Venting- nanny share family are mess

[Anonymous]

The purpose of this post is just to vent, if you have had weird experiences with your nanny share family please comment.

Overall we have an excellent arrangement and the other family is scattered and easy going. However they seem to often forget to pack their child a shawl for winter stroller rides, not enough food or forgets the water bottle. When our nanny brings this up to me I ask her she needs to let the family know. We usually would give the child food if they are still hungry.

However something ticked me off, they forgot to pack food for their child and even after the nanny followed up and offered to go to their house to pick it up they didn't reply the entire day. I felt bad and made lunch for that child.

They apologized to the nanny but had no courtesy to thank us even though the nanny informed them we provided food . I am so upset and don't know why, did they not get back assuming I will fee their child? Are so lazy?

[Anonymous]

if it's making you so upset-just send a quick email/text that you've been providing food/winter gear etc. for their kid when they have not sent it, and to please make sure their kid has everything they need in the future.

[Anonymous]

You sound petty. I'd be annoyed that the other family is not organized, but not to the point that I make a post about it on DCUM. Also, why don't you bring it up with the other family? Send an email and share your concerns and see what they say.

[Anonymous]

I don't think nanny share is the right child arrangement for you. You can't be this petty an nit picky and have it be successful.

[Anonymous]

OP- I'm really sorry. I never had a nanny share but similar story- when my son was younger he went to a 2-week sleepaway camp. I packed everything and had lists and you name it!

His bunkmate's mom only packed him up for one week. AND only packed his ADHD meds for one week! Can you imagine?!! I think the mom showed up with more things after week 1. I hope so anyway!

[Anonymous]

Why don't you do it at their house then as you are bettter at packing? Kids don't wear shawls. Just have the nanny use an extra blanket. Ask the family to contribute $10 to food weekly and make it easy for them. Leave a water bottle at your house or just buy a cheap one for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound petty. I'd be annoyed that the other family is not organized, but not to the point that I make a post about it on DCUM. Also, why don't you bring it up with the other family? Send an email and share your concerns and see what they say.

Very petty. They are both probably paying the same price and OP gets the benefit of it at her house and not having to do anything like pack up stuff.

[Anonymous]

These things all sound minor except them not replying to you (or was it the nanny) for the whole day. That would bother me a lot as well. What if there was an actual emergency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound petty. I'd be annoyed that the other family is not organized, but not to the point that I make a post about it on DCUM. Also, why don't you bring it up with the other family? Send an email and share your concerns and see what they say.

Very petty. They are both probably paying the same price and OP gets the benefit of it at her house and not having to do anything like pack up stuff.

I don't think it's always a benefit to host a nanny share at your own house. Yes, it's comfortable for the child and good that you don't need the extra time to pick up /drop off, but it's also the wear and tear of two kids running around, having to clean it well every night so that it's in good shape to host, and if the parents ever work from home, it's certainly more of a disturbance.

I don't think you need to make a huge deal out of this issue--every parent screws up sometimes, but just send a text and say you've had to provide XYZ for their kid, and can they please make sure to send it next week. If they're nice people, they'll be embarassed and try to do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These things all sound minor except them not replying to you (or was it the nanny) for the whole day. That would bother me a lot as well. What if there was an actual emergency?

Not everyone has a job where they are at a desk with a phone. I cannot contact my spouse all day. How much does a toddler eat that you cannot provide some snacks. Or a blanket for the stroller. This is petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound petty. I'd be annoyed that the other family is not organized, but not to the point that I make a post about it on DCUM. Also, why don't you bring it up with the other family? Send an email and share your concerns and see what they say.

Very petty. They are both probably paying the same price and OP gets the benefit of it at her house and not having to do anything like pack up stuff.

I don't think it's always a benefit to host a nanny share at your own house. Yes, it's comfortable for the child and good that you don't need the extra time to pick up /drop off, but it's also the wear and tear of two kids running around, having to clean it well every night so that it's in good shape to host, and if the parents ever work from home, it's certainly more of a disturbance.

I don't think you need to make a huge deal out of this issue--every parent screws up sometimes, but just send a text and say you've had to provide XYZ for their kid, and can they please make sure to send it next week. If they're nice people, they'll be embarassed and try to do better.

Yes, its to their benefit. Or, they'd choose to do it at the other person's house or day care.

[Anonymous]

When we were hosting a nanny share we agreed with the other family that we'd provide food and diapers and host (wear and tear on the house, laundry of nap linens, etc). They agreed to pay the nanny a bit more and we paid a bit less to compensate. We all did the math and it was roughly equal (we weren't nit picking).

They loved not having to pack lunch or diapers. It wasn't harder for us to have toddler food, since we were already doing so for our kid. Our house wasn't big so we preferred only having one big box of diapers and the kids were the same size, so we were happy to just have diapers for both kids.

We also gave the family a spot to store things like backup clothes and warm items.

In other words, you could consider adjusting to solve the problem if the other family agrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound petty. I'd be annoyed that the other family is not organized, but not to the point that I make a post about it on DCUM. Also, why don't you bring it up with the other family? Send an email and share your concerns and see what they say.

Very petty. They are both probably paying the same price and OP gets the benefit of it at her house and not having to do anything like pack up stuff.

I don't think it's always a benefit to host a nanny share at your own house. Yes, it's comfortable for the child and good that you don't need the extra time to pick up /drop off, but it's also the wear and tear of two kids running around, having to clean it well every night so that it's in good shape to host, and if the parents ever work from home, it's certainly more of a disturbance.

I don't think you need to make a huge deal out of this issue--every parent screws up sometimes, but just send a text and say you've had to provide XYZ for their kid, and can they please make sure to send it next week. If they're nice people, they'll be embarassed and try to do better.

Yes, its to their benefit. Or, they'd choose to do it at the other person's house or day care.

You can continue to repeat that it's to their benefit, and that's your opinion, but that doesn't make it so. When we were arranging to have a nanny share, the other child's family asked to have it at our house because their place was smaller and because one of the parents worked at home. You can't disregard the work it takes to "host" a nanny share at your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think nanny share is the right child arrangement for you. You can't be this petty an nit picky and have it be successful.

+1, even if you could make nanny share work, it doesn't sound like this family is a good fit and you will be resentful all the time. In some ways it works better if both families are a little scattered/disorganized (but fundamentally together, for instance with nanny payments) or both families are kind of uptight and Type A. A mix of the two is always going to cause conflict.

Do you always host?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound petty. I'd be annoyed that the other family is not organized, but not to the point that I make a post about it on DCUM. Also, why don't you bring it up with the other family? Send an email and share your concerns and see what they say.

Very petty. They are both probably paying the same price and OP gets the benefit of it at her house and not having to do anything like pack up stuff.

I don't think it's always a benefit to host a nanny share at your own house. Yes, it's comfortable for the child and good that you don't need the extra time to pick up /drop off, but it's also the wear and tear of two kids running around, having to clean it well every night so that it's in good shape to host, and if the parents ever work from home, it's certainly more of a disturbance.

I don't think you need to make a huge deal out of this issue--every parent screws up sometimes, but just send a text and say you've had to provide XYZ for their kid, and can they please make sure to send it next week. If they're nice people, they'll be embarassed and try to do better.

Yes, its to their benefit. Or, they'd choose to do it at the other person's house or day care.

You can continue to repeat that it's to their benefit, and that's your opinion, but that doesn't make it so. When we were arranging to have a nanny share, the other child's family asked to have it at our house because their place was smaller and because one of the parents worked at home. You can't disregard the work it takes to "host" a nanny share at your home.

You have a nanny for your convience. Yes, its to your benefit.