“Coat and tie” women’s wear

[Anonymous]

What does one wear to an evening milestone birthday party at a country club if the dress code is given as “coat and tie”? I assume cocktail dress. Is this a clutch kind of a deal or a nice daytime handbag kind of a deal? Pictures would be extremely welcome, I was raised by wolves and do not have intuition for this.

[Anonymous]

Cocktail but nicer business outfit would work as well. I would use an evening bag vs a day bag but it doesn’t need to be too fancy.

[Anonymous]

This sort of invitation is a great reason to have a basic, good quality, little black dress in your closet, if you don't know what this particular crowd wears... plain clutch (no sparkles) or small, chanel inspired, black shoulder bag with gold chain... whichever is easiest for you to carry. I might carry a different bag depending on a sit down dinner vs buffet. Dressy black pants work as well...again depends on your comfort level.

This advice isn't to discourage you from shopping for something fabulous. Just a safe answer to your question.

[Anonymous]

I’d do cocktail dress and a simple clutch.

[Anonymous]

Nobody makes the distinction between evening clutch and nice daytime handbag anymore. Just don't bring something large.

You can wear a cocktail dress, or for funsies, come in an exquisitely tailored women's suit with tie

Shoes should be as fancy as you can without hurting your feet. For me that's difficult, I have sensitive feet.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all! And am I right in thinking trousers and jacket and tie for DH, rather than a suit?

[Anonymous]

So they wrote on the invitation "coat and tie"?

I really don't know what that means, even after googling. If I'm wearing a cocktail dress, my husband's wearing a suit. If husband is wearing a sport coat, I'm wearing a dress appropriate for church (back in olden times when folks dressed for church)

In my mind.. some church dresses can go to cocktails, but fancy cocktail dresses aren't appropriate for church. These are old fashioned rules. But there you go.

All country clubs are not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So they wrote on the invitation "coat and tie"?

I really don't know what that means, even after googling. If I'm wearing a cocktail dress, my husband's wearing a suit. If husband is wearing a sport coat, I'm wearing a dress appropriate for church (back in olden times when folks dressed for church)

In my mind.. some church dresses can go to cocktails, but fancy cocktail dresses aren't appropriate for church. These are old fashioned rules. But there you go.

All country clubs are not the same.

Oh come on. You just want to be difficult, given your subsequent description. Coat and tie means sport coat and tie (with slacks and shirt). It means slightly more casual than suit, where the bottom needs to match the top. Women will wear the precise level of fancy or non-fancy cocktail dress that they please.

Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be. Instead of desperately trying to uphold ridiculously narrow protocols of dress, you can allow that guests will arrive in a variety of perfectly acceptable versions of the dress code. The "old-fashioned" rules only exist when the community is small and culturally homogeneous. These days, don't even go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! And am I right in thinking trousers and jacket and tie for DH, rather than a suit?

A suit would be fine for your husband. Please no navy blazer and khakis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they wrote on the invitation "coat and tie"?

I really don't know what that means, even after googling. If I'm wearing a cocktail dress, my husband's wearing a suit. If husband is wearing a sport coat, I'm wearing a dress appropriate for church (back in olden times when folks dressed for church)

In my mind.. some church dresses can go to cocktails, but fancy cocktail dresses aren't appropriate for church. These are old fashioned rules. But there you go.

All country clubs are not the same.

Oh come on. You just want to be difficult, given your subsequent description. Coat and tie means sport coat and tie (with slacks and shirt). It means slightly more casual than suit, where the bottom needs to match the top. Women will wear the precise level of fancy or non-fancy cocktail dress that they please.

Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be. Instead of desperately trying to uphold ridiculously narrow protocols of dress, you can allow that guests will arrive in a variety of perfectly acceptable versions of the dress code. The "old-fashioned" rules only exist when the community is small and culturally homogeneous. These days, don't even go there.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! And am I right in thinking trousers and jacket and tie for DH, rather than a suit?

A suit would be fine for your husband. Please no navy blazer and khakis.

Of course he can wear a navy blazer and khakis along with a tie. Good grief. That is literally a "coat and tie".

[Anonymous]

Yes, the invitation literally says “coat and tie.” I assume that’s the country club dress code, which is why I added the context about the party — I would go dressier for a birthday, for an evening, etc., than I would for “come have lunch with us at the club.”

I don’t currently have a cocktail dress that fits well (losing baby weight but not quite back to my old size) so I’m shopping around.

[Anonymous]

Ties have pretty much gone away. So many men are just wearing the shirt and coat with no tie.

[Anonymous]

For CC they just don't want the guys to be embarrassed if they choose nice polo (which is often an option at ccs!) Any blazer and tie is fine. Women have much more flexibility. Don't sweat it OP. We wear anything from dresses to black pants. It's fall so you can move into sweater dressing. I never bring a clutch since I have pockets or make DH carry something.

[Anonymous]

You do not need a clutch or a bag at all. Any nice, simple cocktail attire will be acceptable.