Never get invited to home birthday party
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Anonymous
| DD7 has been invited to a lot big venue birthday parties & a few 1:1 home playdate, but she is never gets invited to any home birthday party. I realize that more kids (especially. girls) from school host smaller home birthday party these days because of many reasons, and the main one is lower cost. I am worried that DD may not have any close friend, and that is why she is never get invited to small group home birthday party. How can a girl get closer to build closer friendship? Some moms like to talk about their planning of home birthday party or playdate during sport practice or class meeting, but my girl is not invited, and I always end up feeling awkward and had no idea what to say or respond. |
Anonymous
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Home birthday parties aren't cheaper. I only host home birthday parties and I hate the impression that they're cheap. They're more time consuming for parents and cost just about as much. (That is unless you just have kids run around and plan zero activities, no food)
That being said, are you having large birthday parties for your DD? Are you having other kids over for playdates? |
Anonymous
Of course they are cheaper. And not as fun. |
Anonymous
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I don’t think there are as many home birthday parties as you think, especially in early elementary school.
We live in an affluent neighborhood. Money is non factor. We have been to very few home parties and the parties we did attend were not necessarily smaller. My child did get invited to one sleepover when she was 7 and I believe 4 girls were invited. Only one girl stayed over. I picked her up around 930pm. |
Anonymous
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In my entire childhood I had exactly one birthday party at home, when I turned 2. Having them at a venue was more fun. When I was the adult throwing birthday parties, they were always at venues - someone else does the bulk of the work, and our tiny one bed apartment was too small for the 15 or so kids mine wanted to invite.
There's nothing magical about a home birthday party, OP. |
Anonymous
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I dont know many who are having home birthday parties at 7 years old. Don't worry OP.
Does she ever go to or host playdates? |
Anonymous
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Not receiving invites doesn't mean she isn't being invited. It could mean people aren't having as many parties.
We only do parties for certain ages: 5, 10, 13. 16 and 18 will be kids choice- trip or party. We do have home parties but it's close family only. |
Anonymous
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We did a ton of home birthdays when my oldest two were young. They were a lot of work, but we did find them to be cheaper. With my youngest, who is a boy, we only did at home parties when he was little. Now the boys are too crazy for me to want to host them here.
Having said all that, we were one of the only families doing at home parties. So I think you are overthinking this |
Anonymous
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People make too much of these parties and the politics around them. I used to, as well. Then I actually talked to my DD and realized she was totally unbothered by this and actually quite happy, and I started letting it go.
The big things with elementary school socialization is that they (1) feel comfortable and welcome within the broader community, whether at school or in an activity -- not ostracized and not always alone, and (2) are getting good practice interacting with kids in 1:1 an small group settings, which can happy at playdates, recess, during group activities, etc. If she gets both these things, she will be fine and ready for MS socially. Sounds like both of those are find for your DD if she's included in large group parties and gets invited to playdates regularly. Some kids wind up with "best friends" or wind up part of a small group of girls who are close and do things together. This is not the norm and I actually think may have more drawbacks than benefits, as it's more likely to lead to drama and hurt feelings IMO. |
Anonymous
| What is it about a home party that you think is more exclusive or better than a party at a venue? Most kids much prefer the venue parties, IME. I have teens so have hosted and attended many birthday parties over the years and home parties didn't become popular until the kids were around 10+ and were sleepovers. |
Anonymous
+1 They're not much cheaper once you hire some kind of entertainment (magician, science show, whatever), require much more cleanup before and after, and run the risk of destroying a bunch of your stuff. We have parties at our house pretty often and they're a pain. (We don't do home birthday parties because my kids have winter birthdays and the home party only works for us if we can utilize the backyard as well as the house.) |
Anonymous
| We never had a home party as we have a small house. I wouldn't assume everyone is having them. |
Anonymous
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Agree with others that they aren't necessarily more common, or even cheaper if you have an entertainer etc. Its more work unless it's a super small group.
That said yes birthday parties get smaller over ES. It moves from the whole-class norm ok preschool/K to closer friends. Do you have a broader concern that your DD doesn't have close friends? Do you do 1:1 or small group playdates, activities, at houses or elsewhere? Is your DD unhappy? Those are the real questions. |
Anonymous
OP nosey. Problem not been to a lot of people's houses in this country |
Anonymous
My home birthday parties were almost 2x more expensive than at a venue. I get them catered, have multiple sources of entertainment, music, games, etc. not cheap, not easy, lot of fun and everyone has a great time. That said - I would invite all the girls, plus the boys in DD’s class and the ones from other classes she asks for. Open invite to the parents and siblings. I have the quiet girl with 4 real friends and tons of superficial friends |