| Work in big tech. Boss super stressed. Is just alternating between yelling, micromanaging, barking commands, cascading criticism then remorseful messages. My anxiety is through the roof. Am job hunting as fast as i can but i can only go so quickly. No idea what to do in the meantime (have considered FMLA but can only do so for so long) |
| That's awful. I'm so sorry. |
| What does your boss expect you to do? Or is he just venting? |
op - it's both. overall move transformation forward faster (team is cranking at all hours and on weekends to do this) but sometimes it feels like just piling on with things that aren't even actionable. Am at a total loss but walk into work each day feeling like i'm going to war. |
| What is he doing to YOU? If he’s just volatile, keep your head down and stop letting him ruin your day. Employment is good, and don’t let the turkeys get you down. |
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You need to learn how to grey rock, just like with disturbed relatives. Detach emotionally from your work. Do not take attacks personally. Do what you can, do not kill yourself trying to finish everything. Follow directions, even if you know they're going to be reversed the next day.
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| Following. And sorry. It is stressful. |
| It sounds like he knows the yelling is inappropriate if he's remorseful afterwards. But I would just walk away if I'm being yelled at. I can't handle that. |
What a way to live. |
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Are you in person with them or remote? There are some horrible abusive tech leaders unfortunately - I believe you on how bad it is. I have been appalled by grown men who scream, humiliate and belittle people all while making millions.
Is your boss a VP or more director level? If more towards director level, you may be able to take action against them successfully via HR complaints but you’d want to work with a lawyer to understand the best way to document and protect yourself from retaliation. The higher profile they are, the less likely you will be successful with an internal investigation (unfortunately). Do you have any prospects to transfer within your company? This is what I see done a lot - it is often quicker than finding a new job externally, and keeps you vesting your stock and all of that. Reach out to any colleagues you have in other verticals of the company and inquire about opportunities. Be honest about what you are experiencing. |
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Im sorry.
My friend works at a nameless tech company that recently closed a $5.6B govt deal and 2 of her team mates had heart attacks within the last 6 months at 38 and 42. |
What!?!? |
Ask your boss for some 101 time and without blaming or complaining, ask for his guidance on how to improve your situation. |
| Agree with the grey rock commenter. In general, unless you are scared you are hook to actually lose your job and be unable to buy groceries or pay rent, you need to mentally remind yourself that this is his problem and not yours. He can’t make you feel bad about it unless you let him. Just channel it into pity for him and his family, do your best, and keep job hunting. |
| I am in tech and report to the CEO of my company, who is just a mean, nasty, petty person. |