Advice on bedtime routine?

[Anonymous]

Our bedtime routine is broken. Kids are 7 and 3. We can’t get them to bed in less than 2 hours (I know this is crazy, be kind!).

We start at 6:30, and the idea is baths, pajamas, books, bed. We try to be in bed at 7:30 (7 year old gets to read in bed till 7:45/8). Then 3 year old screams and cries and makes 5 million requests until 8:30/9. Everyone is tired and not at their best.

How do we make this end? What’s reasonable to expect? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for you. 30 minute routine here for 1 almost 6 year old: bath (every other day - otherwise clean with wipes), tooth brush, song or book. I gently recommend: checking with pediatrician and/or each child's teacher for recs as they know your kids' personalities/temperaments. And, even though I only have one, is it possible to separate the two as the younger is messing up the older's routine (like can 1 parent take each if 2 parents; or 1 parent watch older while you take younger first.) I would recommend keeping to a 5 minute story (love those 5 minute berenstein bears, gabby's dollhouse, etc books.) It seems the top focus needs to be calming/addressing the 3 year's old needs - is he tired enough? does he feel loved? PS You're doing a great job in case you need to hear it.

[Anonymous]

We didn't have trouble putting my kids to bed, but DH or I always lay down with our little ones until they fell asleep. It's not the answer for everyone, but it worked for us.

[Anonymous]

Are they sharing a room and/or disrupting each other, or are these distinct issues?

[Anonymous]

They need separate bedtimes and routines. The 3 yr old should be taken to bed at 7, down by 7:30. The 7 yr old does bath at 7:30 and in bed by 8pm.

If the 3 yr old cries or screams, do Super Nanny style and once say "it's bedtime honey," and lead them back to bed, then 2nd time say "bedtime" and lead them back, and each time after that say nothing and lead them back to bed. If you have to do that 40 times do it, if you have to carry them do it. If you are consistent they will learn when it's bedtime they go to bed and stay there.

But you're putting them to bed too early. If they like it, you can bathe them together, but the 7 yr old gets to stay up later.

[Anonymous]

Also try running your 3yo into the ground around 4 or 5 pm, then do dinner and the bedtime routine. Along kids don’t get enough physical activity to make them tired enough to not fight bedtime.

[Anonymous]

What is the nap situation with the 3-year-old? I remember bedtime being tough with my kids around that age as they started dropping their nap. On days that they didn’t nap, they needed an earlier bedtime or they would melt down. On days that they did nap, they were up way later than we would have liked and it was a struggle to get them to fall asleep.

I agree that you should do separate bedtime for each kid as they have different biological needs. And just keep sticking to the same routine. Consistency is key and it will eventually click.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We didn't have trouble putting my kids to bed, but DH or I always lay down with our little ones until they fell asleep. It's not the answer for everyone, but it worked for us.

What are you going to do go to college with them?

This is a terrible parenting thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't have trouble putting my kids to bed, but DH or I always lay down with our little ones until they fell asleep. It's not the answer for everyone, but it worked for us.

What are you going to do go to college with them?

This is a terrible parenting thing.

Oh for goodness sake, it will stop on its own. This is fine.

But for OP, you've had good suggestions. 3 is hard with that nap/no nap transition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't have trouble putting my kids to bed, but DH or I always lay down with our little ones until they fell asleep. It's not the answer for everyone, but it worked for us.

What are you going to do go to college with them?

This is a terrible parenting thing.

Oh please. I didn’t lie down with my kids to get them to fall asleep, but I know very well that this practice doesn’t create an 18 year dependency. Stop being so dramatic 🤣

[Anonymous]

My kids are older than yours, but people don’t consider a bath to be in a “bedtime routine”. You just mean parenting in the evenings. Which yeah does take hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We didn't have trouble putting my kids to bed, but DH or I always lay down with our little ones until they fell asleep. It's not the answer for everyone, but it worked for us.

What are you going to do go to college with them?

This is a terrible parenting thing.

I'm so glad you asked. My kids are now 28 and 23, and fully independent. They both started going to bed on their own around age 5-6, so there was never any danger of my needing to go to college with them.

[Anonymous]

Are they in the same room?. Bedtime with lights out is reasonable for both at 7:30.Have the 7-year-old bath first. She can read in bed while you bath the 3 year old. Them read maybe one book together and lights out by 8. You can do the stay in bed technique with the 3 year old as pp described. You do not have to answer all requests. You can try to preempt something by a potty before beath and a potty before getting into bed . It's hard by try to have from dinner on be wind down time, Before that tire out the 3 year old as much as possible. They can do quiet play while cleaning up from dinner before baths