How should I invite my mom to Thanksgiving?

[Anonymous]

I may be overthinking, but can I run this by you?

A few weeks ago my mom did something and it caused an orthopedic injury, she thinks. She’s finally getting in to see the specialist today to get a formal diagnosis. Because of this, we didn’t make any Thanksgiving plans. DHs family fell through this year, so we are flying solo, just our nuclear family, and having a beef tenderloin instead. My mom’s injury is painful but hasn’t prevented her doing things outside of the house in brief increments, but she hasn’t wanted company in her home; claims she’s not up to hosting.

I’m overthinking how and when to invite her to our dinner. I don’t want to exclude her, but I also don’t want her to feel obligated. It also feels weird inviting her when she’s not feeling well, like we should be going to her, even though she doesn’t want to host, so I don’t know why I feel this way.

She sees the doctor today, so I won’t burden her with “you’re invited Thursday” today. But what about tomorrow? How should I bring it up without being insensitive or seeming unconcerned with her situation?

[Anonymous]

Mom, if you are up for it, we’d m or to have you, but please don’t feel pressure, if you aren’t we totally understand.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely invite. Mom, if you are up to it, please join us Thursday..though we understand if not. I am not sure how far she is but you could offer her a ride. Also offer her a plate or some packed leftovers if she can not make it.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you think your mom is faking it and are testing this by not inviting her to see if she'll cave? If she comes then she's not really injured and just wants to get out of hosting?

[Anonymous]

What?

This is so weird. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. She’s your mom just invite her. Tell her if she’s up for it you would love to see her. I can’t believe I’m giving advice to adults over how to invite their own mother to their own homes for a meal. How do you survive life?

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. It just felt insensitive to be like, “I know you’re feeling poorly, but drive to our house for dinner!” At the same time, she hasn’t asked us over (nor were we expecting that) so I suppose including her in our dinner makes sense. I just wanted to be sure.

[Anonymous]

Just extend the invite.

[Anonymous]

“If you’re up for coming over to our non-traditional meal, Jim would be happy to come get you at 11 or so. Or, if you would like, we can eat early, and then I can bring you a plate and we can chat together and I can help you with anything you need around the house.”

[Anonymous]

You are reeeeeely weird, OP.
Ask her over. Offer a ride if she's not up to driving.
Offer a plate or goody pack delivered if she's not up to spending several hours with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What?

This is so weird. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. She’s your mom just invite her. Tell her if she’s up for it you would love to see her. I can’t believe I’m giving advice to adults over how to invite their own mother to their own homes for a meal. How do you survive life?

Right. It's your mom. Just invite her. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

You are inviting her the day before Thanksgiving? I think it'd be nice if you offered to pick her up or send an Uber so she doesn't have to drive.

[Anonymous]

What was she originally going to do for Thanksgiving? Just be alone????

Invite her!

[Anonymous]

What a weird standoffish family.

[Anonymous]

Just send her some food and say we didn’t want to burden you because of your injury. Unless of course you want her there which I think you don’t.

[Anonymous]

She's probably posting somewhere "I Injured myself and really don't feel like hosting this year. My daughter and her family haven't even invited me for Thanksgiving. Should I just pretend I don't notice, and spend thanksgiving alone?"