WWYD: youth sports coaching question

[Anonymous]

I’m coaching my 12 year old’s rec/church type league team in an upcoming basketball season. Rosters recently went out and I sent an email to team parents introducing myself and sharing season schedule details.

I received a reply from a parent stating that her child will not be able to attend any of the scheduled practices due to a conflict with the child’s club-level commitments for another team child is on in the same sport. However the child will be able to attend games.

My reaction is WTF! How can you expect your kid to play on a team without attending practices… sends the wrong message to the teammates who are working hard and attending practice. You’re basically telling me your club team is priority and this team is a distant second.

How would you deal with this/respond? We are not desperate to fill the roster/have plenty of players so it matters nothing to me to have this player there for games (or not).

[Anonymous]

Is there a required minimum of minutes she’s allowed to play? If so, that’s all she plays.


If not I’d ask your rec league how to handle it.

[Anonymous]

So she's practicing for the same sport more times than anyone on rec? She probably wants to play to be with friends or to get some extra experience. We have this situation occasionally in our rec league (especially at the high school level during the high school season where girls will play both school and rec), and we let the club/school players play. We don't necessarily play them more than the other players, who they are usually better than. But we don't play them less.

As someone who has seen lots of coaches handle this situation, as a parent I would not be pleased by how you propose to handle it. It's rec and the kid's still working hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she's practicing for the same sport more times than anyone on rec? She probably wants to play to be with friends or to get some extra experience. We have this situation occasionally in our rec league (especially at the high school level during the high school season where girls will play both school and rec), and we let the club/school players play. We don't necessarily play them more than the other players, who they are usually better than. But we don't play them less.

As someone who has seen lots of coaches handle this situation, as a parent I would not be pleased by how you propose to handle it. It's rec and the kid's still working hard.

As a parent whose kids played at the highest level in sports, playing on a rec team is dumb for the kid at the club level. Injuries????

I am also with the rec coach. If you can not make practice you are not on the rec team.

And as a club level coach again I would never have a kid play rec because of "injuries"

[Anonymous]

I don't know how church leagues work.

But when I coached rec league I told families that it was important to attend practices because although I'd play anyone who shows to games, players who aren't there every day disrupt the chemistry built during practices. And also takes away from the players who show up every day and put in the work. And I advise anyone with such conflicts to talk to the league director to see if they can find another team that fits their schedule more or get a refund. We had this happen with our kids friends and our neighbors too and there were never any hard feelings.

But our team was also a mish mash of players, so isn't a group of friends playing together. Which I don't think it sounds like is your case either.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Missing practice on occasion is fine. Planning to miss ALL the practices? Nope. Maybe see if she could switch to a different team within the rec league where practices don’t conflict.

[Anonymous]

On our rec level team (DH is coach), kids get equal playing time regardless of how much they practice with the team. It's the rule of the league. Our main issue is that there are kids who don't want to play, and just stand on the court and sometimes cry. We've had to forfeit games because kids have other priorities and we don't have enough players. Parents complain that their kids are not the star- dude, bring your kid to practice. it's infuriating, especially in a team sport, where kids have to work together to be successful.
That being said, we have another kid in the same situation, we didn't know that they were moving kids club team practice day when we signed up for rec team. Club practice takes priority. If you don't play my kid because we didn't make it to practice, I respect that. I however, don't think as a rec coach you should be understand the abilities and limitations of all your players.

[Anonymous]

What do your league rules say about required minimum play time in games?

[Anonymous]

Chill, it's a rec league.

[Anonymous]

I would tell the family the kid should switch to a different rec team that practices on a different night so she can make the practice.

My guess is they signed up for the rec league for more game play time and never intended to attend any practices.

I would play her the minimum required amount and no more. Basketball teams need to practice together to work on plays and offenses.

[Anonymous]

Its reasonable to set an expectation that kids who do not come to practice will not be starters. Its unreasonable in rec to sit a travel player who cannot attend practice due to going to another basketball practice. This is a kid. They just want to play with their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell the family the kid should switch to a different rec team that practices on a different night so she can make the practice.

My guess is they signed up for the rec league for more game play time and never intended to attend any practices.

I would play her the minimum required amount and no more. Basketball teams need to practice together to work on plays and offenses.

This. Check your league rules and then stick to them. The player just wants more game experience. That shouldn’t come at the expense of the kids who show up to practice.

Our league requires attendance at at least 50% of the practices to play in games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its reasonable to set an expectation that kids who do not come to practice will not be starters. Its unreasonable in rec to sit a travel player who cannot attend practice due to going to another basketball practice. This is a kid. They just want to play with their friends.

Parents shouldn't sign their kids up for leagues with no intention of ever bringing their kid to a practice. If practices conflict, switch to a different rec team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its reasonable to set an expectation that kids who do not come to practice will not be starters. Its unreasonable in rec to sit a travel player who cannot attend practice due to going to another basketball practice. This is a kid. They just want to play with their friends.

Parents shouldn't sign their kids up for leagues with no intention of ever bringing their kid to a practice. If practices conflict, switch to a different rec team.

Do your kids play sports? When you sign up you have no idea what day practice will be. You can't just switch on a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its reasonable to set an expectation that kids who do not come to practice will not be starters. Its unreasonable in rec to sit a travel player who cannot attend practice due to going to another basketball practice. This is a kid. They just want to play with their friends.

Parents shouldn't sign their kids up for leagues with no intention of ever bringing their kid to a practice. If practices conflict, switch to a different rec team.

Do your kids play sports? When you sign up you have no idea what day practice will be. You can't just switch on a dime.