Is your Ivy freshman happy?

[Anonymous]

My child is at an Ivy and over the weekend, as part of a larger gathering we saw the parents of 3 former classmates who are also at Ivies.
The common theme was that none of the kids are particularly happy so far--difficulty finding community, missing school spirit, wishing there was more to do on campus and frankly being bored. What is also common is that none of them feel like they can complain and they all say some version of "I figure it has to get better."
The schools are Princeton, Cornell, Dartmouth and Yale.

[Anonymous]

My dd is a sophomore transfer at Cornell. Loves the academics. Really struggling with finding community and connecting with others. The weekends are hard. She’s an outgoing kid and easily connects with others. It’s just really hard. She said that everyone is studying all the time. She’s working hard, but knows how to balance it with down time. It’s hard to find others to take breaks with. We’ve been encouraging her to go join “fun” clubs.

I think she’s going to be okay and will find her people. But yes, it’s hard right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd is a sophomore transfer at Cornell. Loves the academics. Really struggling with finding community and connecting with others. The weekends are hard. She’s an outgoing kid and easily connects with others. It’s just really hard. She said that everyone is studying all the time. She’s working hard, but knows how to balance it with down time. It’s hard to find others to take breaks with. We’ve been encouraging her to go join “fun” clubs.

I think she’s going to be okay and will find her people. But yes, it’s hard right now.

College should not be this hard.

[Anonymous]

If you’re bored and can’t find something to do on those campuses, that is a you problem. There are a million things to do. Join a club. Try out for an arts group. Go to a sporting event. Play intramurals. Do some community service.

[Anonymous]

Having grown up in Princeton, doesn’t surprise me that kids complain there is nothing to do in the town. However the eating clubs probably have parties most weekends, same with the frats at Dartmouth and Cornell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having grown up in Princeton, doesn’t surprise me that kids complain there is nothing to do in the town. However the eating clubs probably have parties most weekends, same with the frats at Dartmouth and Cornell.

I live in Princeton now, and there are lots of things to do for me and DH and our high schooler. Unless you're only interested in going to bars and night clubs; we don’t have many of those.

[Anonymous]

Harvard freshman very happy overall. Loves the community and classes, access to professors and guest speakers.

Plenty to do on weekends but disappointed that more kids don’t go to football games. That’s the only complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having grown up in Princeton, doesn’t surprise me that kids complain there is nothing to do in the town. However the eating clubs probably have parties most weekends, same with the frats at Dartmouth and Cornell.

Dartmouth freshmen (male or female! are not allowed at frat parties during fall semester and the college policies this very strictly.

[Anonymous]

This is why we insisted on universities in or near big cities. MIT/ Harvard/Columbia/ Uchicago for top performers at our high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re bored and can’t find something to do on those campuses, that is a you problem. There are a million things to do. Join a club. Try out for an arts group. Go to a sporting event. Play intramurals. Do some community service.

Agree. There is tons to do. We know many involved, content kids at ivies. It can take a while to find their people but there are tons of groups at all of the ivies

[Anonymous]

I mean, there’s a fair amount of “wherever you go there you are“ with regards to college. I went to an undergrad that was famous for having a lousy social life and I had tons of fun. There were plenty of parties and things to do, etc even at a school not known for school spirit or fun. My DD just graduated from one of the schools on your list that has a reputation for having a really good undergraduate experience and she found the environment rich and energizing with way more to do then she had time for. But that doesn’t mean every kid will be happy there and I know some did struggle to find a sense of community where they were comfortable. It’s still pretty early in the college process for all of them and when you are and not feeling like you know your way around, it’s easy enough to decide that a school is boring or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is at an Ivy and over the weekend, as part of a larger gathering we saw the parents of 3 former classmates who are also at Ivies.
The common theme was that none of the kids are particularly happy so far--difficulty finding community, missing school spirit, wishing there was more to do on campus and frankly being bored. What is also common is that none of them feel like they can complain and they all say some version of "I figure it has to get better."
The schools are Princeton, Cornell, Dartmouth and Yale.

It's pretty common.
You might find this helpful: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1242842.page

[Anonymous]

Have they landed any internship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd is a sophomore transfer at Cornell. Loves the academics. Really struggling with finding community and connecting with others. The weekends are hard. She’s an outgoing kid and easily connects with others. It’s just really hard. She said that everyone is studying all the time. She’s working hard, but knows how to balance it with down time. It’s hard to find others to take breaks with. We’ve been encouraging her to go join “fun” clubs.

I think she’s going to be okay and will find her people. But yes, it’s hard right now.

Cornell is a very very cliquey school socially. Did she rush this fall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having grown up in Princeton, doesn’t surprise me that kids complain there is nothing to do in the town. However the eating clubs probably have parties most weekends, same with the frats at Dartmouth and Cornell.

I live in Princeton now, and there are lots of things to do for me and DH and our high schooler. Unless you're only interested in going to bars and night clubs; we don’t have many of those.

That is what most college kids are interested in.