Help finding therapist for college daughter

[Anonymous]

20-year-old college student is home this weekend from school out of state.

We both agree she could benefit from speaking with a therapist. Issues are lack of ability to focus, feelings of overwhelm; spacing out in class; and difficulty making decisions and planning. This is very sudden - usually she's got fantastic executive functioning skills.

About three weeks ago she had a difficult interaction/altercation with a housemate/friend that may have brought up some past trauma that she never got any help or therapy for...My uneducated guess (just Momma gut sense) is that she is experiencing a delayed reaction as a result of what happened.

She's also living on her own, off campus, cooking meals and shopping; paying for utilities and all of that for the first time. Very busy social life, work, clubs. I think she's just feeling overwhelmed but she does seem very negative and there could be some depression as well; could be seasonal affective disorder?

So I want to find her a therapist but how do we start? Her college has a mental health center but they are universally described as abyssmal and they turn away anyone who isn't actively suicidal so not there. Does she need to find someone licensed to practice in the state her college is in? Is on-line therapy decent? Should I look for someone who can prescribe medication? Can you recommend someone on line or a place I can look to find referrals?

[Anonymous]

Ignore my post! A friend who lives not too far from her college actually knows a great therapy group and they even have offices close to campus.

[Anonymous]

She should visit her primary care doctor as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should visit her primary care doctor as well.

Right now, she doesn't have a primary care doctor. In theory, her pediatrician will see college students up to about age 23 if they don't have someone else to see. But as a college student if she's ill, she goes to student health services or to an urgent care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20-year-old college student is home this weekend from school out of state.

We both agree she could benefit from speaking with a therapist. Issues are lack of ability to focus, feelings of overwhelm; spacing out in class; and difficulty making decisions and planning. This is very sudden - usually she's got fantastic executive functioning skills.

Those are symptoms of stress being much much higher than normal. Do go with your gut.

College therapists are better than no therapy, but are unlikely to be what she really needs.

Bottom line right now is she needs a much better support system and very likely needs to separate from that problematic roommate.

If she is living in college housing, rather than in a leased commercial apartment, then explore if she would consider changing dorms to get away from problematic roommate. Roommate issues are much more common than many realize and often are more severe than many realize; it can be extremely high stress to have to live with a problematic roommate. Colleges usually will have a process for students to switch dorms/suites in situations like DD's.

[Anonymous]

If she is binge drinking, she should stop. It can cause a lot of issues with cognitive and psychiatric function.

[Anonymous]

Colleague's son was at a well known university and had a roommate who mistreated him. Initially it was psychological attacks but eventually it became physical violence. The roommate also stayed up late and kept room lights on, so the son also was partly sleep deprived.

Colleague's son then switched to a different dorm and was much much happier.

A different colleague slept most nights on a sofa in a computer room during freshman year because his assigned roommate was so problematic.

[Anonymous]

Your insurance probably had a list of covered therapists, as does Psychology Today. Many describe their specialties online, which could include young adults , trauma, life transitions. The student health center almost definitely maintains a list of providers in their area that engage in longterm therapy with students. Call them. Most refer out if they think that is needed (vs acute triage).

Don’t worry about medication at this stage. You need a diagnosis first. If the psychologist or social worker believes that will help, they probably partner with physicians who will see their patients.

You can often find reviews online. Be persistent. They may not all respond or have openings that fit your child’s schedule.

This is important. It is great that she is sharing her status with you, and open to getting help.

Good luck.