Divorce & long term care/medical issues
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Anonymous
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The dementia thread in the Family forum has me thinking. DC is a teenager. ExDH has a family history of early dementia and is showing signs of cognitive decline and memory loss.
How do people protect their minor children from a situation like this? So far it does not seem to be affecting DC’s safety but it could soon. And how do I protect DC when they are no longer a minor? ExDH has estranged himself from family and has no local friends, so I expect that DC will be the first and only one to encounter exDH’s issues if and when dementia starts. Do they have an obligation to take care of their father? |
Anonymous
| DC might feel an obligation or simply want to. It's not for you to control. You're talking about their FATHER for Christ's sake. |
Anonymous
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A legal obligation? No. A moral obligation? Possibly, depending on your beliefs, but I'd go with "no" there, too.
If exDH estranged himself, welp, that answers that. Not everyone can cut ties with blood relatives that way, but it kinda seems like exDH took care of it for you/DC. Just stay estranged. You might want to make sure that DC is listed as the sole beneficiary on any accounts you may have, though I'd assume a lot of that was covered in the divorce |
Anonymous
Not all biological parents act like actual parents. If a parent opts out of a child's life, the child isn't responsible for mending that rift. |
Anonymous
| Zero obligation as his ex wife OP. |
Anonymous
Some states have filial responsibility laws and there could be a legal obligation. Virginia is one of them. https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title20/chapter5/section20-88/#:~:text=It%20shall%20be%20the%20joint,being%20then%20and%20there%20in |
Anonymous
| You may need some counseling, this may get complicated. It is his child, they may be an adult by the time they experience anything. My niece who is a college senior has to take care of her mother who is bed bound several times a year. I feel terrible for my niece but she is smart and caring and compassionate. |
Anonymous
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Actually, 26 states have filial laws, apparently.
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Anonymous
But they aren't generally enforced. |
Anonymous
Unless you're in Pennsylvania or the Dakotas, you're probably fine. No other state has recently enforced these laws, and several (MD included) have repealed them). Even in the states that do, parental abandonment or misconduct is an exception, and the laws wouldn't be enforced if the child could show it would be damaging to their own financial well-being. So while it's technically possible, it's highly unlikely. |
Anonymous
| I would be more worried about DC inheriting that. |
Anonymous
| You don't have to care for your ex. But you do have to support your child in living with this and maybe ultimately becoming a caregiver at a young age. So be flexible, be understanding, be emotionally supportive. Your child is going to go through something HARD that would have been your job but you chose to opt out. |
Anonymous
You're just an @$$hole You have no idea of the circumstances. What makes you so confident as to phrase it the way you did. NP |
Anonymous
| Try to be sensitive to your DC's struggles. If your DC spent winter break calling all the ERs and shelters and police stations trying to find his missing father, don't be like "Well, I had such a fun time in Italy with my new boyfriend!!!!" Understand that this is going to potentially be really, really hard. Like having to go identify a body hard. |
Anonymous
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Yes,
He is their father. Do you want to be taken care of if you were in the same situation by your children? |