School donations

[Anonymous]

We recently got a letter from the school suggesting a donation with a specific amount, $5,000. Parents involved in fundraising told me that the school sets this number based on what they think families earn, where they live, and other personal circumstances. Isn’t that a bit too much? Shouldn’t the amount of any donation be a completely personal decision?

I also wonder where this money actually goes. Does it really help families in need, or is it sometimes directed to upper-middle-class families the school randomly selects for scholarships?

How does it work at your school? Do they “suggest” a donation amount, or is there no pressure at all on how much to give?

[Anonymous]

Ours is a Christian K-8.
We never get requests for suggested donation amounts. I volunteer my time at the school and don’t send extra funds on top of the tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours is a Christian K-8.
We never get requests for suggested donation amounts. I volunteer my time at the school and don’t send extra funds on top of the tuition.

+1. That makes sense.

[Anonymous]

They also look at what you donated last time and double that amount. Did you donate 2500 last time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They also look at what you donated last time and double that amount. Did you donate 2500 last time?

Now that you say that , it’s actually true!

[Anonymous]

These development office practices turn people off from donating. We have gotten requests for specific numbers and we always reduce our donation in response. As long as you donate something as a current parent they should leave you alone for the remainder of the year.

[Anonymous]

The school suggested an amount, based on what their research says you may be able to afford, because that’s a best practice in independent school fundraising.

But that doesn’t mean you have to give that amount. You can choose any amount you want. If you like the school and you feel like they’re doing a good job with your kid, give an amount that feels personally generous to you. It doesn’t need to be anywhere near $5000.

Most independent schools really rely on donations in addition to tuition. If they were not able to do this kind of fundraising, tuition would be much higher to make up the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These development office practices turn people off from donating. We have gotten requests for specific numbers and we always reduce our donation in response. As long as you donate something as a current parent they should leave you alone for the remainder of the year.

Believe it or not, there’s an art and a social science to fundraising. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Many of us still feel crunched in the middle class, and one bad turn of events from being unemployed. But people who are fabulously wealthy and can make big donations know that they are fabulously wealthy, and they actually like being asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These development office practices turn people off from donating. We have gotten requests for specific numbers and we always reduce our donation in response. As long as you donate something as a current parent they should leave you alone for the remainder of the year.

Believe it or not, there’s an art and a social science to fundraising. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Many of us still feel crunched in the middle class, and one bad turn of events from being unemployed. But people who are fabulously wealthy and can make big donations know that they are fabulously wealthy, and they actually like being asked.

We are wealthy and we don’t like people claiming our money. It feels like both entitlement and transactional. We are more than just extremely wealthy but have to deal with asks all the time.

[Anonymous]

What I find more worrisome is the annual list of donors that is published. While recognizing donors is nice, the reverse of shaming families for not donating or not donating enough is bizarre. Welcome to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I find more worrisome is the annual list of donors that is published. While recognizing donors is nice, the reverse of shaming families for not donating or not donating enough is bizarre. Welcome to private school.

Totally agree. I guess is the “art” of fundraising.

[Anonymous]

We give significant support to anti-poverty organizations; any database that development people use would show that we can give substantial amounts. But we give just a few hundred to the private school and no one has ever said anything to us.

Donate something, but you get to choose the amount based on your priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I find more worrisome is the annual list of donors that is published. While recognizing donors is nice, the reverse of shaming families for not donating or not donating enough is bizarre. Welcome to private school.

I think it’s only shaming if they print a list of people that didn’t give. I don’t think schools are the only not for profit that recognize donors in print.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These development office practices turn people off from donating. We have gotten requests for specific numbers and we always reduce our donation in response. As long as you donate something as a current parent they should leave you alone for the remainder of the year.

Believe it or not, there’s an art and a social science to fundraising. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Many of us still feel crunched in the middle class, and one bad turn of events from being unemployed. But people who are fabulously wealthy and can make big donations know that they are fabulously wealthy, and they actually like being asked.

We are wealthy and we don’t like people claiming our money. It feels like both entitlement and transactional. We are more than just extremely wealthy but have to deal with asks all the time.

I don’t think anyone’s claiming your money. It’s known that many (not all) wealthy people like to give back and find causes that are important to them. So if you’re fundraising at a not for profit, you have to ask or you’re not getting anything from anyone. It’s very possible you’re not philanthropic and that’s your right. But for the right cause, many people can be inspired to give and feel good about it. Maybe it’s not your school. But if it is, maybe it’s a new building. Or a program. Or endowment. Or just the annual fund. Some people only feel good about giving if it’s through a gala event and raffle where they can socialize and might win something wonderful. There are many avenues to fundraising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These development office practices turn people off from donating. We have gotten requests for specific numbers and we always reduce our donation in response. As long as you donate something as a current parent they should leave you alone for the remainder of the year.

Believe it or not, there’s an art and a social science to fundraising. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Many of us still feel crunched in the middle class, and one bad turn of events from being unemployed. But people who are fabulously wealthy and can make big donations know that they are fabulously wealthy, and they actually like being asked.

We are wealthy and we don’t like people claiming our money. It feels like both entitlement and transactional. We are more than just extremely wealthy but have to deal with asks all the time.

Well, maybe you’re not fabulously wealthy. And maybe you’re just not philanthropic, if you’re more annoyed than flattered. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say there are probably causes that you do enjoy giving to. So you’re only annoyed by the causes that you’re not interested in.