Hoping/planning for an ivy admit (4 year old kid)?

[Anonymous]

I saw this post in the private school forum:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1303775.page

Orig poster notes towards the bottom of her post that both parents are ivy alums and they want the kid to have the best chance to be admitted to an ivy (in 13 years).

Curious about thoughts:

Is this something many private school parents think?

Did you think this when your kids were preschoolers?

Is this a recipe for too much pressure?

**I did think it was interesting the orig poster mentioned that both parents went to ivies (in light of the long thread about legacy boosts and the apparent way that can diminish the view of an acceptance).

[Anonymous]

The fallacy of time, and I want my kid to do at least as well as I did. These parents need to look at acceptance rates from when they attended their Ivy League school, then in 14 years see what schools are at those acceptance rates or slightly lower. Those would be the true target schools you are searching for, don’t be surprised if the college landscape has shifted dramatically in those 14 years.

[Anonymous]

That poor kid. What if the kid has disabilities that make school really hard? What if their interests are in X, which isn't a good match for an ivy league school? Those parents need to learn to love the child they have, rather than mold the child into what the parents want.

[Anonymous]

The best chance for the kid to be admitted to an Ivy is to donate heavily to one or both (if different) of the Ivies they went to. Legacy + donor is probably the best shot they have. Oh, and lobby for the school(s) to keep legacy preference.

In terms of your questions, yes, this is something many private school parents think about; yes, I thought about it but would not act on it as there is no point (as someone else said, the landscape will be totally different); and yes, it is a recipe for too much pressure, burnout, and a breakdown.

[Anonymous]

When our child was born (ow mid-20s), we met with a financial planner who asked us about college. Did we want to save for college (yes), did we want to save for an in-state school or a private out of state school. I remember telling him that if our little nugget got into Harvard there was no way in hell we were going to say, "sorry, we can't afford it."

That being said, we saved for it, little by little. Our child did not go to Harvard, but did get a nice merit scholarship at a not quite as expensive school, and, was able to use the money we saved in their 529 to completely cover grad school as well as their undergrad degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our child was born (ow mid-20s), we met with a financial planner who asked us about college. Did we want to save for college (yes), did we want to save for an in-state school or a private out of state school. I remember telling him that if our little nugget got into Harvard there was no way in hell we were going to say, "sorry, we can't afford it."

That being said, we saved for it, little by little. Our child did not go to Harvard, but did get a nice merit scholarship at a not quite as expensive school, and, was able to use the money we saved in their 529 to completely cover grad school as well as their undergrad degree.

Not the same at all to the original post/link, but glad you were savers.

[Anonymous]

My spouse and I met at a top ten school, our oldest is 7 and we in no way are pushing our school on him. What I've learned since school is how many different paths there are to where we ended up. Both of us work with incredibly successful people who went to all sorts of colleges.

While I'm saving up, the sticker shock for how insanely expensive my college now is definitely giving me pause, especially with the great in state schools in Virginia (I was a scholarship kid myself). So in ten years or so, if my kid has the stats for it, we'll have chats about debt and saving educational funds for secondary school.

Also, worth pointing out that spouse and I both went to public schools. Yes, different world today, but the idea that preschool admission matters for Harvard some day seems totally bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I met at a top ten school, our oldest is 7 and we in no way are pushing our school on him. What I've learned since school is how many different paths there are to where we ended up. Both of us work with incredibly successful people who went to all sorts of colleges.

While I'm saving up, the sticker shock for how insanely expensive my college now is definitely giving me pause, especially with the great in state schools in Virginia (I was a scholarship kid myself). So in ten years or so, if my kid has the stats for it, we'll have chats about debt and saving educational funds for secondary school.

Also, worth pointing out that spouse and I both went to public schools. Yes, different world today, but the idea that preschool admission matters for Harvard some day seems totally bonkers.

Commented earlier but fully agree with this. I’ve already had the conversation with my spouse where she says, “I want the kids to be able to go wherever” and I say, “well, Virginia has some great in-state options” and then show her the COA at top schools. The numbers are crazy.

I turned down a T20 twenty years ago because the tuition and fees alone were too high at $35k. Those tuition and fees would be $55k today if they kept pace with inflation. Instead they are $67k. Things change - you just have to deal with the landscape when it is time, not a decade or two before.

[Anonymous]

I read on here when my kids were small that it was important to have one or two passions, like playing the cello or figure-skating or whatever, but to be able to demonstrate that passion was long held, not new and just for kudos on the applications rounds.

So that did influence me encouraging both my kids to take up instruments early on. I had done the same and I'd attended the NY music prep school, MSM for 5 yrs so I knew what that was like and how it can enrich your experience of education and socialization.

I also knew that it would be helpful for top college applications. My two kids are at college (they started this year) and they are in Europe, so they didn't actually apply to any US colleges. The fact that each of them played difficult instruments to a high standard over an 8-10 yr period never made it into any essay or interview, but the experiences they gained from that musical education definitely informed who they are and gave them confidence.