I get so lonely during WFH

[Anonymous]

My company doesn't even have offices so I've been WFH for 6 years and it won't be changing. I'm loathe to give it up for a job with an in office requirement because I have young kids and the flexibility is big (I don't even have set hours, no one cares when I work as long as I hit deadlines and billing minimums, and am responsive to clients).

But I get so lonely. My work doesn't even have a ton of calls, it's mostly email. I go so long without talking to people.

I sometimes go work at a coffee shop, and I have daily calls with my DH, but it doesn't always help. I just feel really isolated.

[Anonymous]

I'm really sorry to hear this op. What helps me is finding a likeable podcaster/youtube series. I've recently been watching the british and american dude go on food tours.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. It can truly get so lonely.

Have you considered a rented desk at a coworking location? If you go at regular times you’ll start seeing and possibly getting to know others who WFH. I live near a coffee shop and have a few neighbors who also WFH and go there, so we often either run into each other or intentionally meet up; that helps me. If I didn’t have that, I’d go with paid coworking.

Are you getting enough daylight? exercise? And any interaction outside of work hours?

[Anonymous]

I don't get this at all. I work so much better alone.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a similar situation--been FT remote for over 2 years and except for a weekly firm meeting, I really don't talk to anybody at all. I've never met any of my coworkers in person. I'm in the Mountain time zone and most of my coworkers are on the East Coast so I start early and I'm done working by the time my kids get home from school.

Changing jobs would mean over an hour commute each way because I work in a niche area, but I would probably also get a 50% pay bump with the right position. I go back-and-forth on whether it's worth it to pursue something new. My kids are teenagers and the extra money would be great as college looms but making that commute two or three days a week is not attractive.

[Anonymous]

Set up coffee or lunch with friends who live nearby and might have some flexibility during the day. I WFH, and I have a neighbor friend who does too. We walk together or have coffee together, depending on the time available, a few times a week. Sometimes we're both busy and it doesn't happen, but it helps a ton.

If no one has flexibility during the day, start planning occasional evening gatherings, or go to the gym/workout class and let your DH handle bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Get a hobby and get out more after work and on the weekends. Oddly, I’m just lonely at work no matter where it’s happening. I don’t really relate to the people I work with; and I can’t really get close to them anyway, because most of them report to me. I’d rather be lonely working from home, and have more time for my life outside of work, than commute several hours a day to be lonely in the office. Consider that work is not a substitute for a social or home life.

[Anonymous]

I know its tough to make time for yourself with kids, chores and work but you need some outlet. Here are some ideas to kickstart it.

Daily walk or gym. Once a while work from a new cafe. Spotify. FaceTime to family and friends. Mommy and me group. Hope it helps. Occasional lunch with hubs or any friend when possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this at all. I work so much better alone.

NP here.

Comments like this aren't helpful. I work better alone, but I'm Gen X. My kid, who is about to graduate from college, definitely needs something that is full in-person or at least hybrid. He would be terrible at home.

My Gen X spouse is better in the office because it's quieter than being at home (with me). Their office of about 70 has about 10 who are in on any day.

And, OP, i'm sorry you feel isolated. Is it an option to take a walk with any neighbors during the day (like for 30 minutes around lunch)?

[Anonymous]

Join some kind of group class, even just once a week, and make some new friends that share an interest of yours. It helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Are there any SAHM or WFH moms in neighborhood? Befriend them for occasional meetups with or without kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get this at all. I work so much better alone.

Ikr. Me too. However, everyone is different or even introvert sometimes need change.

[Anonymous]

WFH is not for everyone. When your youngest is old enough maybe you will value working in person over flexibility. Everyone is different on that aspect.

[Anonymous]

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." -Blaise Pascal.

Soooooo true.

[Anonymous]

I think you just need to create more community that’s not work focused. Since you have flexibility, meet friends with kids at the playground late afternoon, join a morning boot camp class, go to a workout class midday.