odds of conception based on age website or list?

[Anonymous]

I can't seem to find it on my own...does anyone know of an "odds of conception" based on age list/site somewhere? Obviously this is a huge generalization and *my*odds are not necessarily going to fall in line, but I'm having a hard time communicating to my husband that we might want to start getting serious about deciding whether to have #2 .I am 40, and we conceived #1 easily, 2 years ago. He thinks that since it happened before, it can happen again and he points out lots of 40 plus women having babies, so he thinks I'm being too anxious about it. But far too many of our friends have had a hard time conceiving at younger ages, so I know just how lucky we were.....and don't expect things to be necessarily as easy the second time around.

[Anonymous]

here is one link. http://www.babycenter.com/0_chart-the-effect-of-age-on-fertility_6155.bc

You can also tell him my story. I'm 40 and conceived #1 on the first try at 37. When we started for #2 also got preg on first try - ended in early miscarriage. Pregnant again 4 months later - CVS revealed aneuploidy and we terminated the pregnancy. Now I'm on the second month of trying again. It's been a lot of heartache and while I don't know if this would have happened if we tried for #2 earlier but it is a fact that fertility rapidly decreases after 35 and I can't stop myself from wondering...

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you. I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish you the best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Those charts are all based on having no other fertility issues besides age, so bear that in mind.

There is a long thread on this board, "how old is too old?" that might be interesting for you to read (tho it does get a bit off track at times, there are some insightful posts).

If you are 40 and basically ready for another, give some serious thought to whether it makes sense to wait. I'm 40 and pregnant, but it took me over a year, including 2 losses, to get here. My other 3 children were conceived very quickly and easily in my early to mid-thirties; I didn't really expect to have difficulty at 38-39 (sure, "other people" do, but I didn't think that would apply to me!) But at this age, it's often just a matter of getting a good egg, and many cycles, you really have no chance because the egg you ovulated isn't good enough to make a baby. Some women hit the jackpot on the first cycle, even in their mid-40s, but others have to keep spinning the wheel for many months before their "golden egg" comes up.

My husband thought the same thing as yours, but tell him he doesn't know the stories behind any of those 40+ pregnant women. Sure, some got pregnant quickly and easily, but many did not. None of my friends but one knows what I went through to achieve this pregnancy. Lots of them asked if it was a surprise, and I'm sure others think we just decided to try and that was it, when really, it was month after month of disappointment and tears for over a year.

[Anonymous]

to 15:33, thank you. I'm glad you were ultimately successful, but I have no doubt the path was difficult. the issueis that my husband is not ready to make the decision about whether to have another child--not just 'when' but 'if.' And while I have to respect that I don't want to be in the position that he's ready when Im 42 and it's not possible for us. And while I think I do want another, I only want to do so if DH is really on board. Part of the issue is that we're still trying to figure out our lives now--he has another child from a previous marriage, so for him, it's really #3. And there's finances, and lack of family around, etc. All reasons to not have another, or to give it serious thought. But I think when DS turns a year, we need to have made a decision as to whether to try or not.

as for whether I have any fertility issues--of course I have no idea, since I could have just been lucky with DS.

[Anonymous]

as for whether I have any fertility issues--of course I have no idea, since I could have just been lucky with DS.

15:33 here again. You probably don't have other fertility issues since you've had a successful pregnancy recently, but unfortunately being 40 is a fertility issue in itself. Not that 40-yr olds aren't still fertile, we're just not as fertile as 20-yr olds.

I was in the same position as you with DH. I wanted to have #4 several years ago, but he wasn't sure, so we waited. There were times over the past 2 years where I really thought we had waited too long, but eventually it worked out for us. Good luck to you in making a decision - it's hard when you're not both on the same page.

Also, if you think you *might* end up TTC sometime soon, maybe look into supplements that help with egg quality. They take several months to work so there's no harm in starting early; if you choose not to TTC, you can just stop taking them. Based on my research, CoQ10 is the one with the most science behind it. I started taking it the same cycle I got pregnant, so it probably didn't do anything for me since it takes 4-5 months to have any effect, but I would have continued it if I hadn't gotten pregnant that cycle.