What has worked for supporting neurodiverse college students?
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Anonymous
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This board has helped me so much over the years. Now I am hoping to get some ideas for supporting my DD as she moves into adulthood, currently college.
We expected the 1st year to be a bit bumpy, and it has been. She got her accommodations sorted, started using the writing center and tutoring a little too late etc. Maintaining awareness of spending is a challenge, but improving. I see myself in more of a consultant/ coach role now. But I feel like I don’t know how to keep up with good tools, strategies to have ideas when she asks for help. Her university has some nice note taking and other tech that she is learning to use. I am working hard to manage my own anxiety as the stakes feel so much higher now. And I need to trust that she’ll figure this out. What has your support for college-aged kids looked like? And how are you staying on top of good suggestions? |
Anonymous
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I have 2 with challenges. One is in a program through her university that includes weekly check-ins for executive functioning support that has been very helpful. They create calendars, determine what support she needs, and clarifies where/how to get the support. The counselor even noticed that her anxiety was up and had her meet with a school therapist. I couldn't ask for more (this is a paid program that is through the school- so not free, but in my opinion well worth it as her transition has been so smooth).
Second is at a more traditional school. He qualified for accommodations, but he is on his own when it comes to figuring everything out. It has been a lot bumpier. I think I am going to try to find an executive functioning coach to help him weekly in the same way my daughter is getting help. He needs to learn how to pace things- especially big assignments and studying for midterms/finals. |
Anonymous
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The note taking tech is wonky for my daughter. I have seen it. It picks up random conversations and of course every "um" or sneeze or anything from the professor. It also does "speaker 1" "speaker 2" and you have to figure out which is professor or student when they just have a class discussion. It can't decipher voices so sometimes the professor is speaker one and then speaker 3.
The emails are overwhelming and can have vital info like change in classroom for a seminar class, clarification of an assignment or even switch to Zoom class because professor can't make it in. We have DD check first thing in the morning, at lunch and before bed at a minimum. There may be professors who say they can't do certain accommodations or who sign the form and don't follow through. It's terrifying for DD to advocate. We help her to do it using email to make sure she is respectful and polite. There have been some things she needed to let go. Better to spend the time preparing for class than meeting with the disability office to get a professor to bend. Lecture halls are tough for her-too many students and sitractions. Hard to focus. |
Anonymous
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For my kid (dyslexia and mild ADHD) it’s been great socially/life adjustment but academically challenging. He plays a sport, the only reason he is motivated on a day to day basis to get his academic work done, and everyone is nervous he won’t maintain the required GPA and he’ll not be able to play…which would be catastrophic for him emotionally.
He of course refuses our help, though he does keep in decent communication about his challenges so we can at least be a sounding board. He refuses tech, accommodations, or to sign up with the disability office. What I’ve found helpful (kinda) is a tool for me - reminding myself that he is responsible for his own life, that it is disrespectful of him to feel his emotions for him, and to get on with living/feeling my own life. He IS my life and has been for 19 years, so that is a big ask…but it does help a little bit. That and reminding myself to believe in him. Not that he won’t screw up - he IS screwing up - but that he’ll eventually be okay. He can handle it, whatever “it” is. Reminding myself of these things 10 times a day brings my own anxiety down some. |
Anonymous
| I know this is not helpful to the current situation, but this is for families who might have younger kids that are reading this. We found it really helpful for our DD to take some Dual Enrollment classes during HS. Whether during the school year or summer, they introduce kids to greater academic independence and responsibility while still in the structure of being at home. |
Anonymous
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I would recommend 2 Instagram accounts:
@ld_advisory and @jgtalksorg |
Anonymous
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What worked best supporting my neuro-diverse student was to check in once a week in a positive way without micro-managing grades. This gave the space to my kid to tell me when he was having problems. In college, I tried to normalize having problems - many people fail classes or have a tough semester for one reason or another and still graduate. I told him about other family members who had trouble in college and turned out to be successful humans, which was helpful.
My role is to be positive and support and help him problem solve, encourage him to keep trying and let him know that he is not in trouble and I do not think less of him if he does poorly in a class. In the end, he did have some poor grades -- very sick one semester, trouble with some classes another semester, etc. But, he found something he likes and figured out how to do well at it and will graduate next year. I really think kids in college need space to mess up and recover, because that is what happens in life. |
Anonymous
Would you be willing to share which school your first one is at? Does anyone know a list of schools that provide supports like that? |
Anonymous
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OP here- thanks everyone for sharing. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.
You have given me a lot to think about. |
Anonymous
| Please share the name of the universities. Thank you! |
Anonymous
| Our ADHD student had an EF coach throughout HS, and they kept using her through college. No nagging/micro-managing/frustration for me, and the EF coach helps keep them on task with managing thine and getting things done |
Anonymous
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OP you may want to ask everyone to identify the form of neurodiversity. One of mine (not in college) has mild ADHD and the other has HFA with mild ADHD. Their needs are vastly different. Our daughter with HFA needs small classes, clubs that she would be willing to join, lots of contact with us, etc.
I believe our son with ADHD could plop himself down anywhere and be happy and social. I suspect could manage any size classes, BUT he will need us to check in and make sure he is using all his strategies. We have already discussed with him scaffolding-having him let us access his grades his first year on whatever platform they use to post grades as they come in and other things we will do to check and as he shows he is responsible we will step back. We've tried an executive functioning coach, but I am more effective and we save a fortune. |
Anonymous
I have a friend with a student who could really use this program. Which school is it? |
Anonymous
| Check out McDaniel college. |
Anonymous
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NP, but I think the program being described is Arizona's SALT program. It works for students who can handle a large university with support. From everything that I have heard, it is a fantastic program. Though, it could be a lot of programs, but that is the one that it sounds like to me.
McDaniel is a great suggestion for those in Maryland. |