What does quirky mean on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

People frequently say their DC is quirky. I know the dictionary definition, but usage here seems different from "strange" or "odd". What does it mean here?

[Anonymous]

It means "weird".

[Anonymous]

It's got a negative connotation in the DMV. If you picked up that person and placed them down in NYC, PDX, or SF, they'd be celebrated for their oddities.

[Anonymous]

I think strange and odd are more pejorative. Quirky is more someone who beats to their own drum. Possibly (probably?) but not necessarily neurodiverse. I have one like this who doesn’t have any formal dx but has different interests from the rest of her kids in MS. She’s bookish, loves plants/gardening, loves mountain biking, never uses her phone, doesn’t wear anything remotely trendy (such as jeans, tank tops, hoodies, lululemon, cool sneakers -she wears Merrells and t shirts from vacations or dh SEC alma mater). She has a handful of nice friends, does great in school - shes no harder or less happy than my other two more conventional kids. I wouldn’t be surprised if down the road she gets an autism or adhd dx but I have had her evaluated and there was no finding of either

[Anonymous]

Autistic.

- parent of an autistic kid.

[Anonymous]

March to the beat of your own drum.
Non conforming.

[Anonymous]

It means a little bit on the spectrum but not so much as make a mainstream classroom environment inappropriate.

It can also mean a kid who is on the spectrum but whoever is saying "quirky" doesn't want to say that aloud.

[Anonymous]

I described my DD as quirky on DCUM once and everyone thought I meant my DD was neurodivergent/on the spectrum.

(I meant it to describe my DD who marches to the beat of her own drum, not as coded language for ND/ASD, but quickly realized that’s not how it is currently being used.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Autistic.

- parent of an autistic kid.

My quirky kid is not autistic but I think of her as spectrum adjacent. I think she’s generally well liked but she’s definitely a little different. I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Autistic.

- parent of an autistic kid.

My quirky kid is not autistic but I think of her as spectrum adjacent. I think she’s generally well liked but she’s definitely a little different. I

That's how I think of it too. Our kid is quirky and not autistic, but shares some features. Both me and my husband are that way as well. We both have autistic friends who've asked if we're autistic before.

[Anonymous]

I think of it as an artsy kid with purple hair and docs.

[Anonymous]

Artsy fartsy

[Anonymous]

Like others, I thought it meant someone who had a few unusual interests or fashion choices or habits. I quickly realized that it is definitely code for neurodivergent for mid to upper elementary schoolers and middle schoolers. It’s used a lot by adult volunteers in some activities I’m involved in, like Girl Scouts. I also see it with private school admissions.

People don’t want to say a kid is not the right fit or a perfect fit for a school because of their neurodivergence, so they’ll say that a school is a great school for quirky kids like Larlo. Or in a pejorative way: “the campus was beautiful but the kids were a bit too quirky for Larla”. Transaction: Larla’s parents don’t want her peer group to be too neurodivergent.

It’s a shame because it’s mean and snide when it’s used this way and quirky in its original intent was actually a helpful way to describe a lot of kids. It was something we used as a positive self-description in high school in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think strange and odd are more pejorative. Quirky is more someone who beats to their own drum. Possibly (probably?) but not necessarily neurodiverse. I have one like this who doesn’t have any formal dx but has different interests from the rest of her kids in MS. She’s bookish, loves plants/gardening, loves mountain biking, never uses her phone, doesn’t wear anything remotely trendy (such as jeans, tank tops, hoodies, lululemon, cool sneakers -she wears Merrells and t shirts from vacations or dh SEC alma mater). She has a handful of nice friends, does great in school - shes no harder or less happy than my other two more conventional kids. I wouldn’t be surprised if down the road she gets an autism or adhd dx but I have had her evaluated and there was no finding of either

She’s not autistic. I don’t know why so many people want to diagnose their child as autistic because they aren’t basic. I’d be happy if I had a child that fit that description. She sounds great, you didn’t describe one trait that would describe a person with autism and you should feel nothing but pride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Autistic.

- parent of an autistic kid.

Yep. Either they have the diagnosis or don’t want to use it or they never got them diagnosed and they still know they’re autistic but they don’t want to use it. So instead it’s quirky.