Is this psycho behaviour?

[Anonymous]

I know someone who runs his own business and has his own employees as well as having his mother help out. She helps out so much, putting in 40+ hours per week with the other workers while he mostly does the administrative stuff.

Now, she’s doing it because she wants to help and it’s their business together but it’s still nice considering she’s 65+.

This woman told me that one day at 5am he called her phone multiple times waking her up just to scold her for a mistake she made the day prior.

other than that they have a good relationship but I’m getting a little intimidated.
He is a nice person but I do notice he gets red when he’s annoyed or stressed.
His mother has said that he gets ”really angry” behind the scenes

[Anonymous]

I don't know about psycho, but it does sound like he has issues with anger management. I don't like being around people with tempers, so I'd keep my distance.

[Anonymous]

Is he your boyfriend or something? Yes, it's a red flag to be so ungracious to anyone, much less your own mother... but it depends what your relationship to him is as to how much this matters.

[Anonymous]

I'd be alarmed that she's 65 or older and working full time - I would want to know she's getting a draw similar to his.

[Anonymous]

What's with the British spelling? Are you asking from London?

[Anonymous]

its my boss. Im honestly very intimidated by him and kind of scared. He is nothing but respectful & kind at work but still.

Also, I have a coworker who was sick for multiple days and when one other coworker asked where she was my boss said ”I don’t care”

clearly only happy if everything goes to plan.
We’re all flawed humans but it’s not nice to go to work when I feel like I’m walking on eggshells/ OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
its my boss. Im honestly very intimidated by him and kind of scared. He is nothing but respectful & kind at work but still.

Also, I have a coworker who was sick for multiple days and when one other coworker asked where she was my boss said ”I don’t care”

clearly only happy if everything goes to plan.
We’re all flawed humans but it’s not nice to go to work when I feel like I’m walking on eggshells/ OP

He may have some neurodiversity. May be he is harsher on his mother because he is used to not masking around her. The very blunt and literal "I don't care" answer also points to that. I think if you're uncomfortable, there's no harm looking for another job, but I wouldn't necessarily be scared he'll do something to you.

[Anonymous]

He will fire anyone without hesitation if he wants to and he won't care. This isn't a great long term job.

[Anonymous]

That doesn't sound normal at all.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I don't know about "psycho" but I would view him as potentially abusive and someone to be avoided. I'd also be concerned about his mom, though would avoid getting involved unless there was some kind of actual, unequivocal abuse (physical, financial, etc.). It sounds like she says she's happy with the arrangement even though he does stuff like this so there's not a ton you can do.

[Anonymous]

I work with business owners at my job. Overall, the women founders are lovely (minus a couple), but men generally have tempers unless they're doing something especially meaningful to them, such as working with kids. I dealt with TONS of the angry 5am messages.

I think a lot of it has to do with men actually being worse at business than women. All the women I've worked with know their numbers down to the penny, listen to people more knowledgable than them so they can succeed, etc. Whereas men tend to see themselves as "visionaries" and beyond things like numbers or learning. So their business underperforms, they stress out, and they take it out on everyone. Or some CEOs are just used to yelling and getting their way.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you seem kind of fragile. If you were his mom, you should be irritated, but the only thing you have to be "concerned" about is that he didn't take the time to worry about your sick co-worker.

[Anonymous]

I come from a neurodiverse family, OP, and while I agree that this person probably has something going on, it's NOT OK for him to treat his mother like this, or any employee. I suggest you try to look for other employment, even though I know it's difficult in this economy. You cannot change him. Such people can only be explicitly taught by very close relatives (spouses or parents or siblings) who they feel a strong connection to. It appears even his mother can't do anything, so... best to leave as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be alarmed that she's 65 or older and working full time - I would want to know she's getting a draw similar to his.

What? Lol.

[Anonymous]

I don't put in 40+ hours, more like 5 to 15 per week and most of it at random times at home, but there are similarities to my situation. Never 5 am calls but sometimes 11 pm. Definitely neurodivergent as well as a major anxiety disorder. The same person will show up, also at 11 at night, to do something like install motion lights outside my house he has decided I can't live without.