DD almost 16 and dopamine/motivation etc.
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Anonymous
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DD is 16 in March. I am finding it difficult to parent her with certain behaviors because I do not want to say the wrong thing or create an ongoing or long-term issue. She seems to over-eat and focus on dessert and wants pasta all the time. She is tired a lot and doesn’t want to exercise. She seems to lack any motivation to improve herself. She’s on sertraline for OCD and generalized anxiety. The pediatrician said she’s at the 85th percentile for height and weight when we had a visit in October. She asks me “am I fat”. I don’t want to touch that question with a ten foot pole but I really wish she had motivation to exercise or put her clothes away etc. She does have all As and Bs which we are proud of. She’s also on birth control due to extremely awful cycles so I don’t think she’s anemic since she hasn’t had a cycle in over a year (which GYN said is normal).
I want to help her be the best she can be. She meets with a therapist and we tell her often how proud we are of her. I am trying to focus on energy and being healthy versus a number on a scale. Suggestions are appreciated. |
Anonymous
| I bet she has ADD that isn’t treated. |
Anonymous
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She sounds depressed and lethargic? Could that be a side effect of her medication? I think you're right that she's seeking dopamine hits with the carbs/desserts, but it's not her fault. She probably also feels judged, even if you are trying to hide the judgment from her.
I would think of ways that both she and you can reset, something you can do together that would provide the dopamine hits, doesn't even have to be a physical activity, just a way for both of you to connect. I would maybe also talk to the prescriber of the meds about possible effects. Though with teens it's always hard to separate the teen stuff from the meds stuff. |
Anonymous
| OP here. It could be a side effect. I will speak with the prescriber about that. Thank you. |
Anonymous
| You should take your time what’s the rush |
Anonymous
| My dd gained 30 lbs on sertraline and was very flat emotionally. She was taking it for anxiety but it really made her stop caring about anything. She had to wean off of it. |
Anonymous
totally agree with this. It is basically a dopamin disorder. |
Anonymous
| Get her off Sertraline. My DD had dead eyes and gained some weight on it. Put her on Wellbutrin or something else. Talk to the doctor |
Anonymous
| I would take her to a specialist gun and have her checked for endometriosis and PCOS. |
Anonymous
+2 |
Anonymous
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I think you really want to be thinner and you should either be honest about it or let it go.
There’s no magical framing that changes that. If she were thin, would you be blaming her fatigue on lack of exercise or pasta? I doubt it. The good news is, these are her problems and you probably aren’t that influential! The way you nag her may not matter much. So that’s good. |
Anonymous
| PCOS could be the culprit. Will be hard to diagnose at that age. Either way, be supportive by offering one of those high-end gym subscriptions. Like most teen girls, she probably idolizes luxury lifestyle....so engage by "gifting" a luxury gym membership to OrangeTheory or something else fancy. Also focus on strength vs weight. |
Anonymous
Yep. Sounds like that to me too. |
Anonymous
Wellbutrin helps with ADHD sometimes too… but if anxiety is present it may make that worse. Could add a stimulant to sertraline or just detox, get her eating right and exercising like crazy. Exercise was the main way I treated mine as a teen. It was inadvertent, but once I stopped I realized how much harder life was. |
Anonymous
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NP who also thinks Wellbutrin could help.
Also - there are some connections between ADHD, gut health, and ultra processed foods and empty carbs. I would put money on her gut being out of whack. |