Looking for guidance/resources re:adoption-international or local

[Anonymous]

We are parents of a child with SN and the bio clock is ticking. I finally have come to terms with the fact I cannot emotionally handle going through another pregnancy. My pregnancy was a living hell in many ways due to endless bedrest and complications and then my child's prolonged NICU stay. I don't have the luxury of a difficult pregnancy again because my child needs me and I fear things would go down hill and likely regress considerably with him if I was as exhausted and ill as I was with that pregnancy, let alone if I ended up hospitalized on bedrest. I also am afraid I will consumed with worry about having another child with SN that could even be more significant than the firsts and how we would provide financially and emotionally and physically everything both children needed to thrive. I know the process is long and we are not looking to adopt anytime soon. In fact, I don't know if my husband will every be willing so we are just gathering information. If our child is functioning well in a few years we will get more serious if DH comes around, but of course we will be in our 40s (he already is) and I know that rules out some options. I am looking for the scoop on adoptions in/from various areas. I would consider foster care, but from what I understood the likelyhood of adopting a child from fostercare is low and the hearbreak of losing a child we love would be too painful. Thank you for any help you can give us.

[Anonymous]

If you are thinking about international adoption, I would suggest looking at the website creatingafamily.com. Also, you can look at the Department of State website, which can give you the most up-to-date information about what countries are open, which agencies work in each country and problems that are occuring with adoption from that country. Once you narrow down your countries of interest, if that is the route you choose, I would suggest joining a yahoo group on that country - just search by country name and "adoption" and you should come up with one. Also, consider joining the yahoo group Adoption Agency Research so you can learn the good, the bad and the ugly about the different agencies.

One thing you should know is that international adoption can take years - 2-3 is pretty typical and sometimes the wait is up to five years. Everything depends on the country you choose, how fast you get your paperwork done and the relationships between the country you choose and the US and the country and your agency.

One other thing I would suggest is maybe taking some classes or doing some research into the issues that adopted children can face. Unless you are going domestic, you aren't going to get a young baby and there can be complications with adopting older babies and kids. It's good to be educated before you start the process so that you don't spend a lot of money only to realize that you aren't prepared for the risks.

[Anonymous]

Than you. I checked out the websites. So helpful. I am bumping this so the other person who posted inquiring about adoption can see your helpful response.

[Anonymous]

Most of the local adoption agencies have informational meetings on a regular basis. You might want to do that to get pretty specific info on the process, etc. My two favorite agencies in this area that do both domestic & international adoption are Adoptions Together & Barker Foundation.