Pre-dance dinner with parents? Is this typical?

[Anonymous]

For pre-driving teens?

DD has a dance tonight and the group (close to 10 girls) are going to dinner beforehand. I had assumed we’d either be dropping her at the restaurant and returning to grab her for the dance, or a few moms would carpool and similarly drop/pickup, but DD has just informed me that ALL of the moms (and some dads) are going to the dinner, too. Is this typical?

[Anonymous]

Typical? No.

Unusual? Also no.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never heard of this but I’d guess that a lot of the group has parents who are friendly and suggested this. I would guess that the parents will have a separate table. I would go unless it’s a real pain or expense for you—it’s a nice oppprtunity to meet other parents. Those oppprtunities are pretty rare when your kids become teens and all of a sudden you realize they are hanging out at houses where you don’t know anyone.

[Anonymous]

No.

Sounds good though; if the other parents are going you should go.

[Anonymous]

Great the parents are going.

Are you and your spouse planning to?

[Anonymous]

How old are these kids? If they are old enough to go to a dance, it sounds very unusual the parents are going to the dinner. It is typical for the kids to go. Never the parents.

[Anonymous]

Not typical but you sit in different parts of the restaurant for sure.

[Anonymous]

I think that sounds pretty fun. Nice of someone to coordinate it. I agree with PP that you should take any opportunity to get to know the parents of the kids your DC hangs with. I think I was with my friend's parents more than my own at times in high school!

[Anonymous]

An unexpected opportunity to meet teen friends’ parents?? Sign me up. Always always helpful, especially if it’s a group of friends that does things together often. They will gain more independence and it’s helpful to know the parents and perhaps glean who’s checked out, who’s super strict, who may be on their 3rd kid and has the inside scoop on teachers. All self serving, I know.

Anyway, we have done this in the past. Moms went to a restaurant across the street while kids ate. Only a couple knew each other well before. It was fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are these kids? If they are old enough to go to a dance, it sounds very unusual the parents are going to the dinner. It is typical for the kids to go. Never the parents.

Well we have a "graduation" dance for 10 years old in our district, so, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Typical? No.

Unusual? Also no.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of this but I’d guess that a lot of the group has parents who are friendly and suggested this. I would guess that the parents will have a separate table. I would go unless it’s a real pain or expense for you—it’s a nice oppprtunity to meet other parents. Those oppprtunities are pretty rare when your kids become teens and all of a sudden you realize they are hanging out at houses where you don’t know anyone.

Agree. It's not a thing that people "always" do but we don't have established traditions for younger (non-prom or Homecoming) kids going to a dance. It's nice. I'd roll with it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds lovely. Why are so many people concerned with whether something is “normal?” Can you not do the math that your teens are inviting you to share in their special night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are these kids? If they are old enough to go to a dance, it sounds very unusual the parents are going to the dinner. It is typical for the kids to go. Never the parents.

Well we have a "graduation" dance for 10 years old in our district, so, no.

That is true and I take it back. Now I remember going to a dance at one of my kid's preschools.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like something the families at DD’s former school would do. It’s a small private and the kids come from all over DC, MD, and northern VA. Kids would sit in one section and the parents in another. Not a big deal.

It was also like this after plays and some games. Gives the kids extra chance to hang out and the parents some time to get to visit and get to know the other families.