Tall lanky kid

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 12 and already 5’7 and hasn’t developed yet at all, and I’m worried about how tall she’s gonna end up being. I’m 5’9 and pretty proportionate with long legs and my daughter is the opposite - she has a really long torso and normal sized legs. She’s always been physically awkward but not socially awkward at all and extremely unathletic and gets hurt constantly - also doesn’t help that she’s knock kneed on one side only. Dr doesn’t think surgery is worth it. She’s also very thin but eats a lot and isn’t a picky eater at all, and always has been a good eater

She hates sitting in most chairs to do homework and would rather sit on the floor or on her bad- she said she “doesn’t fit in them” which I can understand and always has to have her legs up.

Should I be worried about her physical development?

[Anonymous]

No. You should get her to do yoga or pilates so she views her body as strong and capable though.

[Anonymous]

All kids sit in weird places to do things. Mine do and I remember doing this as a kid myself.

The rest of it, it all sounds fine. How tall is your husband? She is going to be tall. How awesome for her! (Even if you don't think this, say it to yourself 47 times a day until you can fake that you think this.)

[Anonymous]

Yes, get her involved with gymnastics or yoga or Pilates, it'll be good for her! Also you don't sound as a supportive mom -- I have a mom who constantly went on and on about me not having tits or a butt as a teen and she ruined our relationship for good. Guess what, I'm still tall and lanky and can sit with my legs up at 50... and have tits and a butt as well!

[Anonymous]

You should take your time with her what’s the rush

[Anonymous]

I don't understand what you are getting at. What are you worried about exactly? You think something is wrong with her and that's why she is unathletic and clumsy and knock-kneed? Like you can treat her? She is probably just unathletic and clumsy and knock-kneed.

It's such critical language OP. I hope you are not saying this stuff to her or conveying it in any way. You know by doing things like asking the doctor if she should have surgery to correct being knock-kneed (what surgery is that?). It's hard enough being a woman with societal expectations.

[Anonymous]

She’s eats well, she’s growing, she’s socially capable. What else could you be worried about regarding her physical development???

[Anonymous]

WTF is wrong with you, OP?

[Anonymous]

I understand that you don’t want her to have a growth spurt when she is at an ideal height already.

Hating sitting in chairs when there’s a bed or carpet available is very common. I choose bed over chair and sit cross legged.

You both have different proportions but neither is abnormal.

She sounds fine except that knock knee. Amber there are exercises she can do?

[Anonymous]

Yep, teens are not proportional and it's normal! They literally adjust in all places and that's what the teenage years are about! My DS was chubby between 12-13 and his dad was also showing "concern" -- read he's overweight and was projecting his own insecurities. Now DS is 6'3" and slim, he needed some padding to use for growth. The only thing concerning is that your DD is unathletic and that's on you as a parent! You should have signed her up for some sport long time ago and since you didn't, give her some options to explore now! Exercising is a good lifetime habit to form for overall health, but you need to start in childhood and by example doing sports yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is wrong with you, OP?

Kinda this, op. I would want to know more about that one knock knee, if I were you. Has she been evaluated for scoliosis? Her knee turning inward will lead to pain for her. It could be shortened muscles and tight ligaments due to rapid growth or it could be related to scoliosis or other spine or hip condition. Get a different opinion from an orthopedist specializing in the spine/ scoliosis.

[Anonymous]

Look into Ehlers Danlos. She may need strength training to help with her coordination.

[Anonymous]

They had to get my daughter a different chair in 5th grade because she could not fit in the standard ones so I empathize where you may be coming from. Finding some physical activity she can reasonably do helps. For instance, DD got into rock climbing, hiking, and yoga. She went out for cross country and track and, quite frankly, it took a year plus for her to grow into her body but it happened. In 8th grade she started doing supervised weight training as part of indoor track, which also helped ensure complimentary muscles developed appropriately.

As long as she sees her height as a net positive and sees her body as capable and strong, there really isn't anything to worry about.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP you need to stop. 12 is an awkward age for most girls and having your Mom be weird about it is super unhealthy.

She is fine. She is on the taller side but who knows where she will end up. My 6'2" daughter was always a lot taller than the other kids and completely fine sitting in chairs. Guess what, she sat on the floor a lot too and is completely fine in college now. She has trouble buying pants becasue she isn't propotional. Legs for days and super short torso. We have figured it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into Ehlers Danlos. She may need strength training to help with her coordination.

+1. Yep, the hating sitting in chairs and always having legs up is me exactly and was a red flag in the OP. I have hypermobile hips due to hEDS and find sitting in chairs and with feet flat on the floor very physically uncomfortable. That plus the knock knee (which can be due to hypermobility) and clumsy are all very common signs of hypermobility. Does she seem "double jointed" or extra flexible in her hands and wrists, OP? This is a quick and easy test for hypermobility in joints (I had all of these as a teen, and have all still except where repeated injuries have stiffened the joint): https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/assessing-joint-hypermobility/

All of that to say, definitely ask specifically about hypermobility at her next appointment. That can cause injuries and other health issues (ahem, uterine prolapse) in the future. Otherwise, leave the poor girl alone. Tall girls are FABULOUS and she may have physical reasons why she's less athletic. She sounds like a great kid and perfectly normal developmentally.