Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?

[Anonymous]

That’s it

[Anonymous]

I was nervous when my daughter wanted to go to UF v. a much smaller school. However, she has loved it. She has so many more friend groups than she did in high school (where she struggled to find her people). My only issue is that she is having too much fun and I hope that her grades do not suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was nervous when my daughter wanted to go to UF v. a much smaller school. However, she has loved it. She has so many more friend groups than she did in high school (where she struggled to find her people). My only issue is that she is having too much fun and I hope that her grades do not suffer.

What smaller schools did she consider?

[Anonymous]

My DD is a freshman at a very big state school a plane ride away and I went to a small NE LAC so it’s a completely different world to me. I worry that she will get lost in the shuffle and not develop the relationships with professors like I did. Her school is notorious for being over enrolled and she’s already complaining that everything is too crowded, dining halls, the club fair and parties.
It’s a great school and I am proud that she got in and is taking a chance, but I would have preferred she go somewhere smaller.
At the same time, I am also hoping this builds some hustle in her and that she finds a way to make it work.

[Anonymous]

I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.

What if that’s what they wanted and it was 1/4 of the cost?

[Anonymous]

It depends on your kid. I went to a big state school. They expect you to be an adult from Day 1. No one is reaching out to check on you. You have a counselor you can meet with to discuss classes, etc. but you have to set the meeting. If you don’t do that, they aren’t going to follow up. If you miss class, no one is going to follow up. It’s a great environment with amazing opportunities, but you have to drive things yourself. If you kid isn’t good at that or is used to being coddled, it might not be the right fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on your kid. I went to a big state school. They expect you to be an adult from Day 1. No one is reaching out to check on you. You have a counselor you can meet with to discuss classes, etc. but you have to set the meeting. If you don’t do that, they aren’t going to follow up. If you miss class, no one is going to follow up. It’s a great environment with amazing opportunities, but you have to drive things yourself. If you kid isn’t good at that or is used to being coddled, it might not be the right fit.

You assume it’s not the same at smaller schools? My kid’s Ivy is cutthroat. Not the coddling stereotype people have of it here. The kid was in the hospital and still got no deadline leeway. You definitely need to be used to sink or swim- but he came from a private HS that was like this from day 1 of freshmen year. Parents had zero access to canvas, etc, no-retakes or extended deadlines and I never spoke to a single teacher or administrator all 4 years- so he was used to it.

Small does not automatically mean “coddling”. I also went to a big state university and did great. My roommate flunked out first semester—and that happens at every school big and small.

[Anonymous]

Which schools are considered cutthroat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was nervous when my daughter wanted to go to UF v. a much smaller school. However, she has loved it. She has so many more friend groups than she did in high school (where she struggled to find her people). My only issue is that she is having too much fun and I hope that her grades do not suffer.

Hey, thanks for this comment. My DD has struggled to find her people in high school and wants to go to a big school and have a lot of fun. Happy to hear the plan worked out for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on your kid. I went to a big state school. They expect you to be an adult from Day 1. No one is reaching out to check on you. You have a counselor you can meet with to discuss classes, etc. but you have to set the meeting. If you don’t do that, they aren’t going to follow up. If you miss class, no one is going to follow up. It’s a great environment with amazing opportunities, but you have to drive things yourself. If you kid isn’t good at that or is used to being coddled, it might not be the right fit.

You assume it’s not the same at smaller schools? My kid’s Ivy is cutthroat. Not the coddling stereotype people have of it here. The kid was in the hospital and still got no deadline leeway. You definitely need to be used to sink or swim- but he came from a private HS that was like this from day 1 of freshmen year. Parents had zero access to canvas, etc, no-retakes or extended deadlines and I never spoke to a single teacher or administrator all 4 years- so he was used to it.

Small does not automatically mean “coddling”. I also went to a big state university and did great. My roommate flunked out first semester—and that happens at every school big and small.

Honest question, what’s the appeal to go to such a HS and college? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.

May be somewhat accurate for students at some large, public universities who are not in the honors college and who choose not to get involved beyond the minimum required, but it would be that student's choice, not an automatic, pre-determined situation.

However, the opportunities at large, public universities are many and varied and, again, it is up to the student to choose whether or not to get involved by taking advantage of one or more of the available opportunities. And, the opportunity to enjoy a few years of being a low-key member of a large community is attractive to many. Some folks may prefer to engage in individual exercise, individual study, and enjoying time to grow and to explore in their own fashion. (FWIW I have tried both and really enjoyed the large, public university much more than the 2,000+ student LAC from which I graduated. And I was no wallflower in high school--class president, multi-sport varsity athlete, two team sports captain, solid student, and vigorous social life.)

Many quickly get weary of seeing the same faces day after day, lack of privacy, and social cliques that dominate many small schools. I saw different opportunities almost daily at the large, public university and felt suffocated at the 2,300 student LAC.

With respect to getting to know one's professors, it is easy at both large & small schools. Actually, it seemed easier to form close relationships with professors at the large,public university because students tended to mind their own business,while at small schools it seems as though as everyone knows each other's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a freshman at a very big state school a plane ride away and I went to a small NE LAC so it’s a completely different world to me. I worry that she will get lost in the shuffle and not develop the relationships with professors like I did. Her school is notorious for being over enrolled and she’s already complaining that everything is too crowded, dining halls, the club fair and parties.
It’s a great school and I am proud that she got in and is taking a chance, but I would have preferred she go somewhere smaller.
At the same time, I am also hoping this builds some hustle in her and that she finds a way to make it work.

Ditto. DD goes to UCLA. The education seems very meh. Nothing like my great SLAC where I knew my profs. But getting different things out of school. Per the Atlantic and NY Times, no one does the reading anymore at schools like Harvard etc. Everyone is jockeying for clubs and internships. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Oldest is at big school. No regrets!

Lots of opportunities. Lots of friendships and a wide network.

Will invest the tuition savings for their retirement.

You can always make a big school small but can’t make a small school big.

[Anonymous]

Oldest went to University of Illinois and I thought it was a bad decision. He ended up struggling and hating it and transferred after sophomore year. It was too big of an environment for him, and UIUC is notoriously "sink or swim" for engineering majors. He's doing much better at the smaller, regional school that he transferred to.

He wanted to try it, though, and I let him. It was a mistake, but he learned something.