression and also snores (I think these may be related); and my mom has dementia. It’s hard! But the break and the changes I made to avoid getting so sick again have helped.

My doctors were deliberating between an ssri, going back on birth control, or both. For now I’ve recently gone back on birth control after 15 years off it.

[Anonymous]

Can you take some medical time? I recently had some burnout which led to anxiety / insomnia and then also had another medical issue that is made worse by insomnia and actually ended up needing to go to the hospital. I took some medical leave (a week), reprioritized some things, and started a different project that requires a different skill set. I’m 47 with a teen and a middle schooler; my husband is struggling with depression and also snores (I think these may be related); and my mom has dementia. It’s hard! But the break and the changes I made to avoid getting so sick again have helped.

My doctors were deliberating between an ssri, going back on birth control, or both. For now I’ve recently gone back on birth control after 15 years off it.

I could take a week. In fact been home last two days and no one cares. Bit I can’t take weeks which is sort of what I feel lien areal mental break would be (as another posted mentioned a sabbatical would be lovely). I have so many deadlines (up through mid 2028) that I feel like even when j take time off I’m still worried, and the emails come all the time no matter what. None of it is truly important if course but the gran scheme of things.

But I hear you on sleep. My spouse also snores but he uses a mouth guard that helps. My mom had bad dementia as well, it’s horrible to be their caretaker during that decline. She died recently so I should feel relief in some way (and I do have a little more time as I was there almost daily) but maybe the burnout is the exhaustion after the fact (and I’m dealing with estate stuff). Plus like you I have one in middle and one in high school, the latter is close to failing out after being kicked off an IEP down to a 504, and I have no energy to fight it anymore. Sometimes I think I want to retire now but go back to work after my kids are launched. Unfortunately that’s not possible.