K–8 to private HS: When is best time to switch?

[Anonymous]

DD currently at a K–8 school, 4th grade. She’s been there since kindergarten. Originally, we chose a K–8 because we planned to switch to public school for high school.
Now we’re leaning more toward private high school instead. After looking at tuition and commute, Flint Hill seems like the most realistic option.
Does it make sense to switch earlier, like in 5th or 6th grade? I worry that starting in 9th grade might be more competitive. Also, would it be better for her to start middle school (and finish elementary) at the new school to get a better feel for the fit?

[Anonymous]

This can depend a lot on what your k-8 is like in 7th and 8th. I’ve seen plenty of posts on this board from parents lamenting the early exit rate from their k-8 that makes it seem like the upper grades are a shell of the lower grades. If that’s the case, getting out early would be good.

Our k-8 was excellent in 7th and 8th, and built in a lot of support for the 8th graders and their parents for the HS application process. All 8th graders had their first quarter elective slot used for a “class” run by the division head that included discussion of the process, interview practice, time to work on application questions, SSAT practice, and visits by admissions staff from many of the area HS of all kinds. There were also group and individual meetings for parents.

Apply to private HS is no joke — it takes a lot of time and effort from everybody. How your school supports that process can make a big difference.

[Anonymous]

7th or 8th is a good time to start at Flint Hill, the middle school is very nice and grade size ticks up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This can depend a lot on what your k-8 is like in 7th and 8th. I’ve seen plenty of posts on this board from parents lamenting the early exit rate from their k-8 that makes it seem like the upper grades are a shell of the lower grades. If that’s the case, getting out early would be good.

Our k-8 was excellent in 7th and 8th, and built in a lot of support for the 8th graders and their parents for the HS application process. All 8th graders had their first quarter elective slot used for a “class” run by the division head that included discussion of the process, interview practice, time to work on application questions, SSAT practice, and visits by admissions staff from many of the area HS of all kinds. There were also group and individual meetings for parents.

Apply to private HS is no joke — it takes a lot of time and effort from everybody. How your school supports that process can make a big difference.

I second this. Our K8 middle school experience was outstanding. The class sizes actually increased for middle school. The outplacement support for high school was also excellent. If you are happy at your current school, it might be worth waiting.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, one of the selling points at most K-8s is the middle school. That's such a good time, developmentally, to be in the leadership role and the school has a real incentive to make those grades special (not just a transition point between upper and lower school). Another plus in waiting until 8th is you'll have all the school's resources behind you during the application process. They want this to go well for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, one of the selling points at most K-8s is the middle school. That's such a good time, developmentally, to be in the leadership role and the school has a real incentive to make those grades special (not just a transition point between upper and lower school). Another plus in waiting until 8th is you'll have all the school's resources behind you during the application process. They want this to go well for you!

+1
It seems like the MS is the weak link at a lot of k-12 schools. At a k-8, it’s like being juniors and seniors — they are the top of the school, this is what they’ve been working toward. The school views those grades as the capstone and really puts effort into them and into the HS transition process.

[Anonymous]

DS was at a pre-K to 12th private. We did not see an ideal fit for the HS. Made the move to a 6-12 that offered more. 6th grade acceptance rate with similar stats was 66% and 9th grade was 50% acceptance. If you are going to move due it as early as possible - greater likelihood of acceptance and more time to build friendships.

[Anonymous]

I also think at her age, friendships are becoming more important, but she has already seen classmates change schools without much difficulty. We kind if touch a possible switch with her, and she seem comfortable with the idea, but it was more about future step, we do not want to confuse her till our final decision. Several kids in her class have already changed schools, and new students have joined without any drama. We’ve also stayed connected with families who left our school through after-school activities, whether they moved to public schools or other private ones.
I’m trying to understand whether switching earlier, when transitions are more common, might be easier than waiting until middle school is finished. I’m also worried about what might happen if her best friend is accepted into a different school. Since she’ll be around 13–14, I wonder how that could affect her school choice and whether there are cases where kids don’t want to apply because of friendships. Maybe I’m overthinking this, but thank you for the good ideas I hadn’t considered before.

[Anonymous]

A few items to consider if you would be applying to a K-12.

If applying to a K-12, Are there expansion years in both middle school and also in the high school years? Or is it by attrition? Does one of those two years have a much higher number of new admits?

Private schools are rather small in the DMV and so considerations related to the social dynamics at play are worth consideration.

We've been at a K-12 since early elementary, and here's what strikes me:
1- Middle school is an easier admit.
2- Middle school is a time when relationships are in flux and pressure is less extreme than high school. Parents are also still involved.
While it is absolutely possible for your kid to make friends and become part of the community in high school, parents and kids often make connections sooner when entering in middle school than in high school.

Pressure is also more intense in high school but schools with high school summer bridge programs make the transition go more smoothly.

3- Contrary to what others have said, some K-12 schools actually are great at the middle school level.

We could really see the value in middle school, both academically and with the social-emotional programming.

Also, at our school, middle school was the training ground to help develop the executive function, self-direction, and holistic approach to learning and growth DD would need for HS. This may or may not be the case at every school but do ask about linkages between MS and HS as well as philosophy of the middle school.

4- If you have an outgoing child or a child with a very specific talent, either transition point will work.

5- Kids who have been at the school for a while are receptive to new blood at both transition points.

Final note: Since kids attend a myriad of schools in the area, your child will likely maintain several friends group, which is great.It is also extremely helpful for your child's ability to gain perspective and sidestep some drama during the teen years.

Good luck!