Being asked what your parents do for a living in interview

[Anonymous]

DD interviewed at an executive search firm for a post-grad job recently.

She had a phone screen and then went into their office for in-person interview. Head of HR’s questions were all personal and nothing related to the role or behavioral or her experience in internships. One that turned her off particularly was “what do your parents do”. She found it very insensitive and classist. I’m a teacher and my husband is a small business owner living comfortable upper middle class but not “rich” lives. Also was probing her on what her siblings do and where they live aka do her parents bankroll their life with a shiny post-grad apartment.

How legal is this? I find it very unfair but maybe because I’m not in corporate I’m not used to these kind of scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Asking what your parents do for a living is appropriate for an interview but not protected. The interviewer sounds ill prepared for his/her role.

[Anonymous]

It could be about networks.
Let's face it, most companies have something or some service to sell. The competent employees who can also make rain are going to trump the merely competent employee.

As a child of a livery driver and seamstress, it took me a pitifully long time to learn this about the corporate world. It didn't matter how hard I might work nor how talented I am. The guy who doesn't want to work hard but who's father is on the Board of a major company that might become a client is going to be offered the job over me.

[Anonymous]

Executive search firms in industries like financial services, if it's a firm that hires a lot of young female grads with no actually experience in financial services, are basically brothels.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't rank too high up there with my worst.

1) Staffing agency lady interviewed me about my past internships when I was looking for a first job or temp job right after graduation. Had a daughter with same major a few years younger. Wanted to know if any of my internships could be available for her kid. Was not offered a job.

2) Interviewer's childhood friend was formerly the political head of the federal agency I worked at before grad school. He said his friend had bad things to say about the commitment of the federal workers there. I told him I could send him a copy of a signed letter from his friend thanking me for above and beyond work at night on a holiday. No second interview.

3) Interview for insurance agent sales support. Asked what kind of car I'd like to buy/dream car. Took a while to think about it then said a Mazda Miata. Asked at end of interview why that question. Interviewer said that it was to see if I would be motivated by money (commissions) and that I didn't seem greedy enough to do the job. That was fair.

Point being - you don't really know why people ask what they do. Sometimes it's worth directly asking. You might get a valuable insight. I did another interview once where I asked a bunch of questions that disturbed the interviewers. Such as...Is it okay to work 10-7? (the executive admin's schedule - and no, it was not), What job titles do you hold? (got a long lecture about how job titles were not important and they all had multiple context-dependent titles), and worst of all...Do you have any female managers? (By this time I knew things weren't going to work out and I was just curious...).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Executive search firms in industries like financial services, if it's a firm that hires a lot of young female grads with no actually experience in financial services, are basically brothels.

Wut? Most recruiters use LinkedIn.

[Anonymous]

Have her say my parents both work and have been very supportive of my education and career. Keep it vague.

[Anonymous]

She’s trying to figure out how wealthy your family is and make an inference (not sure in which direction; you can’t tell with people like this) about your kid’s work ethic and discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be about networks.
Let's face it, most companies have something or some service to sell. The competent employees who can also make rain are going to trump the merely competent employee.

As a child of a livery driver and seamstress, it took me a pitifully long time to learn this about the corporate world. It didn't matter how hard I might work nor how talented I am. The guy who doesn't want to work hard but who's father is on the Board of a major company that might become a client is going to be offered the job over me.

Like another pp I would assume the question was about work ethics of your family. I’d think a livery driver and a seamstress (the combo sounds very 19th century!) are very hard working. I love to see real jobs on kid resumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s trying to figure out how wealthy your family is and make an inference (not sure in which direction; you can’t tell with people like this) about your kid’s work ethic and discipline.

I don't think parents jobs infer about the person's work ethic and discipline at all. It just means that they have connections to certain people that may be beneficial for networking or business development cases. Some of the most successful law partners and financial executives come from humble backgrounds, went to their public flagship, and grind because they don't have that family wealth to fall back on. Completely inappropriate question, but class is not protected. If the interviewer was smart, they would have looked at the kid's LinkedIn and seen class indicators.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be about networks.
Let's face it, most companies have something or some service to sell. The competent employees who can also make rain are going to trump the merely competent employee.

As a child of a livery driver and seamstress, it took me a pitifully long time to learn this about the corporate world. It didn't matter how hard I might work nor how talented I am. The guy who doesn't want to work hard but who's father is on the Board of a major company that might become a client is going to be offered the job over me.

Must you use the word trump in your reply? I am not joking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Executive search firms in industries like financial services, if it's a firm that hires a lot of young female grads with no actually experience in financial services, are basically brothels.

Do you know how you sound? Ignorant at best. I could go on and I won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't rank too high up there with my worst.

1) Staffing agency lady interviewed me about my past internships when I was looking for a first job or temp job right after graduation. Had a daughter with same major a few years younger. Wanted to know if any of my internships could be available for her kid. Was not offered a job.

2) Interviewer's childhood friend was formerly the political head of the federal agency I worked at before grad school. He said his friend had bad things to say about the commitment of the federal workers there. I told him I could send him a copy of a signed letter from his friend thanking me for above and beyond work at night on a holiday. No second interview.

3) Interview for insurance agent sales support. Asked what kind of car I'd like to buy/dream car. Took a while to think about it then said a Mazda Miata. Asked at end of interview why that question. Interviewer said that it was to see if I would be motivated by money (commissions) and that I didn't seem greedy enough to do the job. That was fair.

Point being - you don't really know why people ask what they do. Sometimes it's worth directly asking. You might get a valuable insight. I did another interview once where I asked a bunch of questions that disturbed the interviewers. Such as...Is it okay to work 10-7? (the executive admin's schedule - and no, it was not), What job titles do you hold? (got a long lecture about how job titles were not important and they all had multiple context-dependent titles), and worst of all...Do you have any female managers? (By this time I knew things weren't going to work out and I was just curious...).

I love you for that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD interviewed at an executive search firm for a post-grad job recently.

She had a phone screen and then went into their office for in-person interview. Head of HR’s questions were all personal and nothing related to the role or behavioral or her experience in internships. One that turned her off particularly was “what do your parents do”. She found it very insensitive and classist. I’m a teacher and my husband is a small business owner living comfortable upper middle class but not “rich” lives. Also was probing her on what her siblings do and where they live aka do her parents bankroll their life with a shiny post-grad apartment.

How legal is this? I find it very unfair but maybe because I’m not in corporate I’m not used to these kind of scenarios.

By any chance did she list an Associate’s Degree on her resume?

[Anonymous]

My European Firm their regulator likes Diversity and they get credit for hiring staff whose parents did not attend college. So a plus if parents are uneducated.

I interviewed a sales job selling investments to the rich and I was required to give them a network of 100 possible people to sell to. I had none so rich parents from Harvard would of been a plus