Wanting to stay home in the evenings

[Anonymous]

Not really sure if this is a menopause issue, but since I'm in my late 50s I thought I'd put it here. I just don't ever feel like going out at night anymore. The idea of having to put on something instead of comfy jeans, freshen my makeup, gather my energy for socialization, stay up late, etc. just all feels exhausting. I'd much rather stay home and read or watch something fun with my DH. I'm in a couple of social groups that meet at night, and it always takes a lot to get me to go. I usually have fun once I go, but it's the anticipation that's tough. Add in the fact that I often wake around 5:30 am for no apparent reason. Can't wait till all my friends are retired and we start getting together during the day.

Just me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really sure if this is a menopause issue, but since I'm in my late 50s I thought I'd put it here. I just don't ever feel like going out at night anymore. The idea of having to put on something instead of comfy jeans, freshen my makeup, gather my energy for socialization, stay up late, etc. just all feels exhausting. I'd much rather stay home and read or watch something fun with my DH. I'm in a couple of social groups that meet at night, and it always takes a lot to get me to go. I usually have fun once I go, but it's the anticipation that's tough. Add in the fact that I often wake around 5:30 am for no apparent reason. Can't wait till all my friends are retired and we start getting together during the day.

Just me?

Same age and I agree!

[Anonymous]

I have been staying home from gatherings because I am so grumpy that I'm worried that I'll get ticked off, make a social faux pas, and ruin a relationship.

Just me?

[Anonymous]

Agree. Especially this time of year.

[Anonymous]

Same!!!

[Anonymous]

Same

[Anonymous]

Same for me!

[Anonymous]

Same!!!

[Anonymous]

I’ve felt this way since late 30s!

[Anonymous]

I am an early to bed girl, so the late night (after 7 PM) meet ups kill me too. To get me over the hump, I usually have a cup of coffee/tea around 4PM. It works.

[Anonymous]

OP here. So glad to hear from you all. Thought it was just me because so many of my friends show up bright eyed and bushy tailed to these gatherings. I do catch a few yawns from some of them around 9 pm, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So glad to hear from you all. Thought it was just me because so many of my friends show up bright eyed and bushy tailed to these gatherings. I do catch a few yawns from some of them around 9 pm, though.

Some of my friends who are always eager to get together in the evenings don’t have great marriages. So they are looking for reasons to be out instead of home.

Lots of us spent many evenings juggling kid activities. Now that we are empty nesters we enjoy quiet evenings home with our spouse. I don’t mind meeting friends occasionally but not nearly at the same frequency as I used to be out and about during the week.

[Anonymous]

Haha, some of us felt that way at 25.

[Anonymous]

Going out at 5:30 or 8:40.

I’m fine with 5:30 but 8:30 no thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha, some of us felt that way at 25.

Yup. I had an unpleasant home life as a kid, and going away from the house was a welcome escape. And it was fun to go out in college and grad school. As soon as I had a nice cozy place of my own with my now DH, I became a complete homebody. I’ve had to force myself to go out in the evenings for over two decades now.

I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad instinct, so long as you do bite the bullet and get out there to be social. Or host—even better!