Taking 5 days off in 8th Grade AAP?

Anonymous
Hi,

So we have an international family wedding in a few months. They have Monday and Tuesday off as holidays tgag week so he would need to take wed-Friday off and then we couldn’t fly back until Monday. It’s in Asia so across the world. Which means he would go right back to school on Tuesday after a day and night time difference.

He really doesn’t want to miss 4-5 days of school as he feels he gets behind even with 1-2 days. And he wouldn’t have any real recovery time before going back to school after flying back…

Has anyone done this before? We are thinking that it’s too much for a week anyways, and maybe better for just one parent to go alone instead of with kids.

But is 4-5 days too much in AAP?
Anonymous
My daughter (who is smart but not the most academically inclined and has terrible executive functioning skills) had to miss a week this year because of illness. She is also in 8th grade AAP. It was totally fine.. no issues. I think math was the biggest challenge in terms of getting caught up but even that was fine.
Anonymous
I would not take my kid out of school for 5 days, regardless of how well he was doing.
Anonymous
Honestly, for such a quick turnaround trip, I’d leave the child home, either with one parent or is there a close friend they could stay with? It doesn’t sound like kid wants to go.
Anonymous
This would have stressed my kid out. It’s too much, but if their grades don’t depend on next level it probably doesn’t matter.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I would not take my kid out of school for 5 days, regardless of how well he was doing.


Let me modify my response a bit. I would pull them for a funeral or something along those lines. I would pull them for a wedding if they were missing a day or two but not 5 days.

DS took a day off to fly out for my mother's funeral. He and DH missed a few events that were planned at the last second but was there for the actual celebration of life. He had some tests and things due that Thursday and we didn't want to disrupt that. But that was in California which was not a short flight but not a flight to a country with multiple time zone changes.

I would let him stay home. It is disappointing but that is an unfortunate consequence of living far away from family. I grew up across the country from my cousins and Aunts and Uncles. We saw them once every year but those where long trips over summer vacation or winter break.
Anonymous
Middle school is the last time it would be reasonable to take your child out of school for a week. It gets too hard in high school. Work with the teachers ahead of time (especially if your child is in any high school level classes). I would have your son miss that Tuesday as well as he will be too tired to focus on school. A lot of kids get sick and miss a week of school and are able to catch up. Enjoy your family trip!
Anonymous
Plan better. You knew when the dates were off for the school year.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hi,

So we have an international family wedding in a few months. They have Monday and Tuesday off as holidays tgag week so he would need to take wed-Friday off and then we couldn’t fly back until Monday. It’s in Asia so across the world. Which means he would go right back to school on Tuesday after a day and night time difference.

He really doesn’t want to miss 4-5 days of school as he feels he gets behind even with 1-2 days. And he wouldn’t have any real recovery time before going back to school after flying back…

Has anyone done this before? We are thinking that it’s too much for a week anyways, and maybe better for just one parent to go alone instead of with kids.

But is 4-5 days too much in AAP?


You are right that it is too much. I am sure you are disappointed but it sounds exhausting and stressful for your child.
Anonymous
International family wedding is worth it. My oldest HATES to miss school, but I think I would do this trip anyway. How many classes are high school grades anyway, math and language? No other grades matter…
I usually roll my eyes at families who take their kids out of school for vacation, but this is a special event. I think even the teachers would be understanding.
Anonymous
Even your kid is telling you ‘no’. Just say, ‘no’, Op. Your kid will be stressed and it will be unenjoyable. What will your kid get out of this? They aren’t even close to these relatives, you are.
Anonymous
Other than the high school level classes (usually language and math), the grades in 8th grade don't matter in high school or college.

This is literally the last year where that will be true. Focus on those high school level classes in terms of getting ahead on work and catching up when they get home, but then go. Travel with your kid while you have the chance.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Plan better. You knew when the dates were off for the school year.


Do you think the bride and groom should have scheduled their wedding based on op’s child’s middle school schedule?
Anonymous
What holiday is it around? Is that Memorial Day? Any chance he could fly back earlier with one parent to not miss that Monday school day?
Anonymous
Around Presidents’ Day. And honestly, the math class (geometry) is where he is truly struggling this year and not doing well. So I think that’s why he does not want to leave. 3 geometry classes is too much to miss. I will probably just have my spouse go. Not to add in the exhaustion and jet lag of an 18 hour flight. Too much…
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