Four year old night wakings

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old has slept through the night consistently since she was 8 weeks old. Before about a month ago I could count on one hand the number of times that she's woken us up in the night over the past four years - all when she was really sick.

About a month ago, she cried out for us in the night. She didn't seem particularly upset, but said she had a scary dream. After a few back-and-forths, I slept on the floor next to her bed (what we do when she or one of the other kids is really sick).

For the next week or two, she cried out to us 1-3 times in the night most nights. She's always fully awake/conversational, she never seems super scared or freaked out, never crying. What she says is all over the map. Sometimes that she's scared or had a scary dream, sometimes that she can't find her stuffy (it's always right there), sometimes because she wants a hug, once to tell my husband she liked his shirt. We try to solve the issue, give her a snuggle, and get out of there ASAP. We've ended up on her floor a couple more times.

During some daytime conversations about it, she said she's scared of the dark. The room has a red nightlight, so it's not pitch black, but we turned on a closet light with the door open a few inches. That seemed to really help. Instead of most nights, over the past two weeks, it's turned into about twice a week (though once she calls out to us, it's often 2 or 3 times that night).

She has recently become a big sister (baby is 8 months) and has just in general become clingier - the baby transition was smooth when he was a newborn, but I think the permanence has settled in and she wants more attention (we're trying!!). Also in June her best best friend moved away - she's just been going through a hard time I think.

I feel for her, and want to help her, but this is really unsustainable - getting up in the night absolutely exhausts me and my husband, and she's much more tired the next day, and she shares a room with her older brother (6) who is also getting woken up. Do I just keep riding this out? How would you handle? Any tips? Her older brother was a terror with sleep as an infant, but we haven't run into anything like this with a big kid before.

[Anonymous]

I’d offer a treat in the morning for not waking you. My 4yo will do just about anything for a chocolate chip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d offer a treat in the morning for not waking you. My 4yo will do just about anything for a chocolate chip.

OP here. This is really interesting. I guess I've been so worried that she's just in an emotionally tumultuous place that I hadn't considered essentially treating this like a behavior issue. Thanks for this.

[Anonymous]

OP back with an update. Chocolate chip poster, you have saved us. Worked like a charm. Thank you so much!