How important is it for BOTH parents to attend admissions events at private schools

[Anonymous]

DS is an 8th grader a K-8 and we are in the process of applying out for high schools. DH has a temporary work situation this year which necessitates a lot of travel. I am mostly going to admissions events (tours, open houses, interviews) with my son on our own, but find that most kids have both parents with them. We've been to a couple of events where I went to get my name badge, and they also had one for DH. I had to explain the situation as to why he cannot join. For both these events, I never registered DH in the first place knowing he'll be out of town, but I guess the school admins assumed he would be there? It is hard to schedule these events while he is in town and I have not yet been able to do so given both the school's schedule and his travel schedule.

Could this make us look any less interested in the school? I am worried that this could affect DS's chances of getting admitted.

[Anonymous]

I have one DS who is at a private high school and an 8th grader who is applying. I think it depends on the event. Open houses usually are very crowded and it’s unlikely the admission team will know who attends and who doesn’t. For tours with say one other family, I do think both parents attending shows interest and it’s good for both parents and the DC to see the school. But, sometimes that isn’t possible, especially if one parent has a lot of work travel. In that case, if you like the school, I think it’s a good idea to let the AD know that and let them know your DH was disappointed to miss the event but plans to attend X event (eg. open house) to learn more about the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is an 8th grader a K-8 and we are in the process of applying out for high schools. DH has a temporary work situation this year which necessitates a lot of travel. I am mostly going to admissions events (tours, open houses, interviews) with my son on our own, but find that most kids have both parents with them. We've been to a couple of events where I went to get my name badge, and they also had one for DH. I had to explain the situation as to why he cannot join. For both these events, I never registered DH in the first place knowing he'll be out of town, but I guess the school admins assumed he would be there? It is hard to schedule these events while he is in town and I have not yet been able to do so given both the school's schedule and his travel schedule.

Could this make us look any less interested in the school? I am worried that this could affect DS's chances of getting admitted.

It's not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t matter. There are so many reasons why a family might only have one parent attend events and that doesn’t signal less interest. There are also widows, single parents, and divorced parents who are going to be alone at events.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t matter. When both parents are available, often both want to go. DH and I went to most together because DH really wanted to when he could, but when he wasn’t available it was just me.

Most schools very much want to interview both parents for the parent interviews, however. We had one where I went in person with DC, and DH joined by zoom. All the others we were able to schedule when DH could come in person as well. (This is assuming married parents. I’m not sure what they do for unamicably divorced parents, but that’s not OP’s situation.)

[Anonymous]

We’ve gone through this process twice…. It’s no big deal. Your DH will miss seeing things for his own edification, but the schools won’t judge if he can’t be there for open houses etc… an interview is where it could matter.

[Anonymous]

DH didn’t come to the interview/shadow day when DD applied to high school. It never came up and did not impact her admission to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve gone through this process twice…. It’s no big deal. Your DH will miss seeing things for his own edification, but the schools won’t judge if he can’t be there for open houses etc… an interview is where it could matter.

+1. Also coming from a K-8 and despite my husband's best intentions, he pretty much missed almost all events (besides interviews) for two kids. The biggest problem was when it came time to decide, he hadn't been to any of the events at one of my son's top choices. I don't think it's great for both parents not to be present for the interview but even there, my husband had to miss an interview at one of the schools so I called to ask if we should reschedule and the school said it wasn't a problem.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal. Family's have complicated schedules. A compassionate admission office understands that.

[Anonymous]

I hope it doesn't matter. DH's schedule is impossible and we're probably going to blow off at least one open house this year. We already have our top choices narrowed down; we don't need to ask more questions.

[Anonymous]

Does not matter at all.

[Anonymous]

DD applied from a K-8 to 4 schools. DH came to none of the events. She received offers from 3.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter- my husband went to nothing and we got into a NW private

[Anonymous]

Not important but I was the busy DH who enjoyed being part of the process when our DC was applying last year. There were weekend open houses and virtual events, and I made it a priority to at least make some of those.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it matters from an admissions standpoint but it was super helpful that DH had been to some events at all of the schools when it came down to talking through pros and cons.