Friend who has been unstable but seemed better has sent me 10 texts phone calls etc

[Anonymous]

Re her cat. He was injured and she’s had him at the vet. She insists he had all these extremely serious injuries and she’s had him receiving various interventions, and now he’s healed. Her claims don’t make sense though- fwiw cat looked mostly ok in the pics she’s sent- and more importantly, she just sounds crazy. Shes saying that his healing has helped her find religion, he should be a therapy cat for nursing homes, blah blah. Just a jumble of crazy.

In the past, she has been in and out of rehab for marijuana use, and was diagnosed with borderline (and ADHD). She has been on meds and has seemed better the last year, but these recent texts concern me.

Then again, I’ve been through a lot with her in the past, and I don’t have a lot of energy to deal with her. I’m also slightly frustrated, assuming she’s off her meds. But I don’t know that.

Anyone btdt?

[Anonymous]

Could be bipolar mania. I have a family member with bipolar and his manic episodes have begun with out of control texting (crazy stuff) with delusional ideas. But he was sending 100s of texts, not just 10.

[Anonymous]

I know I sent more than 10 texts to close friends when my cat was very ill and I was scared of losing her, so that part doesn't seem weird.

But if it is too much for you, it's too much – and if the cat is actually okay, maybe it is a good time to distance yourself since you're no longer seem up for friendship.

[Anonymous]

If you have her parents phone number, I would alert them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be bipolar mania. I have a family member with bipolar and his manic episodes have begun with out of control texting (crazy stuff) with delusional ideas. But he was sending 100s of texts, not just 10.

Yeah, it was more than 10 now that I look. Yea, delusional ideas for sure.

Sounds like bipolar. And I meant to say she was bipolar above, not borderline. (That had been an earlier dx)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have her parents phone number, I would alert them.

This. Do you know a family member or a mutual friend you can check in with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I sent more than 10 texts to close friends when my cat was very ill and I was scared of losing her, so that part doesn't seem weird.

But if it is too much for you, it's too much – and if the cat is actually okay, maybe it is a good time to distance yourself since you're no longer seem up for friendship.

Well that’s the point. I’m not sure her cat was all that ill. But according to her, he had traumatic brain injury, a broken spinal cord, needed to have a blood transfusion and to be on a feeding tube, etc etc but through his sheer determination and the help of Jesus, he managed to pull through in a few days. That’s the part that doesn’t seem normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have her parents phone number, I would alert them.

This. Do you know a family member or a mutual friend you can check in with?

She lives out of town now, but I am going to try to find her BFs number

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have her parents phone number, I would alert them.

This. Do you know a family member or a mutual friend you can check in with?

If not, you can also request a welfare check (if you truly feel she could be at risk). I know from personal experience my family member went from “normal” to dangerous (to himself and others) within 4 days. It was described to me like his brain was running at Ferrari speed nonstop. It is a medical issue and can become life threatening, if severe.

Trust your gut instinct. If you have experience with your friend, you will know if something is off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I sent more than 10 texts to close friends when my cat was very ill and I was scared of losing her, so that part doesn't seem weird.

But if it is too much for you, it's too much – and if the cat is actually okay, maybe it is a good time to distance yourself since you're no longer seem up for friendship.

Well that’s the point. I’m not sure her cat was all that ill. But according to her, he had traumatic brain injury, a broken spinal cord, needed to have a blood transfusion and to be on a feeding tube, etc etc but through his sheer determination and the help of Jesus, he managed to pull through in a few days. That’s the part that doesn’t seem normal

Ohhhhh. I'm the PP. Then, yes, that's just plain nutty. I misread and thought there had been a definitive crisis and his recovery (through veterinary medicine, not Jesus) was the cause of her newfound faith. But a cat having spontaneous recovery from THAT via just Jesus is ... highly unlikely. So, reaching out to the boyfriend or calling for a welfare check if he's not locatable seems like a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be bipolar mania. I have a family member with bipolar and his manic episodes have begun with out of control texting (crazy stuff) with delusional ideas. But he was sending 100s of texts, not just 10.

Same. Had a former boss like this when I was in my 20s. We later found out that she went off her meds and was drinking heavily, but all we observed was some crazy stuff similar to OP’s experience, including really strange voicemails on our work lines.

Fortunately I worked for a very old school Fortune 500
Company at the time and they had the kind of HR that doesn’t exist anymore. They listened to our young team’s concerns, intervened carefully, paid for her to go to treatment, and preserved her job.

I don’t think that would happen in this times, which is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be bipolar mania. I have a family member with bipolar and his manic episodes have begun with out of control texting (crazy stuff) with delusional ideas. But he was sending 100s of texts, not just 10.

Same. Had a former boss like this when I was in my 20s. We later found out that she went off her meds and was drinking heavily, but all we observed was some crazy stuff similar to OP’s experience, including really strange voicemails on our work lines.

Fortunately I worked for a very old school Fortune 500
Company at the time and they had the kind of HR that doesn’t exist anymore. They listened to our young team’s concerns, intervened carefully, paid for her to go to treatment, and preserved her job.

I don’t think that would happen in this times, which is sad.

Agree 100 percent. My family member had two lengthy stays in psychiatric hospitals, but was finally able to get correct medication. With family support, he was able to complete college degree and now has first professional job. It’s been hell for him and his family.

I cannot imagine how people without a support system survive. Just navigating insurance, doctor appointments, prescriptions, referrals has been a nightmare. There is no way a mentally ill person could do on his own.

It sounds like OP says her friend has a history, so hopefully she can get a quick intervention by family and medical team.

[Anonymous]

Op- good advice, thanks all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I sent more than 10 texts to close friends when my cat was very ill and I was scared of losing her, so that part doesn't seem weird.

But if it is too much for you, it's too much – and if the cat is actually okay, maybe it is a good time to distance yourself since you're no longer seem up for friendship.

+1 Maybe they were in her out box. Or maybe she was bored in the waiting room at the cat. I don't understand the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I sent more than 10 texts to close friends when my cat was very ill and I was scared of losing her, so that part doesn't seem weird.

But if it is too much for you, it's too much – and if the cat is actually okay, maybe it is a good time to distance yourself since you're no longer seem up for friendship.

Well that’s the point. I’m not sure her cat was all that ill. But according to her, he had traumatic brain injury, a broken spinal cord, needed to have a blood transfusion and to be on a feeding tube, etc etc but through his sheer determination and the help of Jesus, he managed to pull through in a few days. That’s the part that doesn’t seem normal

Are you a vet?