Scared about College

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else's teen scared about going to college? My teen is 13 (almost 14) and really nervous about college. She says she wants to go to a college near us so she can still live with us and be close to us at all times, I found her googling things like "is college similar to high school" and "what colleges are the most like high school" and she seems generally unhappy about that fact that she will be an adult in 4 years.

[Anonymous]

She'll change! She's only 13. There is a huge difference between 13 and 18.

[Anonymous]

I’d tell her to get off the internet and focus on the present moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell her to get off the internet and focus on the present moment.

Yes, I agree that screen time isn't a good solution. She either focuses on the past (Oh I wish I were back in 7th or 8th grade where everything was so easy or elementary school where we still got treated like kids) or she focuses on the future (Mom i'm gonna live with you and dad no matter what ok?! OR I don't want to be an adult yet, I'm not ready)

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of kids go through this phase where they think they’ll want to live at home or close. She will get ready when the time comes. Keep reassuring her that it’s a long way off, and your family will make sure she goes wherever is the best fit and she is most comfortable when the time comes. In other words, take away the feeling that she’s going to be shoved out of the nest. Right now she can’t imagine being able to handle it. (Because at 13, she can’t!) If you have the chance to visit some campuses in a super casual way, like maybe going to a concert or a play on a campus, she can dip her toe in seeing what it feels like. And keep reassuring her that college is much better than high school, and tell her why!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of kids go through this phase where they think they’ll want to live at home or close. She will get ready when the time comes. Keep reassuring her that it’s a long way off, and your family will make sure she goes wherever is the best fit and she is most comfortable when the time comes. In other words, take away the feeling that she’s going to be shoved out of the nest. Right now she can’t imagine being able to handle it. (Because at 13, she can’t!) If you have the chance to visit some campuses in a super casual way, like maybe going to a concert or a play on a campus, she can dip her toe in seeing what it feels like. And keep reassuring her that college is much better than high school, and tell her why!

I will definitely keep reassuring her. She is turning 14 in 2 days and is definitely stressed because it means only 3 more years till she graduates (she is graduating high school at 17) and 4 more years until she cant be a child anymore and has to be an adult. I am kind of confused on why becoming an adult is such a big deal for her and why she keeps wanting to stay a kid because she wears makeup, goes to bed late and takes the bus to school and back after sports (so in the dark). She doesn't act babyish or like a little kid yet it seems like she wishes she still were.

[Anonymous]

Maybe help her see that getting older isn't just a sudden transition to adulthood. Youth is described as 16-24, and young adutlhood is the period of transition from dependent to independent. While there are some legal aspects to turning 18, it is just another birthday. She will still be a teenager. There are lots of youth forums and youth events where you mix and mingle with the 16-24 crowd who are all in a similar transition period.

[Anonymous]

Also she went from childhood at 12 to an adolescent at 13 - was it really a big jump? It is just transitioning through life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell her to get off the internet and focus on the present moment.

The internet is used to find information and that was what she was doing. It’s not unusual to worry about the future. She just needs reminding that she’s got a long time to mature and she can see how she feels in a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell her she doesn't need to worry about that now - it can be dealt with literally years from now. And then I'd keep telling her that and only that any time she brings it up.

[Anonymous]

Been there OP although my child was younger. I simply said he could attend school X (local to us college) and he said, “Okay, mummy”. She is young, don’t give this conversation legs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been there OP although my child was younger. I simply said he could attend school X (local to us college) and he said, “Okay, mummy”. She is young, don’t give this conversation legs.

+1 This is the answer. Don't dwell on it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else's teen scared about going to college? My teen is 13 (almost 14) and really nervous about college. She says she wants to go to a college near us so she can still live with us and be close to us at all times, I found her googling things like "is college similar to high school" and "what colleges are the most like high school" and she seems generally unhappy about that fact that she will be an adult in 4 years.

I mean I am 43 and still unhappy aboit being an adult 😉

[Anonymous]

Find out who is poisoninghe remind with worries about the future.

Then watch Mad Mad Fury Road with her to get her ready for the future

[Anonymous]

It will change. For my son, it would have been nice if it had flipped a little sooner. He was terrified of college well into junior year, and it was very difficult to have any sort of conversation with him about prospective colleges. He finally turned the corner spring of Junior year and applied ED1 at a college 3 hours away.