At what point is supplementing no longer sufficient?

[Anonymous]

We live in a middling school district, but for various reasons it doesn’t make sense for us to move right now. Kids are starting kindergarten soon and justifying the private school cost for two is difficult. I have no doubt I can cover the math, reading, spelling, and writing that they need outside of school up through sometime in middle school, along with subjects like social studies, art, and music through fun extracurriculars.

I’m curious at what point people think this no longer works. At what point does it become necessary to move to a better school district or private because supplementing becomes insufficient or sufficient supplementing becomes too burdensome? I think I can do it with a fairly minimal time commitment in the early years but suspect it will start to ramp up at some point.

[Anonymous]

Already setting your kids up for failure? If the schools are somewhere in the middle there shouldn’t be problems unless your kids have a learning disability. If your kids end up being very good students there will be classes starting in middle school for advanced kids. Don’t assume the worst.

[Anonymous]

Whenever you don't have enough time, money, and/or energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Already setting your kids up for failure? If the schools are somewhere in the middle there shouldn’t be problems unless your kids have a learning disability. If your kids end up being very good students there will be classes starting in middle school for advanced kids. Don’t assume the worst.

I should have added that the schools tend to decline, most people’s elementaries are good, middle is only so-so and high school has lots of problems.

Not sure how thinking ahead is setting up kids for failure but thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

We moved to be in great public school district in Bethesda, and I still supplemented during elementary school. This is because ALL private and public primary schools have to cater to the lowest common denominator in math and reading, otherwise these kids can't do the rest of their schooling. There is some differentiation in MCPS late elementary, but usually not enough: my son was pulled into a fun advanced spelling group at his home school, and my daughter went to the CES for 4th and 5th, a kind of magnet for elementary kids.

Then by middle school my kids were in advanced tracks and I focused more on extra curricular activities, instead of reading/math/cursive. What PP is missing is that to get to these advanced tracks, some kids do need a bit of outside help... my son needed it, my daughter did not (but I still supplemented, just for her own edification).

So plan on supplementing for all their elementary school years. And before middle school, figure out whether and where you'd like to move for better secondary education. If I were you, I'd stick to public, to keep your powder dry for college. The price of college is exorbitant. My son's private uni is 65K a year total cost of attendance, and in-state public is 30-40K - when your kids get there, it will be much higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to be in great public school district in Bethesda, and I still supplemented during elementary school. This is because ALL private and public primary schools have to cater to the lowest common denominator in math and reading, otherwise these kids can't do the rest of their schooling. There is some differentiation in MCPS late elementary, but usually not enough: my son was pulled into a fun advanced spelling group at his home school, and my daughter went to the CES for 4th and 5th, a kind of magnet for elementary kids.

Then by middle school my kids were in advanced tracks and I focused more on extra curricular activities, instead of reading/math/cursive. What PP is missing is that to get to these advanced tracks, some kids do need a bit of outside help... my son needed it, my daughter did not (but I still supplemented, just for her own edification).

So plan on supplementing for all their elementary school years. And before middle school, figure out whether and where you'd like to move for better secondary education. If I were you, I'd stick to public, to keep your powder dry for college. The price of college is exorbitant. My son's private uni is 65K a year total cost of attendance, and in-state public is 30-40K - when your kids get there, it will be much higher.

OP here. Thanks, this was very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a middling school district, but for various reasons it doesn’t make sense for us to move right now. Kids are starting kindergarten soon and justifying the private school cost for two is difficult. I have no doubt I can cover the math, reading, spelling, and writing that they need outside of school up through sometime in middle school, along with subjects like social studies, art, and music through fun extracurriculars.

I’m curious at what point people think this no longer works. At what point does it become necessary to move to a better school district or private because supplementing becomes insufficient or sufficient supplementing becomes too burdensome? I think I can do it with a fairly minimal time commitment in the early years but suspect it will start to ramp up at some point.

High school, when grades count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to be in great public school district in Bethesda, and I still supplemented during elementary school. This is because ALL private and public primary schools have to cater to the lowest common denominator in math and reading, otherwise these kids can't do the rest of their schooling. There is some differentiation in MCPS late elementary, but usually not enough: my son was pulled into a fun advanced spelling group at his home school, and my daughter went to the CES for 4th and 5th, a kind of magnet for elementary kids.

Then by middle school my kids were in advanced tracks and I focused more on extra curricular activities, instead of reading/math/cursive. What PP is missing is that to get to these advanced tracks, some kids do need a bit of outside help... my son needed it, my daughter did not (but I still supplemented, just for her own edification).

So plan on supplementing for all their elementary school years. And before middle school, figure out whether and where you'd like to move for better secondary education. If I were you, I'd stick to public, to keep your powder dry for college. The price of college is exorbitant. My son's private uni is 65K a year total cost of attendance, and in-state public is 30-40K - when your kids get there, it will be much higher.

Our private supports the lowest performing students by doing pullouts and extra work during other periods. The other kids get put into different sections by level (needs a little help, on level, above grade level). In other words, how public schools did for free 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved to be in great public school district in Bethesda, and I still supplemented during elementary school. This is because ALL private and public primary schools have to cater to the lowest common denominator in math and reading, otherwise these kids can't do the rest of their schooling. There is some differentiation in MCPS late elementary, but usually not enough: my son was pulled into a fun advanced spelling group at his home school, and my daughter went to the CES for 4th and 5th, a kind of magnet for elementary kids.

Then by middle school my kids were in advanced tracks and I focused more on extra curricular activities, instead of reading/math/cursive. What PP is missing is that to get to these advanced tracks, some kids do need a bit of outside help... my son needed it, my daughter did not (but I still supplemented, just for her own edification).

So plan on supplementing for all their elementary school years. And before middle school, figure out whether and where you'd like to move for better secondary education. If I were you, I'd stick to public, to keep your powder dry for college. The price of college is exorbitant. My son's private uni is 65K a year total cost of attendance, and in-state public is 30-40K - when your kids get there, it will be much higher.

Our private supports the lowest performing students by doing pullouts and extra work during other periods. The other kids get put into different sections by level (needs a little help, on level, above grade level). In other words, how public schools did for free 30 years ago.

Public schools do some of that too, in terms of reading level and maybe more difficult math worksheets - at least, that's what my kids got in MCPS. It's what I call Nowhere Near Enough. My oldest also attended a private elementary, with "differentiation". Same thing. It's just not at all what you can achieve with your children with at-home enrichment, PP. I know, I've done that too.

[Anonymous]

Even "middling" publics have an honors and/or AP/IB track at some point, so you will have that. There is also always the option of taking more difficult classes at a community college or a local college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to be in great public school district in Bethesda, and I still supplemented during elementary school. This is because ALL private and public primary schools have to cater to the lowest common denominator in math and reading, otherwise these kids can't do the rest of their schooling. There is some differentiation in MCPS late elementary, but usually not enough: my son was pulled into a fun advanced spelling group at his home school, and my daughter went to the CES for 4th and 5th, a kind of magnet for elementary kids.

Then by middle school my kids were in advanced tracks and I focused more on extra curricular activities, instead of reading/math/cursive. What PP is missing is that to get to these advanced tracks, some kids do need a bit of outside help... my son needed it, my daughter did not (but I still supplemented, just for her own edification).

So plan on supplementing for all their elementary school years. And before middle school, figure out whether and where you'd like to move for better secondary education. If I were you, I'd stick to public, to keep your powder dry for college. The price of college is exorbitant. My son's private uni is 65K a year total cost of attendance, and in-state public is 30-40K - when your kids get there, it will be much higher.

Same here in VA. Live in a top-ranked pyramid in FCPS. The ES always brags about being one of the best in the state. Among our kids, we needed to supplement at a minimum phonics/spelling rules, grammar, handwriting, typing skills, and drilling math facts in all 4 operations. In later elementary and middle, we also had to teach them basic study skills like techniques for memorizing information, how to plan/outline for writing an essay or other paper, how to take notes by hand, etc. Occasionally, we had to teach them other math when it brushed over too quickly at school. We also taught them geography because that's completely absent until AP history classes in HS. We never had to do any reading instruction other than some phonics (which for us was more for spelling) because we read a ton to them at home and established good print reading habits in them, not because the school were in any way stellar at that. The good news is by the time you get to HS, if you've laid these foundations, they can lean heavily into AP classes in which they're likely to learn a lot of content and reinforce all the foundational and study skills you've taught them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved to be in great public school district in Bethesda, and I still supplemented during elementary school. This is because ALL private and public primary schools have to cater to the lowest common denominator in math and reading, otherwise these kids can't do the rest of their schooling. There is some differentiation in MCPS late elementary, but usually not enough: my son was pulled into a fun advanced spelling group at his home school, and my daughter went to the CES for 4th and 5th, a kind of magnet for elementary kids.

Then by middle school my kids were in advanced tracks and I focused more on extra curricular activities, instead of reading/math/cursive. What PP is missing is that to get to these advanced tracks, some kids do need a bit of outside help... my son needed it, my daughter did not (but I still supplemented, just for her own edification).

So plan on supplementing for all their elementary school years. And before middle school, figure out whether and where you'd like to move for better secondary education. If I were you, I'd stick to public, to keep your powder dry for college. The price of college is exorbitant. My son's private uni is 65K a year total cost of attendance, and in-state public is 30-40K - when your kids get there, it will be much higher.

Our private supports the lowest performing students by doing pullouts and extra work during other periods. The other kids get put into different sections by level (needs a little help, on level, above grade level). In other words, how public schools did for free 30 years ago.

Public schools do some of that too, in terms of reading level and maybe more difficult math worksheets - at least, that's what my kids got in MCPS. It's what I call Nowhere Near Enough. My oldest also attended a private elementary, with "differentiation". Same thing. It's just not at all what you can achieve with your children with at-home enrichment, PP. I know, I've done that too.

Of course you can do more at home. But imo there needs to be a balance and I’m ok with a kid being in the top track with pull out / push ins along with minor supplementation at home. What I see with kids getting out of school at 4pm and then having to do math and English tutoring back to back is crazy. I know one kid in 4th or 5th who does Art of Problem Solving Math and English on the same weeknight. That’s almost 4 extra hours of academic work that day, plus the extra homework he has to do for those classes during the week.

[Anonymous]

How much time for in person tutoring plus how much time for tutoring homework? I’m curious for math and English for my 3rd grader

[Anonymous]

Factors to consider:

a) Your time -- how many children do you have, how many do you supplement?

b) Availability of outside classes you feel are worth it (Chinese schools/Kumon/Wednesday Bible classes/AoPS/ etc) vs what you are doing at home.

c) How biddable is your child? Some are a lot easier than others.

d) How many activities and how intense are the ones they involved in? Can drill multiplication tables and talk about geography facts in the car on the way there, but it's hard to be as systematic, and e.g. softball practice runs long.

e) How easy is it for you to cobble together material for supplementation that you feel are appropriate/do you have contacts who can give you options? Easy to get paralyzed. Education is my hobbyhorse, but other people have different kooky obsessions.

I think I probably could've supplemented without much difficulty through sixth grade, because the homework demands in our useless, but well-regarded elementary school were relatively light. (We bailed at fourth, but it was Covid.) I do think it gets progressively more difficult as they get older. I am a very light touch in high school, and not just because my oldest is at a school that I trust adequately covers the material.

[Anonymous]

Get them into private piano lessons with a serious teacher.

Seek out the best in your area, or nearby areas for all/other enrichment activities.