Curfew?

[Anonymous]

What is appropriate for a curfew at 15, 16, 17?

[Anonymous]

By driving age so 16 they have to be home by midnight (and not a second later) on weekends and 10pm on weeknights.

[Anonymous]

We handled the curfew case by case. A 10 pm curfew might make sense for one situation and be too early or too late for another. Context mattered more than the age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We handled the curfew case by case. A 10 pm curfew might make sense for one situation and be too early or too late for another. Context mattered more than the age.

This is how we handle it. My 15 yo isn’t driving so no need for a curfew. It’s case by case basis and we know who is providing the ride and where she is.

My other is 18, and since the driving started we have needed a general idea of where they are going and what they are doing. That’s more important than the curfew. Definitely no blanket curfew because I never want speeding to make it by a certain time, like I did as a teen to make curfew.

He’s been good about keeping in touch if plans ever change, well before the time he’s told us he would be home. He

[Anonymous]

9:00. Maybe 10 very occasionally.

[Anonymous]

10. 11, 12 fo those years but really more dependent on what they are doing. If they are seeing a 9:30 movie that ends at 11;45, just come home after the movie. Big dances or specific parties would be later usually so long as I know where they are. Hanging out at a specific friends house that I know also gets some more leeway (like if a 15 year old is at their besties on a Saturday night, I’m not going to make them by home by 10).

On school nights, I’d say 9-10 unless there’s some specific thing going on.

The harder question is what curfew for a college kid home from school! I was not thrilled about them being out randomly until 2 but couldn’t figure out what the right line was over break.

[Anonymous]

It's never a set time. That implies "do whatever you want and go wherever you want as long as you're home by Curfew." That is totally unacceptable. If I don't want them to hang out with a friend they can't go even if it's 3pm. If they shouldn't be in a certain neighborhood, they can't go. It's based on where they want to go with whom and what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

For 16+ as long as they aren't waking up the rest of the household when they come in, aren't getting into trouble, and are meeting their obligations such as grades, chores, job/volunteering, etc., we do not give a curfew. If any of our teens is showing that this is too much responsibility for them to safely manage, they would have a curfew based on what they're doing, who they're with, and how much time they obviously need at home to focus on things like studying and learning good habits.

Ages 14 - 15, curfew depended somewhat on where they were going and who they were with. Home by 10:30 pm unless a parent-approved reason otherwise existed on a given night.

[Anonymous]

We are not typical. Everyone is home by 9:30pm. Everyone is in bed by 11:00 - and earlier on a school night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's never a set time. That implies "do whatever you want and go wherever you want as long as you're home by Curfew." That is totally unacceptable. If I don't want them to hang out with a friend they can't go even if it's 3pm. If they shouldn't be in a certain neighborhood, they can't go. It's based on where they want to go with whom and what they want to do.

This is somewhat similar for us. There is no set curfew, but we need to know where you are, and there are other circumstance dependent rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's never a set time. That implies "do whatever you want and go wherever you want as long as you're home by Curfew." That is totally unacceptable. If I don't want them to hang out with a friend they can't go even if it's 3pm. If they shouldn't be in a certain neighborhood, they can't go. It's based on where they want to go with whom and what they want to do.

No it doesn't. WTF.

[Anonymous]

I keep telling my 16 yr old nothing good ever happens after midnight (at her age at least), so midnight is the curfew, especially now that they’re driving. I’m 46 and I don’t like driving after midnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep telling my 16 yr old nothing good ever happens after midnight (at her age at least), so midnight is the curfew, especially now that they’re driving. I’m 46 and I don’t like driving after midnight.

That seems a little extreme, but might work at 16. I agree, she doesn’t need to be out past midnight.

My oldest is about to turn 18, this week. There are times he’s closing at work and is home past midnight. There are times they go to the gym after work, when he is not closing and they get in really late. I do not want him speeding to make a midnight curfew.

He will be in college in a few months. There were MANY times I was out past midnight in college through my 30s, just having fun and it was okay. We don’t plan on having any curfew for him at 18 as long as he continues to be responsible, keeps us informed of what he’s doing and doesn’t wake us up when he comes in. We certainly won’t when he comes home next year from college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep telling my 16 yr old nothing good ever happens after midnight (at her age at least), so midnight is the curfew, especially now that they’re driving. I’m 46 and I don’t like driving after midnight.

For what it’s worth in VA and maybe other places they are not legally supposed to be driving after midnight.

Our curfew is based on what they are doing not a time.

[Anonymous]

Kids are 15 and 17–we’ve never discussed a curfew. They’ve always been home by a reasonable time for what they are doing (by 10:30). 17 year old has started being out later recently but always texts around midnight to tell us the plan for what he’s up to and when he’ll be back.