Want to accept new job offer, but concerned about timing

[Anonymous]

I started a new job a year ago and hate it. There is almost no work for me to do, and they want me to do Job B when I was hired for Job A. I’m beyond bored and irritated about being so misled in the hiring process.

I started looking recently and I’m fortunate to have two offers on the table. Both seem like a good fit (one is with a company I worked with previously/have a good relationship with). They’re almost fully remote, represent a $30-40K pay bump and a title bump.

On paper, it seems like a no brainer to accept one of these jobs. But I’m actively TTC and (assuming a January start) there’s a chance I wouldn’t hit a year in my new job before giving birth. Having a newborn and being unemployed sounds like a nightmare. FWIW, we could cover unpaid maternity leave, but my primary concern would be losing the job due to pregnancy/needing to take leave. I also feel like this is a bad look.

I’d really appreciate any insights - I don’t currently have children so this is new territory. I’m mid-30s and financially stable so don’t see much point in delaying aside from the job situation.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re being wise to think like this. As someone who didn’t look elsewhere when I had been at a company for a long time and was bored but was also about to try to get pregnant (and don’t regret it), I lean toward telling you to stay. TTC can happen right away or take a very long time, as you know and also be with costly intervention or without it - that’s the wierd thing. Also, job hunting has changed now in that it’s harder to get a new job. If your benefits are good at this place, I’d strongly recommend staying but only you can decide. Remember, though, something made you not only look elsewhere but go through the interview process.

[Anonymous]

Definitely take the new job! While different, I got pregnant after starting a new federal job after only a few months. I was so nervous to tell my boss but they were great. She was also a mom, and really three months out of an office is no big deal in the scheme of things. If your new boss is a parent, they’ll get it. If you’re super worried based on your interactions they’ll be stiff about it, it’s not a place for a working parent. Also, it could take forever to get pregnant - don’t put off your career for it.

[Anonymous]

Wait four months till after you start the job to try to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

"Wait four months till after you start the job to try to get pregnant."

Agree. Consider stopping then restart. If you love the job, go.

[Anonymous]

I am saying this with kindness and as much delicacy as an online message board allows without the benefit of tone and body languge.

In your mid 30s, the chances of you conceiving right away or even within months is increasingly slim, especially if you have been on chemical birth control for many years.

You might be actively trying to conceive, but it might take months or years for you to actually have a child, even with normal fertility.

I would not make this job decision based on an assumption that you will have a newborn in a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am saying this with kindness and as much delicacy as an online message board allows without the benefit of tone and body languge.

In your mid 30s, the chances of you conceiving right away or even within months is increasingly slim, especially if you have been on chemical birth control for many years.

You might be actively trying to conceive, but it might take months or years for you to actually have a child, even with normal fertility.

I would not make this job decision based on an assumption that you will have a newborn in a year.

OP here. Thank you and completely understand that. That is why I am sort of of the mindset to take the job, continue trying and on the off chance it’s immediate be grateful I was able to conceive quickly. At the end of the day this matters more to me than the job. Just a bit stressful.

[Anonymous]

Any day, you could get laid off at your current job. There's never an ideal time job-wise to have a baby. Just take the job.

[Anonymous]

It's a valid concern if you are giving up fmla rights by changing jobs now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely take the new job! While different, I got pregnant after starting a new federal job after only a few months. I was so nervous to tell my boss but they were great. She was also a mom, and really three months out of an office is no big deal in the scheme of things. If your new boss is a parent, they’ll get it. If you’re super worried based on your interactions they’ll be stiff about it, it’s not a place for a working parent. Also, it could take forever to get pregnant - don’t put off your career for it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a valid concern if you are giving up fmla rights by changing jobs now.

Except she has no work to do and thus the is at risk. She can still lose her job during FMLA. The current job sounds tenuous at best. Take the job OP! Knock it out of the park and they won’t even blink during your time off.

[Anonymous]

I would say take the job.

FWIW, where I work, if you told me you were pregnant a few months after starting, you would end up with 12 weeks unpaid leave. It’s just different paperwork than FMLA.

[Anonymous]

Take the job! Carpe diem!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say take the job.

FWIW, where I work, if you told me you were pregnant a few months after starting, you would end up with 12 weeks unpaid leave. It’s just different paperwork than FMLA.

This. Especially if it’s a $30-40K pay bump.

[Anonymous]

Take the job for that kind of flexibility and a pay bump. You’ll figure out the baby when it comes. Meanwhile, being nearly fully-remote and having significantly more money will help you when you’re a new mom.