How do you communicate you’re not feeling it?

[Anonymous]

I’m new to dating after a divorce. Went out on 3 dates with someone and we text daily. I’m not feeling enough chemistry. What’s the polite thing to say in a situation like this?

[Anonymous]

Since you have been texting him regularly, I would first do a slow fade for a few days, take longer to reply and have very short generic answers. Then in a couple days, just say it’s been nice having the chance to meet, I am not feeling a romantic connection so I am going to end the conversation here. I wish you all the best best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you have been texting him regularly, I would first do a slow fade for a few days, take longer to reply and have very short generic answers. Then in a couple days, just say it’s been nice having the chance to meet, I am not feeling a romantic connection so I am going to end the conversation here. I wish you all the best best.

This.

If texting him all the time feels like a chore, just do it less. After a few days of doing it less, he will either get the hint and move on especially if he isn't super into you either, or he will keep trying, in which case you can be like "hey it was fun getting to know you but I'm just not feeling the romantic connection. It's nothing personal. Best of luck." This is pretty common in online dating where you meet and text so many people so frequently.

[Anonymous]

Tell him it's been great getting to know him and you want to be upfront that you're just not feeling the chemistry so you wanted to let him know so he can find someone better suited for him. All the luck.

Make sure you're straightforward otherwise he will think he can talk you into continuing with him. And don't be surprised if he calls you awful names - some guys can't handle rejection gracefully.

[Anonymous]

Most men can’t handle the “no chemistry” response so I used to tell I went back to old BF or moved. Otherwise they would text smth mean “oh, it must be so frustrating to you that you can’t find anyone with great chemistry at this age” or “good luck with your continued attempts to look younger - you clearly had job done” (I didn’t).

[Anonymous]

Why are you overthinking this. I’m assuming you are not a teenager since you are divorced.
First of all why are you still texting daily if you aren’t interested? Just tell them that you aren’t feeling a romantic connection. Since you met and went on dates, at least make a phone call. You can send a text if you are a bit more shy.

[Anonymous]

As a man, I appreciate a friendly "non chemistry" response. Back to old BF is confusing because it can give hope.

I don't feel like we are a good match is also ok.

[Anonymous]

Stop texting this person.
Be honest and share you’re not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you have been texting him regularly, I would first do a slow fade for a few days, take longer to reply and have very short generic answers. Then in a couple days, just say it’s been nice having the chance to meet, I am not feeling a romantic connection so I am going to end the conversation here. I wish you all the best best.

Or grow up and tell him upfront, and don't try to indirectly shake him off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men can’t handle the “no chemistry” response so I used to tell I went back to old BF or moved. Otherwise they would text smth mean “oh, it must be so frustrating to you that you can’t find anyone with great chemistry at this age” or “good luck with your continued attempts to look younger - you clearly had job done” (I didn’t).

Your picker is broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ll Back to old BF is confusing because it can give hope.
.

"Sorry, I don't want to date you anymore. I'm dating a guy I decided I didn't want to date. You understand, right?" 😂

[Anonymous]

Have you slept with him? That may change how he receives the news. Honestly, after 3 dates, I’d just send a text saying “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you but I’m not feeling the spark I need to continue things. I wish you the best of luck.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you slept with him? That may change how he receives the news. Honestly, after 3 dates, I’d just send a text saying “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you but I’m not feeling the spark I need to continue things. I wish you the best of luck.”

The question is why did she go on 3 dates if she didn’t feel the spark ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you slept with him? That may change how he receives the news. Honestly, after 3 dates, I’d just send a text saying “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you but I’m not feeling the spark I need to continue things. I wish you the best of luck.”

The question is why did she go on 3 dates if she didn’t feel the spark ?

Um that’s what dating is. Going out with people to see who you connect with and who you want to keep seeing. It takes time to get to know someone well enough to decide if they are a good match for you. 3 dates is nothing. Change the word to “connection” if you prefer.

[Anonymous]

First ➕ foremost, let him know how you feel right now before he gets his hopes up.

You can just text him that while you enjoyed your previous dates w/him, you just do not feel any romantic 💘 chemistry w/him.
Let him know that after three dates - - you feel it is best if you both date other people - - since three dates is sufficient time to decide if you should continue dating in the future.

Wish him the best too.