Landing the Helicopter

[Anonymous]

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/articles/helicopter-parent-goes-college-130000956.html

This represents a tiny minority of parents but I also feel that we Gen X’ers feel more compelled to be “involved” because the stakes seem to be higher, the room for “error” lower, and we can’t get rid of our IPhones and internet. We have access to too much information about our kids’ college lives- something our parents didn’t have. I’m trying to stick to a once-a-week contact with my college kid and not nag.

[Anonymous]

So why are you here?

[Anonymous]

GL, OP

[Anonymous]

I feel you!

[Anonymous]

Our parents didn't have a lot of things we've had, including schooling (or lack therof) throughout Covid. My kids had 18 months of online schooling, from the January of 7th grade til the start of 9th.

This affected different children in many ways, mostly negative in terms of social confidence.

In very recent years already there's more drop outs from freshman classes at college than there would have been when we were at college, and more suicides.

F*ck the helicopter label and let parents do their own version of parenting as and how they see fit.

[Anonymous]

I talk to my freshman DD frequently- sometimes every other day, sometimes twice a day.
Sometimes chit chat, sometimes she needs mom words of encouragement.
It works for us. I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s too much or helicoptering.
I doubt my son will be interested in talking to me this frequently when he goes to college. He might prefer once a month.
Every kid and parent relationship is different.

[Anonymous]

I have two in college and we FaceTime with them once a week, for about 10 minutes. We might share memes and pet pictures a few times a week, but that’s it. We ask about how they are doing in class, but we don’t ask for specific grades — we just want to know that they are maintaining the minimum GPA required to keep their scholarships. Both have jobs, so they are pretty busy.

It is hard to let go, and I have to sometimes keep myself from providing advice when they haven’t asked for it, but I feel incredibly proud when they do things in their own and figure life out.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 in college and 1 at home. Both are at high-intensity, selective private schools.

Boy - text every week, maybe one phone call or FaceTime if we are lucky

Girl - daily phone calls (sometimes multiple), constant texts. I know her entire schedule, and her workload - because she's chatty and shares a lot.

I think gender plays a role too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two in college and we FaceTime with them once a week, for about 10 minutes. We might share memes and pet pictures a few times a week, but that’s it. We ask about how they are doing in class, but we don’t ask for specific grades — we just want to know that they are maintaining the minimum GPA required to keep their scholarships. Both have jobs, so they are pretty busy.

It is hard to let go, and I have to sometimes keep myself from providing advice when they haven’t asked for it, but I feel incredibly proud when they do things in their own and figure life out.

I’m pretty similar with my kid (college Sophomore) but one or two short calls a week - no FaceTime. I’m curious but stop myself before asking for specifics regarding grades/weekend plans/logistics- that’s for them to figure out. I try to Stick to general topics re: well-being, being academically engaged, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two in college and we FaceTime with them once a week, for about 10 minutes. We might share memes and pet pictures a few times a week, but that’s it. We ask about how they are doing in class, but we don’t ask for specific grades — we just want to know that they are maintaining the minimum GPA required to keep their scholarships. Both have jobs, so they are pretty busy.

It is hard to let go, and I have to sometimes keep myself from providing advice when they haven’t asked for it, but I feel incredibly proud when they do things in their own and figure life out.

I’m pretty similar with my kid (college Sophomore) but one or two short calls a week - no FaceTime. I’m curious but stop myself before asking for specifics regarding grades/weekend plans/logistics- that’s for them to figure out. I try to Stick to general topics re: well-being, being academically engaged, etc.

That’s what I do also; I have a son and it’s sometimes difficult to get many details anyway.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if you noticed, but the article was written by Russell Shaw, the head of school at Georgetown Day School.