How much is too many times to move a kid

[Anonymous]

I need a gut check. I have a 2nd grader who did PreK, K and 1st at a private school that ended up not being a good fit. We made a local-ish move and moved this child to public school, and its going great. He loves school, has friends and especially loves the neighborhood of the house we are only renting. Our plan was only to rent for this year and then to move again closer to my husband's work, but I now feel a lot of guilt about moving DC again when they are so happy. I didn't move once as a kid but I know others do and survive/thrive. Ugh...

[Anonymous]

At that age it’s fine. We moved houses and or schools during preschool 3 times, moved in K and moved again in 3rd. We may move again during middle school. It’s fine.

[Anonymous]

My parents moved twice when I was a kid (3rd grade and seventh) and I found it too much. It meant I didn't have good friends as a kid and that sucked. I'm not deeply resentful or anything but it's not a choice I've made for my own family.

[Anonymous]

Those who are answering as parents will say it's fine and those who were moved as children will say it's not.

I don't think it's a matter of how many times or what age. It's that you have a very good situation now and found stability after a rocky start. You'd have to have very good reasons to move in that case. You might have to anyway, since you're renting, but you could stay in this neighborhood. You have to weigh DC's school situation against how bad your husband's commute is for the family.

[Anonymous]

I moved twice as a child.

K-6 in California.

Started 7th grade in MoCo. My dad and I were miserable. Mom and sister liked it (sister in K at Dufief). I had a bad experience at Frost and was happy to move early in 8th grade when my dad got a new job.

We moved to Pittsburgh. Within a month I was happy at school again. It was a good experience.

From this I conclude that school vibes matter a lot. For my own kids, I considered moving them. But Covid happened at the critical time and prevented it. So my two will go K-12 in the same non-DMV district.

I left DMV to raise kids. The cost of living was too high for the kind of life I wanted.

[Anonymous]

That is a bit much and I wonder why you ever thought that renting for a year in a new school district then moving again was a good idea. I moved to a different country in Europe every 4-5 years as a child, due to my father's work. Every time I had to learn a new language, new customs, etc. It couldn't be helped, because it was part of my father's profession. It sounds like you didn't think how your plans would affect your child, and that's reprehensible.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s number of times, I think it’s age that makes the difference. I stayed in one place during my childhood and moved twice (across country) as a teenager. It was terrible. My younger sister adapted much easier bring in elementary school both moves.

[Anonymous]

I went to 6 different elementary schools. It was a lot, but I'm fine. The upside is that that as an adult I'm unusually good at making friends wherever I go.

That said, it gets harder to move the older you get (moving in fifth was awful), so if you feel you need to do it, do it ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Military kids move every 3-4 years typically. They turn out fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At that age it’s fine. We moved houses and or schools during preschool 3 times, moved in K and moved again in 3rd. We may move again during middle school. It’s fine.

As someone who moved around as a kid, respectfully, you have no idea whether your child is ‘fine.’ It’s not up to you to decide that.

[Anonymous]

I went to 4 elementary schools in 3 states. I’m fine. It was harder on my older sibling who had to move while in middle school.

[Anonymous]

A former neighbor’s child had to move due to dad’s job promotion every 1-2 years, couldn’t fit into school and had serious problem socially and academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Military kids move every 3-4 years typically. They turn out fine.

No, they often don't. They do also tend to move within a community where that's the norm, which is different.

--former military brat

[Anonymous]

My mother never moved until university. I moved at age 2 to a new country, then six more times (always new countries) between then and college. She thought it was great. Me, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents moved twice when I was a kid (3rd grade and seventh) and I found it too much. It meant I didn't have good friends as a kid and that sucked. I'm not deeply resentful or anything but it's not a choice I've made for my own family.

Moving in 7th isn’t the reason you didn’t have good friends as a kid. Many people move then or later and still make good friends.