senior colleague always on my case

[Anonymous]

I've been with my organization for two years and have enjoyed the work overall. Salary and benefits are terrific, I like my manager, and I feel like I'm a good fit there. However, there's one senior colleague who from day one has been overly critical of everything I do and whenever possible, throws monkey wrenches into my projects so they're hard to complete and in some cases, need to be tossed aside (with a lot of money wasted). She's been there for a long time and everyone seems to be scared of her-- she says jump, they ask how high. She's not a member of the leadership team though, which I find perplexing. Maybe she threatened to sue them at some point?

I often feel like she's pretty much screwing with me because the nitpicking is excessive and unnecessary. Sometimes she's helpful, but other times it seems to be more about her throwing around her seniority and political power. She went on a month-long leave a while back, and in that time period, I met all of my milestones. Once she came back though, we went back to square one. Managers do tell me to keep her in the loop, so I feel like I have no choice but to deal with her.

At this point, I've tried my best to make it work and grin and bear it. I've seen her push around other people, too, so I know I'm not the only one. I've approached management with my concerns and it's always, "yeah, we know, that's how she is." But no one will put her in her place. There are usually opportunities to be moved to other teams or offices, but nothing on the horizon until mid-2026 because of cuts, I'm told. Any tips for how to manage this better? I get the sense she's disliked me from day one. I don't want to take a transfer I'm not happy with nor quit. She could even retire in a year or two, so at this point I have more to lose. I'm not a newbie in our field, either. I can retire in a few years as well if I'm in the position to do so, but I'd rather stick it out longer.

[Anonymous]

I guarantee you that you didn’t meet all of your milestones, that the bar has been lowered for you so that you feel like you are, and senior colleague resents you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you that you didn’t meet all of your milestones, that the bar has been lowered for you so that you feel like you are, and senior colleague resents you.

This is a totally bizarre response. Are OP and senior colleague battling it out here on DCUM?

OP, I'd stop keeping her in the loop as much as I possibly could, for starters, and then revise your interpretation of "in the loop." It means keeping someone informed about the progress of a project, not getting their approval.

If she complains to your management I would be apologetic and then ask for a meeting with your supervisor and grill them about their expectations for keeping this colleague in the loop and for getting her approval. You have to do this with some nuance, but everyone is playing a game here - you need to understand the unspoken rules to play effectively.

[Anonymous]

She is just a mentally ill nut job who feels threatened by you. Can you think of any good ways to publicly put her in her place while at work ?

[Anonymous]

As PP said, just gray rock her. She's not part of what you do. If your manager brings it up play dumb and ask for expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guarantee you that you didn’t meet all of your milestones, that the bar has been lowered for you so that you feel like you are, and senior colleague resents you.

Must you infest every thread on this site with your obnoxiousness?

[Anonymous]

Just ignore them. Old people are obnoxious.