13 yr old interests changing

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old has all of a sudden changed a lot. She used to be a goofy nerdy kid who cared about playing with stuffed animals, fantasy pretend stuff, ect and this school year (7th) that has all changed which is pretty normal. She's getting more into boys, tiktok, shopping, keeping up with older kids on sports teams ect and cares a lot about what all is trendy. Problem is we're at a small private and her friends have zero interest in whatever the latest trends are and are resenting her for it, and its causing a lot of drama.

My kid wants to go to all the basketball games and dances and would love it if her friends that she's had forever would go too but they have zero interest, and tell her "all she cares about is being cool" which makes her sad because my daughter doesn't seem to feel that way at all and I believe her. I've spoken to other parents and they've verified that my daughter is not being mean to their kids. Is this pretty normal or is my kid growing up too fast?

[Anonymous]

It's ideal to have different groups of friends at that age. She should meet her school friends where they are, and find other friends who like the things she likes.

One can have many friends. I talk to some friends about certain topics and other friends about other interests.

[Anonymous]

Maybe reduce/manage things like TikTok, that are designed to be addictive.

[Anonymous]

She needs to get off Tik Tok. I work at a place that hires HS kids - all the smart ones don't so social media, or barely use it.

[Anonymous]

Should also mention that my kids friends have a lot of natural intellect, and my kid does not but her grades are fine. Her friends are way top of the pack academically while she’s pretty middle of the road. She gets her work done fine but doesn’t like to do intellectual stuff for fun unlike her friends (and her younger brother for that matter)

[Anonymous]

DS drifted away from friends at different times as interest changed. He is more interested in D&D, math, board games and camping. He has friends he used to hang out with that are more into sports and wrestling and the like. They are friendly to each other and do fine when they are together but they don’t hang out on their own any more. It happens. we get along with the parents so the kids see each other and have a good time when they are together but they have different interests, thats ok.

It sounds like your kid needs to meet some other kids who share similar interests. Although, I would not let her use tiktok at 13, that could easily be problematic. Most 13 year old move on from playing fantasy and with stuffed animals and into other interests. For some that might turn into D&D, the playing fantasy, but I think most move into other general interests. Basketball games, football games, fashion and the like are pretty normal.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard when your kid’s friend group evolves and they don’t fit in one way or another but it’s SO normal. This is not something you should manage for her.

[Anonymous]

Have her try a variety of activities in and outside of school so she has numerous friend groups.

[Anonymous]

It’s completely normal for friends to change at this age. She’s not growing up too fast and everything she’s doing is fine and appropriate. Part of the issue is being at a smaller private.

If possible, she should try to branch out and make new friends with common interests while still being kind to her old friends.

My DD’s long time friend group completely dissolved in 7th grade and changed completely a couple times between 7th and 9th. It’s best to have friends in different groups with different interests.

[Anonymous]

I mean yiur dd has a right to change interests, but I'm more inclined to agree with her friends. Some of this is fine, but not the social media. Dd can't still do what her friends like?

[Anonymous]

So she’s not judging their interests, but they are judging hers? She should probably expand her social groups, she should try to keep her old friends but they may not like her making new friends unfortunately. 13 is a normal age for these kinds of shifts. It may continue to be drama no matter how well your kid handles it.

Small privates are terrible socially and always seem to be the culprit in this problem.

[Anonymous]

How's a small school the problem?

[Anonymous]

Stop allowing tiktok.

[Anonymous]

A 13 year old should not be on Tiktok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How's a small school the problem?

Not enough kids to make friends with.

MS is much better in a bigger school

Example my niece went to the Barnesville school in MD when there were only 15 girls in her grade. Queen bee girl decided she was on the outs, that meant no friends period. The girls were ruthless. Same can happen in a large public however in a larger school more groups.