What’s the best way to handle this?

[Anonymous]

I have a colleague who works remotely and comes into town periodically. She will invite me and another colleague to lunch when she’s here. We’re all women. The other colleague does not like me and has done things like withheld information, not pitched in on projects when they should have, etc. The remote colleague doesn’t know this and thinks that we are all work friends. I don’t want to do these lunches anymore with the toxic colleague and would rather just meet with the remote colleague one on one. I don’t want to get into why I don’t want the toxic colleague present because the remote colleague likes her. Toxic Colleague and I are cordial but distant.

Any suggestions on how to handle? Should I just suck it up and deal with these lunches that happen about once/quarter?

[Anonymous]

Just say you can’t make it to lunch at the last minute and offer to meet for coffee later or a drink after work.

[Anonymous]

Are you aware that talking to people sometimes solves problems? “Toxic” coworker may have a different perspective. Have you tried addressing it directly?

[Anonymous]

I’m simply skip the lunch