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My unemployed husband is annoying me
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Anonymous
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He has seemingly made very few efforts to find a job (in almost a year). And on the days when I'm working from home or off, I feel like he should at least pretend to be job hunting. So far, he left for two hours and returned with groceries (nice that he does some of the grocery shopping at least!), but now he's just reading the newspaper. He's very sensitive to anything I say about the situation, but . . . I guess I'll have to say something. I just need to make sure it's not when I'm as annoyed as I am at the moment.
Any good resources (for him or me)? |
Anonymous
| OP, maybe it's just that at a certain point, you've saturated the job hunting market? I mean, you post your resume in the right forums, update your profile on networking sites, follow-up with leads, research networking events, etc. I'm guessing after being in the market for a year, he has a pretty good sense of where he needs to look, what's a waste of time, and it doesn't take long to run through his daily to-do list for the job search. |
Anonymous
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Yeah, I wish that was it. But he didn't even have a resume completed for the first 6 months or so. He hasn't applied for any federal jobs (which would be a great fit for him). He's only talked to one recruiter and no temporary agencies. I'm not really feeling like this is because he's oversaturated the market.
P.S. He's lying on the couch reading a book right now. |
Anonymous
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you guys need counseling. For you so that you don't kill him, because I would if I were you.
And for him, so that he can realize that he needs to put his balls back on and go get a friggin job! |
Anonymous
OP, he sounds depressed and unmotivated. Can you afford for him to get either a therapist or a career counselor? A career counselor may be more useful at this time. They'll help him think strategically about what jobs are right for him, give him a kick in the arse about networking, etc. Sometimes just having the 'homework' is a good motivator. I made my DH do that when he was facing unemployment because I knew he'd be the same way and I didn't want to spend the whole time keeping my foot you-know-where. It worked, and he starts his new job next week (and is now working on the endless honey-do list I made for him for his unemployment 
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Anonymous
| Yeah, I think counseling is a good idea. I think I'll push for a career counselor first. Of course, you hate to spend money at this time, but I guess it would be worth the investment. Recs for career counselors in MD? What do I search for? His old company did pay for a career resource center type of place, and he went to classes there for the first couple of months, but that's expired now. Maybe there was someone there he clicked with and could talk with again. |
Anonymous
| It doesn't sound like he can do anything right. Is he supposed to pound the pavement 24/7? He went grocery shopping and read the newspaper. Wow, what a slacker. I'd be busting his nuts big time. |
Anonymous
| Well, my unemployed husband is annoying me by being TOO diligent in his job hunt. He is glued to the computer at every waking moment, and getting him away from it to eat with us or play with the kids is a struggle. Of course he needs to find a job, but he is wasting his time, in my opinion, applying for 3 jobs a day, every day, even when he has zero chance of getting them because they are not in his field or are real long shots. So be careful what you wish for, OP! |
Anonymous
| OP - Any children? |
Anonymous
Let me guess you are a frequent bitter poster on DCUM who gets her rocks off pointing out how how anyone who posts reasonable and relevant questions just can't do anything right? |
Anonymous
| Agree with PP that maybe he is depressed. Losing your job, being unemployed for a year and having a spouse annoyed about it can be difficult. Follow up on the career counselor suggestions. GL! |