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My grandson does not speak words. He babbles and gestures - he understand what is said to him -- but he has no words. I mentioned to my son and DIL that they could look into early intervention services for an evaluation. My sense is that my grandson could be just a late talker. I babysit several times a week -- for usually 5-6 hours. So I spend plenty of time with him. My DIL is a stay at home mom. She is - in every way - a wonderful loving mother. My grandson is a happy healthy child.
But now my DIL is upset with me -- because every child develops at their own rate. My son says they will bring it up to the pediatrician at the 18 month old check up. (The pediatrician said at the last appt -- if he doesn't have any words at the 18 month appt she will give a referral for a speech therapist.) So I don't think I can do or say anything that will take away her hurt. Anybody been here? With a child that doesn't have words or a hurt DIL??? |
| “I am so sorry. Of course, kids develop in their own time. I just had a nervous grandma moment, but I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Larlo is an amazing kid. And of course you guys are on top of it - you are such a wonderful mother.” |
| My son was a very late talker too … around 18 months. Then he picked up very fast and would talk non stop .Some boys may talk are little later, nothing to worry about. |
| No experience but I hope the baby is tested for hearing issues too. Can he hear soft sounds behind his back? |
| Some babbling counts as words, like “uh oh,” and animal sounds. Since his receptive language is good and he’s gesturing and babbling, he’s definitely trying to communicate. I wouldn’t be concerned just yet, but if his parents don’t see real progress in the next few months, it’s probably a good idea to have him seen by Early Intervention. In the future, I’d avoid expressing any concerns until he has actually missed a milestone. A lot of kids have a sudden explosion in language development. |
| Hi grandma. You sound like you have your grandchild's best interest at heart and like a great MIL/grandma. I don't think you overstepped. You spend a lot of time with him and observed something concerning. Is it possible she is also worried about this or kind of in denial that this is a real issue she needs to deal with and thus sensitive? Truly having no words at 18 months is concerning. My child has a language disorder so I have been down this road. Wishing him the best. |
| They were aware and already had communication with their doctor about it and knew a follow-up would happen in a few weeks. Have you brought it up before? Did you think they were unaware? |
This is the answer My kid had no words at that age and speech exploded shortly after. We did do early intervention, but a one month delay in that would not have changed anything. Fwiw, my mom pushed us to get help for a different issue later on, and I am glad I listened to her. You've done nothing wrong but this is a sensitive topic for many parents. It is a tough situation to navigate. |
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Definitely needs talk to the pediatrician. He will need to see some specialists and potentially have his hearing tested. Earlier intervention is better.
For right now for free (this is in no way whatsoever a substitute for professional assessment): have your son and DIL watch some Ms. Rachel. She basically demos how speech therapists talk to children: lots of repetition, clear and slow speech, showing kids the shape of her mouth. Start talking to him like Ms. Rachel talks to the kids. Having a running commentary of what you're doing to the kid to really reinforce speech. Just keep talking to him. My mom was a speech therapist and she pushed parents to just constantly talk to kids about everything. |
Yes and you are absolutely correct about early intervention. It could be the difference between functioning autism and a nonverbal permanent dependence on help in a severe case. Hopefully it’s nothing. |
| Do you think that having the TV on all the time as background noise slows a child's language development? |
No. |
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Some kids will talk late on their own and some will have an actual speech delay. The pediatrician seems to be aware of the issue. In many places the parents can contact the county early intervention services directly, without referrals.
Constant narration is not the best approach for all kids. |
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If this conversation took place as you describe it-I would assume that DIL may be a bit defensive or scared at the possibility of an issue with her ds. I'm the mother of a child who had delayed speech (for us, it was actually related to another dx we eventually got) and while I was proactive in getting intervention, it was still a scary thing (appointments, testing, evaluations...it's a lot).
Also as a mom of this dc-people tended to say a LOT of unsolicited 'advice' and stuff. I'm not saying YOU did-but sometimes it was just overwhelming. Since your DS said that the pediatrician is on it and they're seeing them soon, it sounds like they are doing all the things necessary at this time. I would just try to be supportive through it and be supportive of whatever interventions they may end up doing (like speech or whatever). |