Expectations of DC with avq IQ

[Anonymous]

What expectations do you have if your DC has average IQ but is surrounded by many presumably high IQ kids (local public). For something like homework is it something as simple as # of hours / completion? Being happy with a C (vs A or B). Is it realistic to push for anything more? (They have some LDs, low processing speed) and don’t necessarily think they are in the category of needing special school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What expectations do you have if your DC has average IQ but is surrounded by many presumably high IQ kids (local public). For something like homework is it something as simple as # of hours / completion? Being happy with a C (vs A or B). Is it realistic to push for anything more? (They have some LDs, low processing speed) and don’t necessarily think they are in the category of needing special school.

By definition, most of these kids have an average IQ. Also, IQ isn’t determinative.

[Anonymous]

Unless your kid has slow processing speed and/or low short/long term memory issues, they will be fine academically. But with an average IQ, they’re like most of the rest of us. Just plugging away. My DS was tested in HS for ADHD and had an IQ of 102. He’s in his last year of college with a 3.4 GPA.

[Anonymous]

I have a DC like this. It has not been easy surrounded by high-performing kids in our local public where everyone takes 8+ APs and scores 1400+ at least on the SAT. DC has run his own race. He does not have all the impressive academic achievements as his peers at school, but is a great kid with a smile on his face and a joy to be around. He will go to college next year. Not an impressive school, but I hope he will be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has slow processing speed and/or low short/long term memory issues, they will be fine academically. But with an average IQ, they’re like most of the rest of us. Just plugging away. My DS was tested in HS for ADHD and had an IQ of 102. He’s in his last year of college with a 3.4 GPA.

Also low processing speed but good memory and very high verbal. That sounds great about your DS! How was his h.s. experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a DC like this. It has not been easy surrounded by high-performing kids in our local public where everyone takes 8+ APs and scores 1400+ at least on the SAT. DC has run his own race. He does not have all the impressive academic achievements as his peers at school, but is a great kid with a smile on his face and a joy to be around. He will go to college next year. Not an impressive school, but I hope he will be happy.

That's great to be around and sounds a lot like my kid. Adding to the complexity is older sibling & many friends are like the example above. We keep stressing that college (in general) or a specific school isn't important.

[Anonymous]

B average is what I’d aim for. So expecting some Cs in hard classes but As in easy ones.

Also encourage them in what they are good at. Social skills, work ethic, street smarts - in many many jobs this matters a lot more than intelligence honestly. Be reasonable and consider their self esteem - bc confidence gets you a lot farther than IQ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What expectations do you have if your DC has average IQ but is surrounded by many presumably high IQ kids (local public). For something like homework is it something as simple as # of hours / completion? Being happy with a C (vs A or B). Is it realistic to push for anything more? (They have some LDs, low processing speed) and don’t necessarily think they are in the category of needing special school.

Move them to private asap

[Anonymous]

I have an adhd kid with low average processing speed. School work takes forever and they are always a b student inching toward A land. But they will do fine in life because they are curious and interested and work hard.

I have another child without these difficulties who is a b student and not inching toward anything because happy not to work hard. I worry a lot more about this one.

IQ doesn't mean a lot life trajectory wise. It can make things easier but can't out weigh other factors.

Also measuring IQ is imprecise especially if adhd and anxiety is involved.

[Anonymous]

My childhood friend was completely average academically. She got straight B’s, no AP classes, all through HS. She got a bachelors degree at one of our state schools and became a Pilates instructor and I think opened a studio with a friend. Perfectly happy and thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What expectations do you have if your DC has average IQ but is surrounded by many presumably high IQ kids (local public). For something like homework is it something as simple as # of hours / completion? Being happy with a C (vs A or B). Is it realistic to push for anything more? (They have some LDs, low processing speed) and don’t necessarily think they are in the category of needing special school.

Move them to private asap

I would worry that private school would be WORSE - much more competitive.

[Anonymous]

Most of the average B-C students I knew in my high SES competitive high school are doing great - they're not high powered lawyers, but they're also not living in trailer parks working at Walmart. They have normal middle class lives and are professionals and business owners.

[Anonymous]

I would think about whether they have enough support from an IEP for the LDs. Text-to-Speech and Speech to text? Reduced homework? Calculator accommodation for math? Can you get outside tutoring if the school isn't helping enough? The issue is the LDs rather than the average IQ and I think people are getting hung up on your title. We recently had IQ testing done, and extremely low processing speed dragged down the overall IQ score but was offset by strengths in other areas. So, average IQ doesnt tell you as much as what the high and low scores were in.

Public school wasn't helping enough, and we switched to a dyslexia private for MS and will stay through HS. DC has learned a ton and is so so much happier. If you can afford it, it's worth looking at.

[Anonymous]

Also, we look for and praise effort (and remembering to turn in homework).

[Anonymous]

I have a son with a serious learning disability that has a very high IQ and always scores better than 90%tile in testing every three years. I was so confused when this started in preschool. I couldn’t understand how he could read grades ahead of his age and math was always three years ahead. He doesn’t have adhd but executive functioning was non-existent. He could never learn to spell properly or put together sentences in elementary school but spoke like an adult with his adult words.

My daughter was tested extensively just because she was using the pencil incorrectly. She has an average IQ and was average with every subject.

Guess who has an easier time in school? Average IQ means you have the basis to learn. The only people who get their IQ tested is if there is a suspected problem. The majority of kids aren’t tested and have no idea what their IQ is. I think people make them up based on what they think it is.

If there is an option to get some assistance for her processing skills take it. The more help the better. Students in the highest level classes get extra help that they pay for all the time. The learning center is where kids with learning disabilities go for extra help and extra time on state testing and school testing. There can be a 40 point difference between IQs between these kids but they all have something causing them to need extra help.

But having an average IQ is a good place to start. After that what’s important is study skills, focus in class and willingness to work hard. Your child will do well and will have dozens of colleges to choose from. Don’t worry about that. Just keep her from missing classes and keep her assignments on schedule.