If you don’t like football, what do you talk about with your teen son?

[Anonymous]

Other than touchdowns, I just don’t get football. I hate the noise of it all in our home but I am trying to learn about it to have something to talk about with my son.

Moms what do you talk about with your older teen boy?

[Anonymous]

Wut

[Anonymous]

Food

Pets

Travel plans

Friendships

Books

Dreams and aspirations

What's new at school

Any TikToks they feel like showing you.

That's a start!

[Anonymous]

You are pretty basic

[Anonymous]

Is football seriously the only thing he cares about? No other interests?

Surely your son has other hobbies and interests you could speak to him about. Does he like music? Video games? Interested in food? Have a favorite subject at school? Does he dream of moving to a specific city or climate?

No one can tell you what "teenage boys" talk about because they are all different. Lots of teenage boys don't care about football at all, for instance.

If football is truly all he cares about, I do think you need to find a way to be more accepting of this interest than you are (like the fact that you don't even like the sound of games is a problem) and should find some aspect of it talk about. Football is actually a really accessible sport with lots of different kinds of fans -- you don't have to know all the nuances of the games to be able to talk about whether a player played well or appreciate an impressive touchdown pass or run, or know the season record of a team or whether they will make the playoffs.

[Anonymous]

My sons not into football either so we talk about pretty much everything else.

[Anonymous]

How much they dislike school and what can be done about it

Setting life goals

A little gossip/backstory about kids in their grade

Robotics team (their major EC)

Funny Instagram videos

[Anonymous]

1 million things!

[Anonymous]

Your son is pretty dumb if he can only talk about football

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sons not into football either so we talk about pretty much everything else.

+1 He tells me about what he and his friends did, though I know he doesn't tell me everything, nor do I want to know everything

We talk about college, what he cooks (he's turning out to be a good cook), finances, his internship, what he did at said internship, his future -- where he wants to live.

I hardly see him, so when I do see him, we have very long talks.

But, prior to him going to college, we didn't talk as much. We talked mostly about school, his classes, what he and his girlfriend were planning. Though, at times, he would bring up politics and ask questions about life and stuff. He still does that.

IMO, it's harder to connect with teen boys. They just aren't as expressive and communicative as girls, like my teen DD. But, DS is getting better at it. I think maybe it's maturity for him. But, I did have to prod him to talk.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can appreciate your question as I have multiple sons, although in my case it's primarily baseball. What these PPs who obviously don't have sons don't get is the bonds of communication that men experience when talking about the nuances of sports. I see it in the conversation between my husband and the boys. They aren't just "talking about football" or whatever. There is a lot more to it than that.

What I've done:

Read up on their favorite team and at least learn the names of the key players. Know how the team is doing every week. Know who and when they are playing each week. Show some interest in whether they win or lose. Keep up with general team news, e.g. a coach is fired, a major player is injured and out for the season, etc. Learn the basics of the game. I get it about the noise in the house with all the cheering, but try to be a part of that - make the chili or order the pizza, for example. They will appreciate the effort and this is one of those things that will get better as they get older and realize that most girls aren't into it as much as they are, either!

[Anonymous]

School, friends, popular music, video games (I am not interested but he likes to talk about them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can appreciate your question as I have multiple sons, although in my case it's primarily baseball. What these PPs who obviously don't have sons don't get is the bonds of communication that men experience when talking about the nuances of sports. I see it in the conversation between my husband and the boys. They aren't just "talking about football" or whatever. There is a lot more to it than that.

What I've done:

Read up on their favorite team and at least learn the names of the key players. Know how the team is doing every week. Know who and when they are playing each week. Show some interest in whether they win or lose. Keep up with general team news, e.g. a coach is fired, a major player is injured and out for the season, etc. Learn the basics of the game. I get it about the noise in the house with all the cheering, but try to be a part of that - make the chili or order the pizza, for example. They will appreciate the effort and this is one of those things that will get better as they get older and realize that most girls aren't into it as much as they are, either!

Agree, OP, I get it too. While my son can talk about a multitude of other things, during football season, he’s excited about football. He and his friends talk about football. While I don’t understand, it’s a passion.

So, I try to engage on his level. I know the basics of the rules, so I can follow a game and watch parts of a game with him and DH each week.

The other thing I do that I find more interesting (not more intellectual) is the drama - who didn’t play much this week, which teams over or underperformed, who’s dating which celebrities or who broke up. For all of that, I don’t have to actually watch the games or understand it but can just read some headlines or IG posts.

I’m never going to be motivated enough to know the game as well as he does, so this works well for us.

[Anonymous]

I get it too OP. My son has limited interests outside of baseball. So I've dug really deep into learning baseball analytics, etc. I always liked the game but now I'm more proficient then almost any man I know (I'm the mom).

And lest everyone criticize him for being basic and boring--he may be but he just started as a freshman at a top10 school so he's able to lock in and care about things when it counts. He just doesn't have a lot of personal passions outside of sports, primarily baseball.

[Anonymous]

Meet him where he is. You learn with him and enjoy it through his eyes. Thats what I did when DS was into Pokemon, or Greek mythology, or animals, or diggers… you find out what they love about it and learn to love it too.