This is odd, right?

[Anonymous]

I left a job in December around the one year mark. It was a poor fit (position was not as advertised) and despite making an effort to attend in-person events I failed to make any connections at the company/would go days without talking to anyone. Despite this, people seemed surprised when I left. I kept it extremely high level, just said I was grateful for my time but had found a great role elsewhere, and did not share where I was going or what I’d be doing.

When I left, one colleague (who I’d maybe spoken to twice) messaged me and said we should definitely stay in touch and get together in the future. I said sure, fine, and assumed she was just saying this to be nice and would never follow up. Since then, former colleague has persistently reached out trying to arrange lunch.

I’m at a loss as to why this person is so set on getting together as we hardly knew one another when we did work together. I can brush this off, right?

[Anonymous]

Either she has a crush on you or she’s hoping to network into a better job too.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she’s wondering if there is another reason you left?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either she has a crush on you or she’s hoping to network into a better job too.

+1

[Anonymous]

She wants to commiserate or also to get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either she has a crush on you or she’s hoping to network into a better job too.

Another +1 on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants to commiserate or also to get out.

+1 maybe just needs a venting session. Doesn’t seem that odd.

[Anonymous]

She wants a new job too. As far as brushing her off or not - decide how much you want that professional connection in the future.

[Anonymous]

why is this odd to you OP?

[Anonymous]

She wants to jump ship and inspired by you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left a job in December around the one year mark. It was a poor fit (position was not as advertised) and despite making an effort to attend in-person events I failed to make any connections at the company/would go days without talking to anyone. Despite this, people seemed surprised when I left. I kept it extremely high level, just said I was grateful for my time but had found a great role elsewhere, and did not share where I was going or what I’d be doing.

When I left, one colleague (who I’d maybe spoken to twice) messaged me and said we should definitely stay in touch and get together in the future. I said sure, fine, and assumed she was just saying this to be nice and would never follow up. Since then, former colleague has persistently reached out trying to arrange lunch.

I’m at a loss as to why this person is so set on getting together as we hardly knew one another when we did work together. I can brush this off, right?

Yes, you can brush it off.

However ... you are reminding me of me a few years ago. A woman I new only a tiny bit through work, who had left our job, reached out and wanted to go to dinner. I was really weirded out by it and kept asking my DH "What on earth does she want?" I finally had dinner with her. She didn't appear to want anything, or to talk to me about anything in particular. I left that dinner puzzled and never saw her again.

I realize now ... she was just trying to become friends. And I'm very saddened that I didn't meet her where she was with that. We could have been friends. I don't know; it feels sad to me how puzzled (or even suspicious) I was.

[Anonymous]

I would either meet this person for coffee or keep up with email. Maybe they want another role or maybe they want to be friends. I think it is always good to keep your network open because you never know when you might need someone's help and people are more willing to help if you helped them or if you stayed in contact when you didn't need something.

I applied for a role years ago and I felt the hiring person wasn't very considerate when saying I didn't get the role. As time would have it we worked kind of together when I was in a different role. Last year they were laid off after being where they were for awhile and suddenly asked about roles/networking/meeting/etc. I was kind since I have been there before and gave them some ideas, but no way would I use my own network and reputation on someone who dismissed me and was rude/only used me when they needed something.

People remember. Even if you're swamped you can send a one minute email, take a 10 minute call when you walk your dog, or grab a coffee. People I know better I may take for lunch or grab a coffee and an acquaintance I may reply to a few emails or take a call, but it does come back to you. Also, if I am the one asking I send a nice thank you message after.

[Anonymous]

She may be trying to get you to overshare about your job reactions and departure. Offer coffee but be very very circumspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why is this odd to you OP?

I think mainly because I literally remember interacting with this person twice, and in one instance I distinctly remember her leaving me on ‘read’ for hours and being short with me when she did respond! I try to assume positive intent but I don’t see any reason for her to now try to begin a relationship other than wanting something out of it for herself.

[Anonymous]

She wants a job