Switch to private for middle school?

[Anonymous]

We live in a suburban area with a coveted public school district. However during covid there was a mass influx of city folk and multi-children families and now our town faces a significant school budget deficit and I’m beginning to see the cracks in the system with teachers, activities and curricula stretched thin. Any thoughts on starting a new school in 6th?

DC is doing *fine*, but I wouldn’t say excelling or thriving. He is neither an athlete nor a theater kid, nor a scholar, which seem like the only “identities” at the school. How influential is the middle school experience to honing new interests? DC seems generally content, but I wonder if this might be a good time to explore other options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a suburban area with a coveted public school district. However during covid there was a mass influx of city folk and multi-children families and now our town faces a significant school budget deficit and I’m beginning to see the cracks in the system with teachers, activities and curricula stretched thin. Any thoughts on starting a new school in 6th?

DC is doing *fine*, but I wouldn’t say excelling or thriving. He is neither an athlete nor a theater kid, nor a scholar, which seem like the only “identities” at the school. How influential is the middle school experience to honing new interests? DC seems generally content, but I wonder if this might be a good time to explore other options?

I don't understand how the influx would change the curriculum. Can you afford private? Have you looked at pricing? And if you are considering this, you need to start looking, touring and scheduling shadow days now.

[Anonymous]

Middle school sucks no matter where you go, I think. My perspective as a parent of a low-key, quiet and smart kid who wasn’t a superstar athlete or theater kid, etc: big public middle school comes with occasional extremes. Kid saw fights, extreme misconduct, mouthing off, clique-y meanness, behavioral chaos. It taught kid how to sidestep the mess, the same way I’ll exit the metro car at the first sign of someone acting loud or weird. An important life skill. It also developed kid’s empathy by showing kid how lucky they are to have a stable home with a loving family and enough to eat. Moreover, middle school taught kid how to organize themselves academically, how to turn assignments in on time, how to write better essays, how to speak in front of the class. I’m sure private school does that, too. But going to a big public middle school prepares the kid for the next stage of their lives without filtering out the kids whose families can’t afford private school. It’s the real world. I didn’t shelter my kid from it and it didn’t harm DC. It made DC more resilient. However if your kid needs a smaller or private-school environment to succeed academically, that’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

Influx of multi children families! How gross!

Leaving that aside, middle school is a RPUGH time to move schools and start all over socially. Don’t do it because you are afraid of people with siblings.

[Anonymous]

Middle school sucks. Pay for it or don’t.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think MS is where kids start to develop interests. That seems to be more of either an outside of school thing which parents facilitate or a HS thing. Some kids do start in like theater or dance if their school has a program or offers it as an elective. But even with that, it seems to start outside of school. So not sure doing it for your reasoning makes sense.

One other thought. Do you have the money for your kid’s college set aside already? If not do you have a means to pay for it if that’s your kid’s direction? If not your money might be better used by putting it away for the future needs. My kids have a few friends whose parents can’t figure out how to swing their college costs and some haven’t gone and others are needing to drop out.

[Anonymous]

We are at a K/8 and started our kid in 4th after covid. She’s now in 8th. There are always a few kids who drop in just for MS. Her grade I think had 5-6 who started.
If you can afford it without a huge sacrifice then go for it. If you would struggle to pay then I would skip it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a middle school teacher and parent of teens. The PPs who said middle school is rough anywhere you go are correct. I Hormones plus trying to figure out who you are plus being around kids who have already started to develop some concerning habits regardless of SES or other life circumstances is just a confusing time for most teenagers.
Personally, I would not move a middle schooler who is doing "fine" and seems content. A kid who is constantly stressed or overwhelmed or totally shutting down or starting down a path of questionable behavior is a different story.
If you are worried about high school, start looking at your options now and involve your child in the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a middle school teacher and parent of teens. The PPs who said middle school is rough anywhere you go are correct. I Hormones plus trying to figure out who you are plus being around kids who have already started to develop some concerning habits regardless of SES or other life circumstances is just a confusing time for most teenagers.
Personally, I would not move a middle schooler who is doing "fine" and seems content. A kid who is constantly stressed or overwhelmed or totally shutting down or starting down a path of questionable behavior is a different story.
If you are worried about high school, start looking at your options now and involve your child in the process.

totally agree. I would only move schools if there is heavy bullying or gangs in the school. Speaking from experience, private school has its own challenges too. And generally because they are not as big as public schools, regular activities offered are also less. So let your kid explore what he likes.

[Anonymous]

Can you pay for high school too?

If not, don't do it. Yanking a kid away from their friends in 9th seems like a bad idea. Some can roll with it, others can't.

Also, privates have unique issues too

[Anonymous]

OP here. Private school tuition is manageable and would not detract from college savings.

I feel like MS is where you can explore a lot of different activities in a more meaningful way yet nothing really needs to be accounted for. As opposed to in HS, when suddenly everything seems geared toward the path to college.

Local privates just seem to have many more options built in to the day. Not sure if this is really just skilled marketing, but I’d love to hear from people who’ve made this transition and whether it ended up being worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Influx of multi children families! How gross!

Leaving that aside, middle school is a RPUGH time to move schools and start all over socially. Don’t do it because you are afraid of people with siblings.

It might be the city folk she’s worried about. JK

OP your kid is like the great majority of kids. He sounds like a good kid. My son had it tough in middle school. He had some activities outside of school, nothing with classmates so I forced the theatre on him. He is very passive so he needs persuading. They have a musical every year where everyone can join in and then they do a Shakespeare play where they audition and choose about 20 kids. He did the musical. He was cast in the Shakespeare play mostly because his English teacher knew him well and he was director.

I signed my daughter up this year in middle school for the Model UN. She never would have signed up otherwise. Look around, look on their website to see what they offer after school. You might be surprised that he finds something he gets into.

[Anonymous]

OP here. lol, I have no problem with multi child families nor city folk, but I feel like that was the explanation for why our (very high) property taxes were not covering the school’s needs.

I guess it at least helps to know that we are not unique in this situation! I remember the awkwardness of early adolescence and I am not looking forward to reliving the challenges of middle school!

[Anonymous]

There’s no harm in applying if you actually can afford it.

[Anonymous]

OP, a little different timing, but we switched our kids to private from public (in an outer MD suburb) for high school and it was a great experience.

Smaller classes, involved parents, great faculty and staff, more opportunities for sport involvement (my kids’ interests).

Our public high school was okay. But it was huge, there were frequent flights, occasional drug overdoses, and a lot of the issues parents weren’t even aware of. But having two friends who teach there, I heard stories.